Tuesday, June 07, 2011

If I can do it, so can you

Sometimes I feel woefully unqualified for this parenting business.  I'm not very creative.  I don't like to cook.  Repetitive sounds annoy me.  And repetitive sounds that are also inherently irritating (like say, for example, a child proclaiming the word "wah" over and over again because he cannot use the black sharpie to augment the pale blue plaid upholstery covering the sofa.  Hypothetically.) are even worse.  There are days, I have to admit, when all I want is some silence.  23 minutes of uninterrupted silence.  In a house that's clean.

I'm not kidding.  If you could see and hear the state of my house at the exact moment that I decide to peruse pithy message tees that I will never actually purchase, you would say "How have your poor children survived all these years with YOU as their primary care giver?  There must be a God because this is a true miracle!".  And then all the neighbors flood in through the front door and everyone is hugging, except not really because the dogs are leaping all over people and covering us in dog hair, but I still won't let anyone past the foyer because...well, I mean...you know.  The state of my house and all.

There are also serious moments of two steps forward-three steps back around here on a daily basis.  Like when the baby dumps the dog food onto the carpet while you're trying to load the dishwasher.  Or the boy sneaks a marker into his bed during nap time and colors on his walls while you're folding laundry.  Now you have dog food on the floor, a machine half full of dirty dishes, partially folded laundry and walls covered in marker and you're like "And now I'm expected to organize an educational craft that's visually stimulating while simultaneously teaching them precious little songs with accompanying hand motions???  I give up!".   

Don't give up!

Just look.  Look at this.
A simple set of wooden blocks in a tray.  An entire set.  Every single block that the set came with, there, nestled snugly in its little puzzle bed.  The whole set.  This toy has been in our house for almost three years.  Three years.  And in that time, we have moved twice.  Twice! And against all laws of toddlerhood and reasonable expectations of parenting four wily children, I have managed to keep track of every single piece.  That wooden block tray full of its wooden blocks is the crowning glory of my entire ten year parenting career.  Because I kept it together.

I can keep it together.

The blocks in that tray, not a single one lost, only one slightly chewed by a naughty puppy, are my beacon of light atop the steep bluffs of totally losing it.  If I can keep track of every single one of those blocks through all this craziness with all these crazies (sorry kids if you're reading this, but you know it's true), surely I can find the time to vacuum.  Or make a chore chart.  Or plan ahead for dinner.  Maybe I don't always want to.  I choose not to.  But I could.  I can.   Which means, oh joy of joys, I am in control after all!  And that means you are too!

Don't give up.  Find your own block tray.  Make it lovely.  Pat yourself on the back.  Breathe.

Now if you'll excuse me, my baby is feeding her breakfast to the dogs and my son has begun some sort of orange-juice-meets-remote-control type of experiment.




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41 comments :

  1. Well played!!! We have that same block cart. And we do not have all the pieces. And we've had it less than three years. Kudos to you, mama. You do indeed have it together.

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  2. Plus, that whole not having a dryer thing. That impresses me to no end too. What planning and discipline that must involves sets my head reeling.

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  3. Okay, I am just posting a link to this today. Do you mind? It's perfect. How many times have I cleared a little spot in the house, and then chosen to stare at it while I nurse a baby, because I needed to feel productive (as if providing a living breathing human being's only food source, not to mention constant nurturing and brain development, was not enough. Nine times.) in the midst of utter clutter.

    You win, today, Dweej!

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  4. I've been a mom for 17 years and I still think my kids got hosed. I'm silly, I've never really had a maternal bone in my body and, yet, somehow, they've managed to survive (all 4 in the National Jr/Sr Honor Society thankyouverymuch). When my kids were little I used to tell them that God hand picked each of them for me, I still think that's true.

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  5. I am so obsessive about the pieces to those stupid toys too! Cara has a tea set that she rather loves, and one of the three cakes went missing. My husband searched for a while and then moved on, but not me. Tea set cakes don't just vanish! The day it was found under the nightstand in our bedroom was a happy day all around. I should win some kind of mom award for that one.

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  6. I just popped over from "Don't Eat the Daisies" who listed you as part of the Pay It Forward blog hop, and I'm so glad I did! I'm on the floor laughing at your hilarious article. I'll be back, you can count on it.

