Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Top 10 things NOT to buy if you're pregnant

Oh my gosh!  You're pregnant?  Yay!  So exciting!  I mean, yeah, being pregnant pretty much sucks, but there's gonna be a baby!  A brand new person!  All fresh and pink and not arguing yet!

Sigh.  I sure do love it when they're not arguing....

Anyway, the second you peed on the stick, you got your first free issue of American Baby magazine in the mail, amiright?

"Yay!  A magazine!  Filled with helpful information!"

Not so fast.

Every other freaking page is a freaking ad for some other freaking thing that you're gonna start thinking you freaking need and OHMYGOSH HOW ARE WE EVER GOING TO AFFORD TO BE PREGNANT AND HAVE A BABY????

Take a deep breath, my nauseous friend, because I am here to save the day, your sanity, and your bank account with.....

Top 10 things you don't need if you have a baby on the way

10. Wipey Warmer
Life's rough.  Sometimes your butt is gonna be cold.  If your baby is REALLY averse to a cold butt, use your breath to warm up the wipe or something.  But for real, can we not buy all this extra stuff?

ETA: a commenter just chimed in to say a nurse friend of hers recommends against wipe warmers because " warm moist areas with bodily fluids/solids are already a breeding ground for bacteria... No need to add to the warmth. Yuck! "  So that's something else to consider! 

this one costs $275
9. Fancy changing table
We had one.  We NEVER used it.  Okay, we used it, but not for changing diapers.  We just kept the diaper bag handy and changed baby wherever we were.  The changing table was a dust collecting toy shelf until we unloaded it onto some unsuspecting prospective parents.  Um, sorry about that, unsuspecting folks...

8. Ugly nursing dresses
This is definitely a personal pet peeve of mine- those nursing specific dresses that cost $40 or $50 but they look like something rejected from season three of Star Trek?  Yeah.  'Cause when we're 20 lbs overweight and sweat randomly throughout the day for no reason and our hair is falling out, we also want to dress like part of a "never do this" collection on BuzzFeed.

Really, don't buy those.

If you must wear a dress while nursing, just get a wrap-top or low-v dress made out of some kind of stretchy jersey knit, throw a stretchy cami (nursing or regular) underneath and voila!  Instant non-atrocious nursing attire.  Plus, you can find that kind of stuff at thrift stores, and honey, you KNOW how much I love me a bargain!

7. $400 set of matchy matchy nursery bedding
I know that HGTV and Martha Stewart and Beyonce are all in cahoots to make you feel guilty if you don't have a designated nursery space with color coordinated linens and window treatments and the letters of your baby's name embroidered onto fabric and then put into colorful hoops on his or her wall.  

Yep.  $410.97
Dude.  Your baby can barely see her own fist flailing around in front of her face.  Yes, if you want a snazzy nursery, more power to ya, but if you decide to use the money to, I don't know, refinish the front porch, then you just go on wich yer bad self.

6. Your Baby Can Read
No.  Just...don't.

Maybe if they renamed it "Your Baby Can Memorize the Shapes of Some Words" I'd let you buy it.  But even then, babies should be allowed to...wait for it....be babies.  I'm guessing YOU didn't learn to "read" as an infant, yes?  And you're, like, super good at reading now, right?  Bam.  Myth busted.

5. Special stool to use for nursing
Is this a real thing?  Google said it was but...um...really?  "Hey, I'm gonna nurse my baby but instead of buying formula and bottles apparently I have to buy special seats and special clothes and special pillows and special....."

Aahhh!  Make it stop!  Das crazy talk, yo.

4. Floating activity center
This is another thing google told me parents should buy.  It floats in the pool AND it has toys attached to it.  How much entertainment do they think babies need?  I mean, they're in the frappin' pool, for the love of pete. Do they also need Mickey Mouse to sing them a song and shoot glitter into the air?  Or whatever that toy does?  Answer: No.

