Sunday, June 19, 2011

Our Engagement Story

This post is in response to Hallie's call for engagement stories.  You can check them all out on her blog Betty Beguiles

Some of may have already seen the first of these paragraphs as I snatched them from my About Us section.  I am sneaky like that, friends!  But read on, because the second half is fresh and new.
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She was a drama major with a nose-ring. He was a classics major with a racing green Karmann Ghia. She complimented him on his car. He blew her off because she was stupid and obnoxious. Obviously he was stuck-up and unfunny. And so it was that for the entirety of freshman year, and the first semester of sophomore year at the University of Dallas, they harbored a mild disdain for one another which sometimes progressed to complete indifference but never improved past basic human civility.

Providentially (as all marriages begin), they both chose the same semester to study abroad at the University's campus in Rome . At the very beginning of the semester she got sick, slept for 13 hours straight, and fell behind on her school work. "If I sit at a table with my friends" she thought upon entering the study lounge "I will certainly get wrapped up in some amazingly exciting, totally unimportant conversation and will get no school work done whatsoever" (because in the About Us section, she thinks and speaks in the floweriest manner possible). So she decided to sit at that table, over there, with the boy who didn't talk much (that's you Damien, if you ever read this) and the boy who didn't like her, because certainly this would result in almost no chatter whatsoever. But the boy who didn't like her, whose name is Tommy, was working on the same project as she was, and he made a joke. A joke that was funny.

From that precise moment on, we were practically inseparable.  Aside from sleeping, which we did very little of because that would mean time spent apart, we did everything together.  Went to class.  Ate our meals.  Traveled across Europe.  Built blanket forts.  Walked to that tiny grocery store and bought bottles of wine and then drank them.  By ourselves.  That was not smart.  I'm sure my roommates and his and every other poor soul who had to witness to our ridiculous courtship can attest to all these facts. 

And we were not merely an unexpected couple.  Oh no, we were an impossible couple.  As in, so apparently different that folks were sure it was some kind of elaborate practical joke.  As in people (person) who did not know me AT ALL were warning him that dating me was about the worst idea a man could have.  Incidentally, that warning thing made me sad, and then Tommy had to have a "talk" with "people" and in so doing revealed a side to them that they had not imagined existed.  And then I think "we" started making more sense.

People were even taking bets as to how many short weeks our silly tryst would last.  Or so I heard.  Not who it was, but that they were.  I laughed.  Have I mentioned I like a challenge?  Well speaking of challenges, we're coming up on 600 weeks soon.  I wonder if any of the bettors read this blog.  I wonder if any of them guessed "over 600 weeks".  If so, I hope he or she can still collect their winnings!

So one day in Athens, after participating in the eat-a-gyro-at-every-stand-you-see challenge and realizing that I, although my appetite is voracious for a woman of my stature, was no match for the hungry boys with whom I was competing (have you heard about my thing with challenges?), we disappeared together as we were wont to do.  And somewhere I have a written journal where I wrote down the facts, but I am in the kitchen and it is not, so I will tell you a fact-free version, sans journal.

I am there yammering and he is there listening, and I think I was feeling misunderstood, not by him, but the world.  Because what you see is not what you get.  Neither with me nor with him.  I was only 18 after all. 

And in response to my umpteenth existential meltdown, he said: What if we get married someday?

And I stopped talking.

And then I said: Um....really?

Followed very quickly by: Okay!

But we decided to keep it a secret, because who gets engaged after only dating for, like, 6 weeks after hating/being indifferent to each other for 19 months?

Crazy people who buy fixer uppers off the internet, that's who. 

The ring, an eternity band from Tiffany's that had belonged to his grandmother, came later that summer as we sat around the fire-pit in his parent's backyard, drinking Foster's and chatting with his brother.  And even then people were sure we were fools.

Because we are.

Thankfully, even fools have soul mates.

This is the first photo of us I found.  Sorry honey!

Happy Father's Day, Tommy!  Thank you for finding the me that all the warners and bettors weren't willing to dig for.

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36 comments :

  1. Oooh, oooh, oooh... we got engaged after only 6 weeks of dating! And my husband was "warned" about me too at UD by some supposedly well intentioned "friends". This is freaky weird, Dwija! You were probably right to keep your secret. We made it public with a ring and everything right away and were openly scoffed and laughed at. Hah!

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  2. BTW... I always tell people that 6 weeks of UD dating is like 6 months of normal dating time.

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  3. Charlotte, that gave me the chills! And HAH is right! We are two peas :)

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  4. and yes! That is so funny and true. Why is that? Crazy place, I tell you!

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  5. Adorable. Adorable. That's all I have to say....

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  6. (plus that my dh and I were engaged like three months into dating and had known each other less than a year as friends...)

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  7. Great story! We were together for *five years* before the engagement. And I managed to lose a couple of "friends" who decided that he and i weren't right for each other. People are weird. And sometimes they obviously just don't know.

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  8. I love it. Love it. Love. It.

    UD courtships just make me happy. Especially when the proposal involves Greece. And gyros. (Hey, I just wrote about gyros on my blog.) What a fun, crazy story. What I'd have expected, except better.

    We had a long indifferent period too, by the way. (Well, I was indifferent. He just figured he'd blown it by asking me to kiss him on our first date which I didn't even know was a date so of course I refused.)

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  9. "which I didn't even know was a date so of course I refused." HILARIOUS! Gosh, I love it. So funny!