    There are a lot of other great links being posted over at A Life-Sized Catholic Blog. If you have a minute, or twenty-three, zip over and check it out!

    BTW~I grew up in Michigan~Grosse Pointe Shores~and I still have a lot of family there.

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  7. Well said. As the mother of three, two grown and one almost there, I can relate to the crazy busyness of these early child-rearing days. One day, all too soon, you will have your 23 minutes alone. And then you will wish you had 23 minutes with them.

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  8. i love this! i laughed all the way through. especially this part...

    "How have your poor children survived all these years with YOU as their primary care giver? There must be a God because this is a true miracle!".

    and this...
    you have dog food on the floor, a machine half full of dirty dishes, partially folded laundry and walls covered in marker and you're like "And now I'm expected to organize an educational craft that's visually stimulating while simultaneously teaching them precious little songs with accompanying hand motions???"

    my life exactly!

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  9. Aw, love this! A, that is quite the feat. THe hubs and I don't have kids, and I am pretty sure we would have at least lost one block by now. B, how the heck did you figure out how they all went in there. If you start seeing Jesus in your toast burns, then for sure call the pope. Miracles are happening all over the place there :) Have a great Tuesday lady!

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  10. That block tray is a testament to your awesomeness.

    I say this: Take a pair of your undies, wear them on the outside of your pants. Take a dish towel and safety pin it to the back of your shirt. You are SUPER MOM and need to be in the proper costume!

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  11. I love the way you used the block tray as a symbol of togetherness! I am going to find my block tray too!!!

    Oh- and YES!!! about the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back! It's like the kids sense productivity and they think I want more things to clean up or something! Gee, Mom really seems to like cleaning! Let's help her by making everything insanely messy!!!

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  12. Yeah for you and your little block tray! A symbolic victory, for sure : )

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  13. I can SO relate to that. I have to find my "block tray". I've got a dozen puzzles with 23 pieces...none of those will qualify.

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  14. It's like you are watching my life on TV!

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  15. okay - I have been there, in fact just last night. Dog poop on the only carpet in the house. Son building "roller coaster" in the living room. I understand the craving a quiet and clean home. But some day I will miss the mess and noise. At least that is what THEY say. I am sure I will miss my kids but right now I miss the clean house and quiet I used to get.

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  16. @Coren- you didn't know I had a spycam in your house? Oops!

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  17. I know many moms of many who say they held all the "pieces" together with one or two, but once they had the third baby, all Fisher Price were left to fend for themselves!

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  18. Love this one Dweej. Great way to look at it.

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  19. I know tons of people have commented almost the same thing - but I'm so impressed. And I have one toy that I think the same thing about. :) Although my house is not nearly as crazy as yours. But I can't believe all the stuff you do every day. :)

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  20. "Like when the baby dumps the dog food onto the carpet while you're trying to load the dishwasher." lol My daughter was always obsessed with bathing in the dog's water bowl. Can't say she has entirely gotten over that. She has a thing for water.

    I never had blocks for the kids because the very idea of such a messy, all over the place, always missing pieces, toy sent me into convulsions. Which is also why we don't have puzzles!

    That all being said, I used to have a friend who had two kids aged 4 and 5. I used to watch her with her kids and wonder how anyone ever had the energy to keep up. How could she just calmly sit there when the kids were in the next room possibly wreaking all sorts of havoc?

    Now I get it. Somehow you just manage. Hanging on by that thread. ;)

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  21. where is my block cart? WHEREISMYBLOCKCART?!!! Dweej! I lost my block cart. You have crawled inside my brain and described a day eerily similar to any number of days over here in Maine. Sometimes you just send me the best little messages and remind me to calm down. Going now to break up a brawl in the playroom.

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  22. Now that is truly impressive! All you need to do now is think of that block set when you feel any niggling doubts!

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  23. That's it! We're packing up and moving your way. I just MUST have you in my life, like real life. I'm going to move next door, pop out some kiddos, and we'll all be friends and enjoy the awesomeness of each other's presence and count the blocks in that block tray as often as we count our blessings.

    You make me think that I could have kids...that despite my tendency for impatience and disorganization that maybe, just maybe I could have kids and be as innately good at it as you are. And you are good at it. I see your kids and I see happiness. Pure joy...and really, that's what it's all about, right?