3. Special " soft floor tiles" to make it "safe" for baby to play
Hello????  Have people never heard of a blanket????

2. Toys
Go ahead.  Get your baby a bunch of toys if you want.  But I'm telling you, he will only want to play with a) your phone b) your keys c) crumpled up paper d) dog poo.

Mark my words.

1. Diaper Genie
Seriously, y'all.  I totally got sucked into the hype when my first baby was on her way, so don't feel bad if you did too.  But if you did, stop buying those refills THIS INSTANT.  Because do you know what a diaper genie is?  A trash can.  With a lid.  And special "bags" that you have to buy.

You know where you can get plastic bags?  At the grocery store.  FOR FREE.

Top Ten Tuesday at Many Little Blessings

p.s. My new post is up at CE, all about how I was wrong and kind of a jerk.  You know you're intrigued!

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115 comments :

  1. I am long through the baby phase having grown children at all. But I applaud you for speaking out about all of the above items. New moms get too caught up in the "I need this/I need that hype." No, you don't "need this/that." Great post.

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    1. I think having cool stuff is cool, but I don't want people thinking they NEED cool stuff in order to survive :)

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  2. HAAAHAHAAA!!!! I didn't buy a damn thing for any of my kids. But I did get a ton of crap for free. Now I'm the queen of baby yard-sales :)

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  3. Totally agree. We never used any of our baby gear. I didn't even use a diaper bag with Nat and Justin. We had a "Diaper Decor" because it came highly recommended. We dumped that idea (no pun intended) really quickly.

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  4. haahhaah. AMEN.

    to every single one --- except we DO use the changing table --- weirdly. But it triples as a dust collector AND a dresser ---

    can you write one on subsequent baby showers? How beyond baby numero uno they are rude-o to your guest-os?

    thanks!!!!!

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  5. Man, and nothing smells worse than that damn diaper genie when you are taking the bags out. Seriously, don't buy that!

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  6. My grandparents gave us a regular ol' wooden dresser, and we bought a $15 dresser-top changing pad thing at Wal-Mart. Viola, instant changing table, and in the meantime you can use it to store baby clothes. (We found a changing table helpful because my husband has a bad back, and it's easier for him to stand up to change diapers.)

    We got two of those Arm & Hammer diaper pail things, and I gotta admit, I love 'em, special bags and all. Our first diaper pail used regular old bags, but the house got STINKY after a few months. It was gross. Since we switched, no stink!

    All 4 of mine have slept in a pack 'n' play (when they weren't sleeping with me, or in the swing). No matchey nursery stuff needed.

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    1. I just put each diaper into a grocery back and tie it up. That way the diapers get taken out with the regular trash once a day instead of once a week!

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  7. the only item on your list we purchased (well, my parents boguth for us) was the changing table... of course I did use it almost every time, as our house is tiny, and our floors are wood, and our dog is 85lbs of hyper... plus, easier clean-up for me if it was a blow-out diaper :) the rest though?? TOTALLY agree!! (well, we did have a few toys, but nothing big, and most were gifts) :)

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  8. I was SO going to write a post like this!

    BUT BUT BUT I must disagree with numbers one and two! I got a wipe warmer with number three and four and LOVE it. I totally made fun of them when we were due with number one and registering for all that other crap. then I ended up buying a used one with our third baby and now we use it. It's perfect for keeping cloth wipes moist. I say if I wouldn't want a cold wipe touching my bum at 2 a.m. then neither does my baby. Besides, when the diaper changing isn't so rough on them, it means it's much less grating to the ears on you AND doesn't wake up the other young'uns :)

    And we didn't use the changing table for actual changing until the cloth diapers came along. Then I really liked having the space to put them and organize them because they do take up more room. But we use a little dresser downstairs with a pad on top. Looks cute and can keep all the clothes and diapers downstairs rather than having to run up and down a dozen times a day cuz them babies don't keep their clothes clean. And the drawers keep little toddler hands from just making a royal mess of them. The ones with open shelves would be masochistic to my neurotic self.

