Friday, May 06, 2011

Facebook makes me a better mom

This morning I got up and looked around.

A mild panic settled over me.

The house, you see...it was clean.

And the half-finished projects, you see...were finished.

(no, no, no...not ALL the projects for the whole house. Have you lost your frappin' mind? No, just the ones that were literally in process for the last few weeks.  And unless you're planning on dropping that suitcase full of cash in the mail sometime soon, it's gonna be a loooong time before the everything-is-done happens.  Like, "we'll just skip ripping out the wheelchair ramp because we're gonna need it by the time we get that far" kind of long time)

And I didn't know what to do with myself.

What do normal people in normal houses do on a Thursday morning?  Do you know?  'Cause I sure don't.  Well, I didn't until I approached the magical-mystical-oracle-of-modern-day-Delphi ( you know, Facebook) and said :
 
"I need ideas. Beautiful day, two toddlers, no car, zero inspiration."

And in the back of my mind, I imagined people saying things like "don't do anything.  eat bon bons and play sudoku all day" or "what's inspiration? totally overrated".  But instead I got a whole slew of comments that were actually things that were doable.  Doable things.  Which is when I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach- that feeling I get when I know I'm going to have to do something momish.  


I'm just not very good at being momish sometimes.  No, really.  I always love my kids and feel incredibly lucky to have everything we have, but I'm not that "crafty" or "pretendy" or "cooky" (oh lordy lordy, file that in the back of your mind under "stories I wanna hear later").  I'm Excel spread-sheety, that's what I am.  Have you ever tried to explain how awesome and useful Excel is to a three year old boy?  Despite what you may be imagining, it didn't really work out the way I'd hoped.  So weird.


So there I am, looking at this list of real things that I could actually do with my kids, and I'm all "Ugh!  Why did I have to open my big mouth?  And why didn't anyone say 'eat bon bons and play sudoku all day'?  I could hang with that." 


Then it dawned on me.  Those people must do this stuff with their kids.  And if they do, then what...I can't?  Are you trying to tell me that someone else can do something I can't do?  Because if that's what you're saying, you got another thing comin'.  I mean, have you met me?  I can do stuff, ya know!  Cieslaks always win!  I will be the winner!


Oops.  Sorry.  Tiny itty bitty teeny weeny competitive streak that sometimes rears its ugly head.  Totally normal, right?  It's not?  Really?  Really really?

So in my typical go-big-or-go-home fashion, I decided that I was not only going to do something off that list, I was going to do every single thing.  In one day.  Which, if we get up really early and do item #4, we will accomplish (because "in one day" now means "within 24 hours".  Hey, it's my game.  I make the rules!).   And of course, for posterity and your viewing pleasure, I have photographically documented every step of Unexpected Super Momish Fun Day 2011.


And there's even video.


Oh yes, just you wait 'til the end.  It's not what you're imagining.

 Teach children to prank call while playing games on the bed
(aka TCTPCWPGOB.  It'll be the new rage in parenting, you'll see)
Suggestions 1 & 6/7

Clearly I know how to take advantage of an important teachable moment. "When in doubt, show them your big muscles."

Play in Dirt/Hike
(and by "hiking" I inferred "not actually hiking but rather letting baby stomp around yard".  Same thing)
Suggestions 2 & 7
Note the pink camo John Deere t-shirt.  Why yes, I do buy their clothing at the same place I buy the chicken's food.  Thank you for asking!

Make a tootdedoo marching band
Definition of TOOTDEDOO
noun
: the cardboard tube used to help hold the shape of paper products such as paper towels, wrapping paper, and toilet paper.  Also the sound you make when you blowyell (all one word) into them whilst marching about.
Suggestion 5
Sometimes the Tootdedoo will cease being a wind instrument and instead become a stringed instrument (in this case a guitar) or a weapon (frequently a sword).  My children are still so very normal.

Bake cookies
(This one item alone is more momish than I am usually capable of being on a weekday by myself.  Fact.)
Suggestion 6
There is so much more to this disastrous portion of the day that it deserves its very own post.  Which is why I'm not including the other photos.  Wouldn't want to ruin the fun now, would I?  I will just ask, though: Have you ever eaten hamster snacks?  Come on over and try some!

Make an outdoor obstacle course and fort using sheet and clothesline
(are you getting excited for the video yet???)
Suggestions 3 & 8

Alright, after those lame attempts at photographing the "obstacle course" we decided to film each other running through it instead.  My girls went first, and it was cute enough, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the vision of yours truly navigating said "course" designed by and made for humans under the age of 12 (incidentally, wearing the same horrendous shoes she was was when she retrieved her tar covered dog and when she had her creepy encounter at Wal-Mart.  You may now view them in all their baked potato glory) as filmed by my second daughter, age 8.  Those of a delicate disposition, consider yourself warned. 

video
Oh yes, I did do that obstacle course, and oh yes I was serious, because helloooo!  My children had just done it before me, and was I going to let a couple of kids be the winners?  I will give you a hint: the answer starts with an "N" and ends with an "o way Jose!"

