Monday, October 03, 2011

I'm too S*xy for this Painting

I was going to say something about homeschooling and what (nonexistent) curriculum we're using, but then the photo I wanted to use is on the other computer and no I have NOT backed it up on the external hard-drive yet, thankyouverymuch.  So instead, I'm going to talk about Right Said Fred.

Oh yes I am, thanks to my friend MK (she blogs at Why yes I am crazy, thank you for asking!) who was chatting with me earlier tonight about some ground-breaking subject matter and said this:
you can follow her too, ya know! @celticmama
Back in the olden days, those days before Tommy and I were married but when we knew each others' class schedules as well as we knew our own and had free access to each others' apartments if we needed to, say, steal food or nap on an empty couch, I was at Tommy's apartment with his roommate Hunter.  (Hunter Hammet of Dallas sommelier fame.  True freaking story, you guys.  I didn't know how actually fancy he had gotten until I just read that bio.  Dang!)

Anyway, their third roommate was also an artist and had painted an enormous abstract piece that hung on the main wall of their living room.  It looked something like this:
And no, their apartment did not smell the way most boys' apartments smelled in those days.  You can go ahead and add that to your list of "reasons Tommy lucked out and got to marry such an awesometastic lady."

So, what would you do if you were hanging out at your fiance's apartment waiting for him to get out of class and you had a large backdrop-like painting hanging on a nearby wall and then found out that his roommate (Hunter) had Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" on CD?

Have a fake runway show, of course.

'Cause we knew that Tommy was going to get home *any second* and if he walked in and we had "I'm Too Sexy" blaring and we were "doing our little turns on the catwalk" in front of the painting, it would be, like THE BEST TUESDAY AFTERNOON OF HIS LIFE.

I mean seriously, just imagine this...

 in front of that^^^ painting.  Ninja Turtle masks may have been involved.

I know, right?  Awe-SOME.

But then we got to the end of the song and he still wasn't home.

So we put it on repeat, dancing and turning and strutting like mad folk, keeping our eyes on the front door so that the minute he walked in, we would be able to see our extremely hilarious cleverness reflected in his eyes.

It was going to be the the crowning glory of our ridiculous roommate/fiance co-antics (yes, there were several).

But after the sixth round of  that fine little ditty, our poor swaggery hips were losing their swagger.  I could no longer keep my cheeks sucked in in the customary hot-model manner.  His strut was becoming more of a shuffle.  Our plan was being foiled.  Foiled, I say!

Because of course Tommy did not have the decency to tell us that he was meeting with one of his professors after class and would not be coming DIRECTLY HOME the way we had not promised us that he would.  Which means that for 18 minutes straight we did our very best most fantastic wonderous model impressions ever with no one even there to appreciate and applaud us.  No one!

And then, just when we stopped to rethink our strategy and pressed pause on that there compact disc player, we heard his keys in the front door...

Leaping!  Scrambling!  Strutting!  Throwin' out some jazz hands!  Turning, turning, turning!

Our dream had finally come true.

It was everything I could have hoped!

And we lived happily ever after.
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  1. Hahahaha!!! You are nuts, Dweej. Love it.

  2. I'm breathless with wonder and amazement! Womazement!!!!

  3. And to think...this story would not have been possible without YOUR inspiration!

    p.s. Does anyone else think it's weird that they're letting me raise real human children?

  4. "the way he had not promised us he would" I truly hate when that inconsiderate! Just think, if that event had taken place these days you could have just thrown it up on youtube! (However, you described it so well that I had the movie playing clearly in my head!)

  5. Ha! That is hilarious! Ok, I am going to have to keep that gag in my back pocket now. Of course, texting when someone is coming home might make the whole charade that much easier :) Ya'll are too funny. If only there were video...

  6. I can always count on you for a good, thank you!! And now I have that song stuck in my head ;)

  7. Hahahaha! A belated applause to you, my friend - sounds like an amazing time! He should be sorry he missed it!

    And thanks for an extra reason to add to my why did she marry him?? list! :o)

    For Love of Cupcakes

  8. If you like that song, you'll LOVE this one:

  9. Why don't I know you in real life? It's a tragedy in my life when I read stories like this one.

  10. I can't believe you danced to that song for so long. If only you had recorded yourself.

  11. HAHAHA! LOVE IT. I just can picture it all so it any wonder we all love you?!

  12. I'm REALLY hoping to do a re-creation for your enjoyment. Truly!


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