    The rest, however, I love :) Diaper genie??? SOO true. Glorified garbage can.

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    1. I am liking the idea of a dresser with a pad on top. I've never used cloth diapers, so perhaps I should start, like, planning ahead or something?

      Yeah, that would probably be a good idea....

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    2. I do have to say that if you are using cloth wipes then the warmer makes more sense. Just dont put more than a days worth of wet wipes in there or else they can get moldy...yuck. But yeah, we used to use a warmer with cloth wipes since it was just water and I changed it out regularly.

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    3. You know, I haven't had the mold or stink issue at all and I can't figure out why! We don't change it every day (and now I'm feeling guilty that we should!) but they don't stink or have any grossness. I know there are solutions you can concoct with different oils and natural antibacterial stuff but we just use plain water. Huh.
      On another note, I love me some cloth wipes because you only need ONE wipe for most jobs whereas with the disposable you need like a gajillion.

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  9. A friend of mine who is a nurse advised against wipes warmers... She said warm moist areas with bodily fluids/solids are already a breeding ground for bacteria... No need to add to the warmth. Yuck!

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    1. Interesting! I was not aware of that, but I totally feel vindicated now ;)

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  10. Love it! We were given a wipe warmer for baby #1 and it is still sitting unopened in baby #2's closet. I'm thinking about selling it at our spring yard sale.

    Also, the diaper genie...I am SO glad this very honest mother stopped my husband and me in the baby aisle at Target. We were *this close* to buying it when I was pregnant with my first, but she explained to us that it wasn't worth it and it was kind of gross, too. SOO glad she told us!

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    1. Oh my gosh...I can't believe she actually stopped you to tell you not to buy it. Hilarious!

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  11. I can think of a few things I'd add to this list (clearly not understanding the "Keep the Top 10 List to, you know, TEN), but there isn't a single thing on it I'd remove.

    Oh, and regarding matching nursery furniture? This current baby doesn't even HAVE a nursery. What this proves other than we're running out of room is beyond me, but there you go.

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  12. My first pregnancy I did fall for the "we need all this stuff" gimmick, although we didn't actually get a lot of it. Second baby I knew I needed less and then with the third I just bought diapers and wipes and was handed lots of clothes from my friend. I was actually thinking about writing my own post on this subject!
    As for the changing table- we had a dresser with a changing pad on top and worked out well, extra clothes for quick changes in the drawers and I used one drawer for extra diapers and wipes and a small drawer held diaper cream and nail clippers, etc.
    Great list!

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  13. Our changing table is now our entertainment center. Top shelf- TV, bottom shelves- DVD player, Xbox and DVDs :)

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  14. OK, Dwija, now I challenge you to do a post on what you really *do* need when you have a baby. And make sure all the items can be reasonably bought by friends and family for your baby shower, so you never have to spend a dime.

    I just gave away so much baby stuff it was sick. And most of it never got used but once or twice. Like that grocery cart cover thingy and a mobile over the crib (once the baby got big enough to care about it it was also big enough to tear it down). I like your list. I can't really find fault with it. Martin made our changing table and I love it. And I have used it every day of our baby years. It was custom made to my height and my specifications. It is made out of 2x4's from Lowe's and one piece of plywood. Cost...about 20 bucks plus labor which was free.

    http://roadtopoland.blogspot.com/2011/05/rambling-post-about-moving.html

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  15. Amen! I've gone with a couple of my friends to help them register when they were pregnant with their first babies and didn't let a single one of them buy a silly wipe warmer that they're not going to use at 3am when the baby is crying and all you both want to do is get the diaper change over with already. And those diaper genies really should come with a warning about the biohazardous smell they create when you try to empty them. Bleck.
    Great post!

