Thursday, February 10, 2011

Always wonder. Never worry.

As I mentioned yesterday, some readers have asked for the story of exactly how we got here and a description how were able to save up enough money to make this happen.  In an old family blog of ours, I used to give some literal money-saving pointers.  You can read them here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here.  And for even more budgeting tips, take a look at this site, which I heard about from a fellow money-saving friend.  So in lieu of talking about changing our finances so that a family with kids can save $27,000 (because there really are so many more of them out there in google land), I thought I'd talk about changing our hearts instead.

Things have not always been easy for us.  There have been times in our marriage that things were downright hard.  I remember, when our first baby was still a baby, scrounging change from around the house so that Tommy could walk to the store to get milk because we didn't have enough money to put gas in the car to drive there.  I remember having a four hour total daily commute to and from work when I was 5 months pregnant with our second baby because we were living with my in-laws, I needed to work, and that was the best job I could find.  I remember our house getting foreclosed on and having to move into a two bedroom apartment when I was 8 months pregnant with our third baby because the adjustable rate on our mortgage adjusted and we literally could not make the obscenely high payments and still afford to feed our family.  And guess what?  Those are the days we still remember and marvel about.  All of those were the best freaking days of my life because without any of that, I wouldn't be here where I am now, in this wonderful place with these incredible children and this amazing story to tell.  My dear husband and I would not have the kind of love and appreciation for each other that many can only dream of.  I would not be able to look at a snake skin under my kitchen sink and say "Oh my gosh, people are gonna crack up when they hear about this!"


Worry anticipates the worst.  Wonder plans for the best.  What I mean to say is: when will you have time to conjure up all the crazy and ill-advised ways for you to realize your dreams if you are wasting your time imagining all the ways things could go wrong?  Example time!

Worry Guy:
Oh my gosh!  We can't pay our mortgage!  We're gonna lose our house!  Then we'll be homeless!  On the streets!  And kids are going to be criminals!  Then Lady Gaga is going to become presideeeeeeeeent!  Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

Wonder Lady:
Oh my gosh!  We can't pay our mortgage!  I wonder how this is going to work out?  Maybe we'll actually be able to start saving some money.  Maybe I'll get to spend more time with my kids.  Maybe we could start, like, weaving our own cloth or something.  Yeah, and sell it on Etsy.  We could be the most famous family of cloth weavers this side of the Mississippi!

If you really want...WANT....something, first you have got to stop worrying that it's never going to happen and start wondering how it IS going to happen.  And then start doing it.  Quit listening to them.  According to them, we got married too young.  We had kids too soon.  We did a crazy thing by buying a house we'd never seen in a place we'd never been.  And we, we who made all the wrong choices and broke all the rules, are having the most exciting, adventurous life that we could ever have imagined imagining.  We are not special or different.  We are just like you.  All we did is exactly what you and anyone else can do- we let our hope be bigger than our fear.

23 comments :

  1. You are an inspiration and blessing to us all. Thanks for sharing.

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  2. Awesome!!! Favorite part: "Worry anticipates the worst. Wonder plans for the best."
    Amen, Sister!! Glad you're enjoying your adventure. You deserve every happiness.

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  3. Wow, thank you guys so much. It warms my heart to know that you all are reading and enjoying this blog :)

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  4. You are awesome, that is all. ;)

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  5. I had no idea we have so much in common. You just amped up my hope about 100fold.

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  6. Good for you. I think that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. The fact you went through that and now have this house is inspiring.

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  7. Hi!!! I'm stopping by and following from Lucas's Journey Sensational Weekend Social. I hope you'll check out my blog Frazzled Mama at http://frazzled-mama.com and follow me back. Have a great day.

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  8. Hello! Newest follower from the Super Mega 7 Weekend blog hop! Would love for you to stop by and follow back, whenever you get a chance. Have a great week! (:

    Amber
    http://beautifullybellafaith.blogspot.com

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  9. Hi there! :) Awesome blog! I am your newest follower from the blog hop - would love a follow back!

    Alex

    http://www.thekidisrich.blogspot.com/
    Educating kids and teens in business, money management, and earning money.

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  10. Dwija, thank you so much for this post! I am a prisoner of my fear and a self-fulfilling worrier and you give me hope! I want to be brave like you when I grow up :)

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  11. This one made me cry too! You are amazing to have gone through such hard times and still have so much optimism. You inspire me to see the silver lining too!

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  12. Great pst...what a past. You are one strong woman.

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  13. I love reading old posts, from before I really even knew what blogging was all about. Thank you for sharing your struggles...we've been there too. God always seems to provide for us, amazingly. I need to stop being so much of the "worry guy" and be more like the "wonder lady". You inspire me, Dweej:)

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  14. I've read this before; I've loved this before. It has inspired me before, and it inspires me now. I HAVE to start being the wonder lady...not the worry lady. You remind me just what someone can accomplish when they wonder and never worry.

    Thank you for sharing it. It was just at a time I needed to hear it again.

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  15. Enjoyed your blog... hopped from Lightning...

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  16. I could so use this advice. I have a tendency to worry and project. I am working on it. Good on you for coming out of your struggles that much stronger.

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  17. Perfectly said!! Enjoy every day of your adventure, glad for your spirit, and glad I can witness it from afar because of your sharing.

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  18. I love your optimistic point of view! I'm glad I found you through The Lightning Bug!

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  19. All I have to say is that you are special.

    Well, almost all. I can never leave just a one-liner for a comment.

    I'm fortunate to know you through blogging and learn from your beautiful perspective on life.

    Now....I'm done.

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  20. Wow! I have been reading your blog for almost a year, but just came across this today. It was exactly what I needed to hear. We're working on a move back home near family and worry is sucking all the joy out of it. Thanks for the reminder to let go of worry and hold on to hope.

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