Back on January 18th of this year, when I wrote my second post ever on this blog, I said this:
It's not all that overwhelming for me, apparently, to imagine moving and renovating and having four kids simultaneously, but knowing where to start with all of....this, the story-telling business, has got me in a little bit of a tizzy. I mean "I was born in Los Angeles...." might be a little too far back, but eventually I'll probably have to go there for you to fully appreciate the intricacies of my neuroses.
Well, eventually is today, my friends. It came sooner than I thought.
As promised yesterday, I'm here to start the history behind the history. And the best I can come up with is...
I was born in Los Angeles.
I was born in Los Angeles at Cedars-Sinai hospital.
I was born in Los Angeles at Cedars-Sinai hospital to a 17 year old girl.
I don't remember the day I was born or the hundreds of days that came after, so I can't tell you those stories. I can't assume I know what went on in my parents' lives or their hearts. What challenges they faced, what joys they felt, and whether or not they ever regretted anything they said or did. So I won't talk about that. I can't. They are real people with real lives and only they can tell their stories.
I can only tell mine.
My parents were Hare Krishnas. If they didn't name me Dwija, if I had been a boy, the plan was to name me Nrsimhadeva. So, yes, being born a girl is the first thing I was ever grateful for, thank you for asking. They were also married, my parents were. And they loved each other.
I weighed 8 pounds and 9 ounces on the day I was born and my mother had a natural, unmedicated delivery. Did I mention she was 17?
So when people talk about others being too young or too hard or too soon or too poor...when they talk about what's a good idea and what isn't, as if their judgement is infallible, as if one person can judge what's good or best for another, I think of a newborn me in a hospital in Los Angeles. With a mother who was too young, parents who were too poor, who had me too soon, but who didn't think I was a bad idea and never uttered the words "too hard".
I don't believe in too hard.