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  16. I've gotta say, whenever our Diaper Genie is out of commission (when we've run out of bags or it gets too full), our normal garbage gets stinky FAST, even when I put the diapers in a plastic bag first. I really do appreciate having the Diaper Genie, and I've been using it for about 2 years now. The only time we REALLY had a stink issue was when the bag that held the diapers ripped in the container. We had no idea something was wrong but could definitely smell it!

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    1. Do you use a trash can just for diapers? 'Cause yeah, that would get stinky! We just put our diapers in the kitchen trash, so they get taken out once a day. That means just 1 or 2 stinky diapers at a time in the can :)

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    2. This could be why the Diaper Genie works really well for us. When we put diapers in the regular trash, it is the kitchen trash, but it does not get taken out every day because we live in a condo with very little storage and only one trash day a week. We typically only change the trash bag twice a week if that.

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  17. Hahahahhahahahahaa! This is all soooooo true!!!!!! Love it :)

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  18. great list and all so very true. i fell into the trap on some of these for our first, but not the second. man i was peeved that i'd bought a matching bumper after learning that they aren't even safe for newborns.

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  19. Amen! Our first 2 babies came to us via the miracle that is adoption. We had little time to prepare - and no assurance that they would come at all - therefore, we had nothing beyond a car seat, diapers & wipes and some formula when baby #1 came home. We did end up getting more for her as time went on, but looking back, it was a great way to start (with the realization that babies don't need much.)
    BTW, you crack me up. I've been stalking your blog for a while w/o commenting. Keep it up!

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  20. I'm new to your blog, and I love it!

    I was young and single with my first, living in a bedroom at my parents, so I had NOTHING. Well, not Nothing, because I had everything I needed, but none of the above. With my second baby, I stopped working to stay home, so we are on a tight budget and got everything from relatives or yard sales and consignment shops. It was/is grocery bags in an old office trashcan, bed was a changing table, I never felt bad about cold wipies, and I used cheap Luvs diapers- which, I may add NEVER leaked where Pampers and Huggies do EVERY time I use them overnight. With my second we do have a changing table, that i use all the time, but it too was used and we painted it. I cannot BELIEVE they charge so much for much for it... even though it IS super cute!!

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  21. Oh so true. With this second one on the way, we've hardly bought anything (well we do have a lot of stuff already), but even with the first, we did not buy into diaper genies, changing tables, etc. And yes, kids love our phones and keys!

    Oh I must add, we did buy the soft tiles for our floor, as we have marble flooring (the toddler has hit his head on it before, not pleasant) and it's too slippery for a blanket (yup, we tried that first!).

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  22. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Love you and love this Dwija.

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  23. I love this post! And for those wondering what you do need...you do need at least fifty thousand more onesies than you have. Because the baby will poop and puke and generally be disgusting on at least 12 onesies a day. You can never have too many onesies, and even then, you'll run out on laundry day. I promise.

    Can I just add how annoying it is that everyone and their mothers give the expectant mama blankets? Seriously. We still have an entire (HUGE) box full of barely-used blankets from Sienna's baby shower, but we had to buy six gazillion onesies the week after she was born. Why? Cribs come with explicit warnings about how blankets will come alive at night and eat the baby. Why does everyone choose blankets as a gift?

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    1. Agreed!!!!!!!!!!!! So right Calah

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    2. wait a second...I need to get HOW MANY onesies?!?!??!?!

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    3. Oh dangit! I always make people baby blankets!! Well, you can totally tell I am not a parent. In the future I will save the 50+ hours I spend on those and just buy some diapers.

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    4. Well, I think a custom handmade blanket trumps a regular fleece thing from wal-mart any day! Plus, if we don't have at least a couple of blankets, what are we gonna use instead of "designer squishy floor tiles" for our babies to play on? ;)

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  24. Love this. We're expecting baby number two sometime around All Saints day, and it's been a while since I was pregnant. Definitely needed the reminder of what not to get. I was just in a high end baby boutique the other day and was nearly sucked in to the "Oh but you NEED the crib that converts to a full size bed! And the $700 stroller that doesn't even include a carseat!"