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  24. i read this post and got a little confused as to who wrote this...you, or me, because this sounds waaaaay too much like my own parenting experience!

    ps...sorry i haven't commented for a few days...just got back from a fab vacation...missed ya!

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  25. I am uber impressed. I think I currently have four puzzles in a corner and I'm holding out that I will find the missing pieces. Love the symbolism, except that it means I don't have it together.

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  26. Wow, y'all are way too sweet! Thank you :D

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  27. @Kara- Oh my goodness...you don't NEED a wooden block tray, because you *actually* do stuff! I've seen your projects, woman :)

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  28. This confirms my fears and simultaneously makes me feel better. With only one child right now, I often wonder how I will possibly stretch to provide everything all the time for multiple children if God sends them. The answer, clearly, is that I won't. But they'll turn out ok anyway. :-)

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  29. Do repetitive sounds annoy you? Do they? do they? do they? do they? do they? do they? do they?

    huh, mommy, huh...

    do they? do they? do they? do they? do they?

    If you get toys like Legos, then you never notice when the pieces are missing...just sayin'...

    Enjoyable, as always!

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  30. Excellent post!
    just one question...is the block box intact because it's never actually been played with....I mean, why bother with blocks when there's orange juice/remotes/dog food to play with!!!

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  31. I would totally trust you with my kid, Dweej. I mean, look at that block tray! (I remember something very similar from my childhood)

    Love ya! xoxo

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  32. Erma Bombeck (if you don't know who this funny lady is goggle her : D) once said that "cleaning the house while the children are still growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing".

    So when people stop by to visit throw your doors open wide and hand them a shovel - it's not forever - better a messy house than an empty one. Hugs.

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  33. I can so relate to what you said! I too am sound sensitive and have a wee one we call the "little tiger" who is interested in every possible sound that can be made by human vocal chords and will repeat the same sound over and over and over for HOURS. Of course, said child is fascinated by music, especially vocal music and last night was attempting to copy an opera singer... while I am delighted about the musical bent I am tortured by the repetitive sounds.

    Praise God for a hubby who knew where to buy ear-phones that block enough of the noise to let me work at the computer while the little tiger plays--or whines, screeches, bellows, or attempts singing....

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  34. I love this post. I can barely keep it together and I have a 5month old who's not even mobile. I know those days will come when things will be even more chaotic than they are now. I love the moms who keep it real and are honest about it.

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  35. This post is touching many other moms out there, I'm sure...including me. Thank you for this. I often feel like I can't keep it all together. Like life is taking over and leaving me with dirty dishes, a potty training toddler running around bare bottomed, and toys scattered from wall to wall. And then I blog. Which is a passion, but it's time consuming.

    Thanks for your honesty. :)

    Many blessings,
    Rosann

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  36. Blogging is time consuming, isn't it? But so worth it! The dialogue and realtionships are priceless :)

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  37. You keep markers in your house?!?! You brave, brave soul. I once kept markers in my house and after the 5th time I had to spend 2 hours scrubbing my son's face with the most non-toxic cleaner I could find after he decided to "color himself The Hulk" I put those puppies in the car and drove 200 miles from our home to an abandoned field, I crossed the field and came to a pond where I hurled them in.

    I hope the kids never find them.

    I can't even begin on the complete block set. I bow to your greatness.

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  38. Oh please, there's no such thing as a bad mother, only bad children...well, that's my theory and I"m sticking with it.

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  39. I'm kind of undecided on having kids. I can barely keep it together with my furry kids (pets, not wolf people). That is a cool toy though. My sister is all about not buying plastic toys for her kid so I might need to get one of those block tray things for my niece when she's older.

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  40. You should! They're made by a company called Melessa & Doug: http://www.melissaanddoug.com/wooden-toy-building-blocks

    We also have a train set made out of different colors and sizes of blocks by the same company. Very fun and durable :)

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  41. Great metaphor. You do have it all together!! If you can keep track of those blocks for 10 YEARS, you can do anything ;)

    I was away for the weekend and when I came home and got the kids to bed, the first thing I did was organize the toys and find all the little pieces. It drives me crazy when they're missing. Maybe I have it all together, too ;)

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