    Us thinking girls sure do think so hard about things that we sometimes don't actually know what's going on. Warms my heart, Melanie!

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  11. Charles and I met December 18, 1981 when he came up to visit mutual friends. After two weeks, we were in love. He returned to California. We pined, we wrote letters, we called each other. I visited him on February 18, 1982. On March 7, 1982, we got engaged. (This after being in each other's physical presence for three weeks). He moved to Juneau in May 1982. We were married October 23, 1982.

    I see your six weeks and raise it!

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  12. This is such an awesome story... "even fools have soul mates"... thankfully, indeed. You know I married a man who already had 6 kids... and a psychotic ex. I LOVE your story... it seems so... effortless? LOL

    You two are actually VERY cute together in that picture :)

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  13. Hah! I love this! We were wacky like that too. Talked on the phone/chatted online for three weeks. Met for three days. Engaged! :D

    You guys look adorable in that photo. I love how he asked... "What if we get married someday?" I like that! Different and so kinda off-hand, casual like. :o)

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  14. Awwwww, Dweej I loved reading this! You guys DO look adorable together in the photo. And rest assured, obviously, that you guys are SO not alone, neither in your whirlwind romance-to-engagement (Doug and I were engaged after 7 months, married after 8-1/2, only because he had to be out to sea for a couple of them!), nor in your unfortunate associations with haters and nay-sayers.

    ;D Jerks. (I'm so eloquent.) They don't know what they're talking about anyway!

    When my hubby's older (and, ahem, wannabe-wiser) brother heard that Doug was going to extend his vaca (because he met me,) he said, "What, is she HOT or something??" We still say that whenever we want a good laugh. Hah!

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  15. I loved this story so much! Thanks for sharing it. It sounds like you two really bring out what is beautiful in each other.

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  16. What a great story! I love it. Thanks for sharing!

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  17. Loved this story. My husband says he fell in love with me when I was 14, but I was indifferent for another 10 years. You just never know.

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  18. Such a fun story - and cute picture! <3

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  19. A fabulous love story!

    I've only known you a few months Dweej so I cannot profess to know you very well - but I feel like I do, reading your blog. And by that, I'm not surprised at your funny, gorgeous courtship and engagement. Clearly, you were meant to be. Naysayers are always present, but who cares about them? :)

    Love the picture - you do look like soulmates!

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  20. When I first heard that you two were an item, this was pretty much my exact thought process:

    "Really...? Like Bagpipes-Tommy and Dwija, Dwija? Huh. That's cool."

    I never doubted, it was just surprising.

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  21. Awwww, love love love love LOVE this! So cute. Hey, when you know, you know, right!? I felt the same thing with my hubs. Most people don't understand how you can know after just a short time, but I don't understand how people don't know after that amount of time :) What a fairy tale story, Dwija :) Hope you are having a great Monday!

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  22. Very sweet!! Loved it.

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  23. Awww how sweet. Long courtships are over rated. Looks like you two crazy kids made it work for you.

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  24. And now I am crying at this improbable love story even though I don't even know either of you personally except via this entertaining blog of yours. That just goes to show, the naysayers of this world are not always right.

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  25. Hey, I married a UD Classics major, too. ;) Though, officially, I suppose now he is a Catholic U. Green and Latin guy. But still. Love the story. Thanks for sharin. Cheers to the Vino of Lamark and all that stuff.

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  26. I LOVE your story! Seriously, one of the most fun that I've read. And I love it precisely because I never could have done it. Instead I went through all of the torture of trying to be mature and wise and dragging things out. And now looking back I can see that somehow we really *did* know enough that soon. I am glad things worked out so wonderfully for you!

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  27. Awww, so sweet! Although, who goes around warning people about who they should date?? I'm glad he had words with them! Also, my honey and I were engaged after ONE whole week of dating. I didn't get my ring for a few more months because we had to wait to be in the same state again, but, yeah. When you know, you know! It's like the most obvious thing in the world!

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  28. AW! That's a great story! It seems like the ones that people really think won't make it are the best couples in the end! :)

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  29. Love it! And it's not so crazy, we were engaged after a mere 6 weeks also! Its a magical little milestone I suppose!

    People thought we were crazy, people told us on all sides it would never last, and we're the happiest little couple with the happiest little children and the happiest little pup that we know!

    What do people know! Pft. Congrats on 600 weeks! LOL

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  30. Love this! Such a great story. I remember when we talked about buying a queen sized bed after being together for about a month and that was when I knew he was the one. :)

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  31. What a wonderful story!! :) JDubbs and I had mild disdain for each other for 3 years, then dated for one summer, then didn't see each other for 4 years, then saw each other one night and suddenly I was moving across the country to be with him. When you know, you know :)

    And you two obviously know. Hooray for an awesome story to tell your kids! (and ps I love the tone in which you wrote it)

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  32. Awwwww! Your story swept me away. Thanks for sharing it! :-)

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  33. I love your story!! It's perfect...and I did not like my husband before we started dating either! I called him a jerk whenever possible. He asked me out one day, and the rest is history! Congrats on your 600 weeks :)
    P.S. I love that picture of you two.

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  34. I love your story - especially 'cause it's a lot like mine! We knew each other for over a year before dating, friends (I know who they were 'cause it was ALL of them) set up a betting pool against us, we were both "warned" about each other, and we got engaged after 3 months (at Lilith Fair... who gets engaged at Lilith Fair??). We just celebrated 10 years! Congrats on 600 weeks :)

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