    Here is a question-baby #2 has been a long time coming and we have very few baby clothes. Is it socially acceptable to have a baby shower?

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    1. I think it would be. Our 3rd, who came 5+ years after our second, was our first boy, so our friends threw us a shower and I was so grateful just for those little odds and ends...like a million onesies :)

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  25. I second Calah. Onesies for LIFE! Especially if you're like me. Sometimes, I just can't handle the poop explosions. My husband came home shortly after our first was born and found me cutting away a crap filled onsies off our screaming daughter with kitchen scissors. He claims that I was mumbling, "there is sh@# everywhere" to no one in particular. Another time we were those parents on the side of a road with looks of horror on our faces, while one of us held the poopy child by the armpits and the other cut off the onesie. I think we left her in the cut off onsie for the rest of the ride. As I write this I'm thinking to myself, "why did we always have scissors close at hand?" PRobably because we are just that awesome at parenthood. Anyway, perhaps that is my advice to first time Moms. If you're faint of heart in the poop department, keep some scissors near that stack of onesies. PS> I can't spell onesies. Sorry.

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    1. Oh Kathleen...I laughed so hard through this entire comment! 3 gold stars for you :D

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    2. This made me laugh sort of a lot! I love that you always had scissors handy. I think that is probably the best selling point of cloth diapers...for whatever reason you do not get the up the back crazy explosions! Don't ask me why because I have no idea.

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    3. Old post but the reason that doesn't happen with cloth diapers is because they actually contain elastic, especially around the back waist area. This is why they don't fail where the disposables do.

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  26. Love love love this. I didn't buy any of this stuff except - the nursing stool. I did love sitting in the rocking chair with my feet on the stool, Just sayin'. Oh and we did buy a changing table. what a waste. Frankly, I came to believe one doesn't need "Diaper bags" Just "put diapers in a backpack, purse, plastic bag tote bag. Come on, people.

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  27. I am officially one of those old people who wonder how the heck I managed to take care of my son without the "necessities" women use today. We didn't even have Babies R Us back then. I avoid going to baby showers because I have to hold my tongue through all the gift opening.

    Curmudgeon Mom!

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  28. I love this!

    I'm pregnant with my first and I did not expect such an epic battle against BabyStuff, Inc. It's like the wedding industry, but WORSE because this isn't just "the most perfect/special/magical day of your life," but your CHILD, and don't you want them to have a warm butt and monogrammed walls?

    Also, I'm planning on breastfeeding but feel inundated with formula/bottle/pump ads. Am I missing something or can I just use my boobs?

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    1. Lol. Yeah but then no one would make money off your boobs!! A few of the things are very helpful (pump if you're going back to work, for instance), but most is junk or helpful items you'll only use until you get the hang of nursing. If you're going to be home, all you really need are some nursing pads (I recommend Bamboobies since they're reusable, hold a ton of leakage & are so soft so there's no chaffing), your boobs, some water/snacks, and a few pillows. :)

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    2. Thanks for the suggestion!

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    3. Yes, what Tori said! If you're going to be with your baby, there's nothing better than a plain old boob in most circumstances. I do know some brave and determined moms who couldn't nurse directly for some reason and had to pump exclusively, but don't assume you're gonna need all that stuff.

      And yeah, for the first few months at least, the leakage should just be anticipated and you wear some washable, absorbent nursing pads to prevent a leaky happy face on your shirt :)

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    4. Knowing that babies aren't materialistic is quite a relief.

      P.S. I wandered around your blog yesterday and fell in love. I now feel 100x less crazy for graduating PhD program, having a baby, and moving to another state all between Sept-Dec. Thanks for the inspiration!