It turns out, and you might want to sit down for this one, that being momish was not all that bad.  Definitely not as hard as I always imagine it will be.  Especially when other moms and dads who are all very good at being momish and dadish are willing to give you some ideas, lend you some of their creativity, and pat you on your virtual back when you step outside yourself to do a little extra.  Without Facebook bringing all my totally creative, not-as-lazy-as-me friends together this morning, I can guarantee you would not have done any of that fun, silly stuff you just saw.  And we wouldn't be getting up early tomorrow to tackle suggestion 4: make art. do yoga. listen to classical music all day.  We might have just read a book or played with trains.  Folded some laundry.

Wow, Facebook really does make me a better mom!

post signature

24 comments :

  1. It feels really great to hear someone else say that her greatest strength is her ability to play around with Excel spreadsheets. I love me some complicated spreadsheets. My husband claims I've made our budget extra-complicated because it means I get to play longer in Excel.

    I'm glad you had a fun day!

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  2. Wow that's a busy day! I think you got more accomplished in a day than I do...I don't even have one kid!

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  3. Yay facebook! ( : Looks like a great day. ( :
    Loved the obstacle course video-lol!

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  4. I think you should sign up for the ad sense type thing on youtube because that video is going to make you a very wealthy woman. I love the hopping!

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  5. LOL you are hilarious! Love the video, especially the hopping. What would we do without Facebook?

    I should try some of those ideas out with my toddler.

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  6. Don't be to momish, if you DO decide to home school your kids, they'll want recess all day!

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  7. You just home schooled your children in the method that is called unschooling! I love the pink camo tee and want 1 for myself!

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  8. bahahahaha! love it * way to go big or go home!! :D i'm wiped out just reading about ur busy bee day ~ ~

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  9. I'm tired just reading and watching all this. *lol*

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  10. And I couldn't figure out why I was so tired last night. Duh!

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  11. HA HA HA!!
    AWESOMENESS!

    You are wonderful at being mom-ish. I can't believe you doubted!

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  12. That video should be award-winning. In fact...I'll give it an award for being some of the best Mom being Momish footage that exists. Congratulations. What an awesome day and a lovely tribute to the brilliance that is facebook. I can't wait for the story about the cookies...that sounds like a winner, too!

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  13. Good Lord Dweej. That's a lot of fun for one day! Loved the video and the post.

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  14. I did almost kick that soccer ball over the fence. Overachiever much?

    Hah! Today I am being so lazy. I have a momishness hangover...

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  15. haha! YES! Show those kids who is BOSS! lol. Too funny. And you did a lot for one day. Again, can I come play at your house? Maybe I will replicate the obstacle course in my yard, practice real hard, and then, just maybe, I'll be up to snuff :)

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  16. You just cracked me up!! FB makes me a super ignoring mom. Having to have something to post on my blog other than "ignored laundry, at Reese's Peanut Butter cups, played Words With Friends on my Iphone" forces me to be a better mom ;) I love that you tried to do it all in one day!!

    Glad you came to my blog today :) Don't you just miss SD so much sometimes?

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  17. I like how you improvised the "hike" and am excited about the cookies story. hahaha.

    -Laura Arual

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  18. Ok, that's hilarious! I suspect you're a much better mom than you give yourself credit for. Looks like fun was had by all...including YOU. But don't feel like you're all alone. I'm an Excel spreadsheet kind of mom too. Maybe it's a California thing? :)

    Blessings,
    Rosann

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  19. LOVE this post!!! HAHAHA!!! I'm a new follower from your FTLOB feature! Congrats on that!!! :)

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  20. Ooooh!! So much fun! I'm TOTALLY going to steal the obstacle course idea! *dashes in and swipes your sheets* ;-)

    Happy Mother's Day!

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  21. Someday you will do big people things again but they will never be as fun as doing little people stuff when you are big!!
    Great post.

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  22. You are awesome period. Your kids are so lucky to have such a FUN mom, lol! xo

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  23. Love it! Looks like you guys had fun! :)

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  24. I think that is why Sunday was so hard for me...playing outdoors for six hours instead of working on to-do list items is just not my normal thing. I swear you are writing about everything I've drafted or topics I've jotted down...promise I'm not stealing ideas! I think that's why I am enjoying reading every post...you are publishing what I either haven't started or finished yet.

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