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    5. Also, cabbage! I know that sounds crazy, but for those first couple of days after baby is born and you're engorged and wishing that everyone would stay away because if they come anywhere near your chest your going to sucker punch them. You need cabbage leaves! In your bra...they don't smell great but instant relief! Seriously, buy some cabbage.

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    6. Yes, the baby stuff industry wants you to think you need a breast pump and bottles even if you are breastfeeding... I can't tell you how many times I have bought baby gifts for people and noticed that they registered for 12 different bottles when they plan on breastfeeding. All the push and hype about baby products really irritates me, but the "what you need to buy if you're breastfeeding" lists at BRU make my head feel like exploding. In fact, lots of things they say are "needed" can actually sabotage moms' attempts at nursing. So yes, you can just use your boobs!

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    7. In response to Erica- I never had cabbage on hand, but with a newborn I always had nappies!
      A midwife from my hospital advised wetting the nappies with water and freezing, these can then be put into your bra to help with the swelling, pain and heat when your milk comes in.
      >PS, in case you're wondering I'm Australian and we say "nappies" rather than "diapers" :)

      Another thing that was rather unnecessary was the bath thermometer - although I'm a major worrier so I used one for the first few months, i really could have survived without it :)

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  29. I love this honesty! I always thought I'd definitely use a changing table and with our space limitations in NYC, I was starting to think I'd have to do without one.

    I can't believe you only have 60-ish days left. I'm super excited for new baby photos. :-)

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  30. We actually use our changing table, but it's a dresser with a pad on it, not a formal changing table. We cloth diaper, so it's just easier.

    I disagree with the nursing stool. Many lactation consultants will rave of the benefits. It helps you get proper alignment during those early nursing days & keep you comfortable while learning. That said-get one used. You'll only use it for 2ish months, anyway. Great helper, though.

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    1. I guess since I've never even heard of a "nursing stool" until today (still not quite sure what it is) and have nursed 4 babies without one, I just don't want people thinking they NEED it and if they don't HAVE it they're going to be an unfit mother or something :)

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    2. And lately the move is toward "laid-back nursing" in which the baby is kind of draped over the mother (who is reclined back on the couch with her feet up - my favorite position!), so gravity works in baby's favor and his inborn reflexes to find the nipple are triggered. No nursing stool needed for that! Although with my first, I didn't know of the marvelous laid-back position, so I used some exercise stools from The Firm workout videos that I had, ha ha...

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    3. I used to nurse my babies in a comfy rocking chair. The only problem was that my legs are short, so having my feet on the floor meant that my lap sloped down and my arms got tired, even with a pillow. It really was much more comfortable to have something to rest my feet on.....I used the dictionaries from the bookshelf. :-)

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  31. Amen!!! This post is 100 different kinds of awesome!!

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  32. Ok I agree with everything but the nursing pillows and stools :) That maaay be because my boobs are freakin' GINORMOUS when I'm nursing and anything that helps me stabilize my arms and the poor baby trying to latch onto a dinner that's bigger than his entire head and torso is my best friend. Seriously.

    And for any of those other things you just WANT for the heck of it? Craigslist all the way, baby :)

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    1. I like my boppy- so nursing pillows are in. But I had never even HEARD of a nursing stool until today! And yes, my boobs are always bigger than my newborns' heads, too...poor things :)

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  33. (10) Right on, (9) used a changing pad on the floor, (8) wore two piece outfits with a cami, (7) Amen, (6) preach it, sister (5) had a storage ottoman for resting my feet, (4) try telling that to some of our relatives, (3) true, (2) dat, and (1) we alternate cloth and disposables and take the trash out once a day.

    I did like my Boppy, and I'm totally about having my feet up and elevated when nursing, HOWEVER, my ranging hormonal Baby Blues self gave up on nursing after a mere four months, so y'all can take what I say about it with a humongous grain of salt. :)

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    1. Raging, not ranging.

      Though I might have been ranging, too. In Looney-Land.

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    2. I like my boppy, too. I left that off the list on purpose ;) But can people put their feet up on non-nursing specific things? Like ottomans? And coffee tables? 'Cause that's worked so far for me!

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    3. I kind of liked sitting cross-legged, too. Fortunately for me, my kid nursed for, like, 8 minutes 34 seconds, max, so I never lost the feeling in my toes.

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  34. Word!
    Diaper Genie= we now use the trash can and the DG is used as a doorstop
    Toys = Husband and I have now decided to never buy toys again as we have more than enough boxes and empty plastic bottles to play with.

    Also not needed: A crib right away

    baby books right out of the womb
    crib bumpers
    stuffed animals, until baby can see straight
    Shoes ..or are my kids the only ones that won't wear them?
    Super fancy stoller

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  35. Aw Man, WHY didn't you post this 12 years ago?! I probably wouldn't have listened. I have to say though, that we are now using that "nursing stool" I bought for my first, as a stepping stool for my 5 yr old in the bathroom.

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    1. Hey, at least it's getting some use! I think I'll do the opposite...just use the step stool as a nursing stool ;)

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  36. Amen! Especially to the Your Baby Can Read nonsense! That stuff drives me crazy!

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  37. Oh Dwija - can you promise me that I will still be your friend after I confess something to you? You have to promise first!

    Okay, here goes...I own TWO diaper genies and I LOVE THEM! Oh, that felt good to come out of the closet on that one. I was like you at first - I didn't register for the Diaper Genie - what??? Seriously, I thought we could just use a regular trash can. But no, my sister told me otherwise. She said - "you will want a diaper genie, you will need a diaper genie, your trash can will get so smelly without one". I doubted her, but since she had a child on the outside and I didn't, I thought...maybe she knows something. So I did it - yes, I bought one. And after a week of having it and changing Elizabeth's diapers - I bought another one! (One for upstairs and one for downstairs). Yes, the hassle of bringing the diapers upstairs or downstairs (wherever the diaper genie happened to be) was getting to me and in my post 30+ hour labor turned to c-section hormonal haze - I decided to get another one so there was one on both levels.

    And I haven't regretted it one bit. Nope! Can you not let this ruin our friendship? Pretty please!

    In all seriousness though - I identified with one of the other commenters, we don't empty our kitchen trash every day - more like every 4-5 days so those diapers would be sitting in there for awhile! So, it is super convenient (and less smelly) to empty the diaper genie once every week and half or so. Rather having them pile up in the kitchen trash and be greeted by that smell every time I opened up the cabinet underneath the sink to throw regular trash in.

    But the rest of the list above - yeah, I totally agree with all that and more! :) Love you!

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha! You are so funny! You know, I've never lived in a house with stairs. That probably helps with not needing them at all. We put EVERYTHING in the kitchen trash, so it's full by the end of the day :)

      Delete
  38. Awesome post! Gosh I could even add like 10 more to your list.

    It's thinking that we 'need' wipe warmers and other similar crap that leads to those terrible articles that come out at least once a year announcing the average cost of a baby in America is a bajillion dollars.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Great list! Spot on. I will add the following caveat to #7 - don't go all psycho with gender-specific bedding. One of the best decisions we made (fell backwards into) with our first was to go primary colors. Now we can reuse.

    Our diaper changing 'table' is also a dresser turned upside down with a pad on top. When not in use for changing diapers, it's used as a dresser.

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  40. Hahaha!!! Great list!!! Where were you when I was pregnant with my first? ;)
    P.S. I love non-arguing babies.

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  41. Funny list! I am one of the rare moms who needed the nursing stool. Seriously. It has a slight angle to it so I could sit more comfortably. My feet usually never touch the floor comfortably when I was not pregnant, let alone when I was. I had two stools. One for church (my husband was the pastor) and one for home. I could not breastfeed, hold myself up in an upright position, and still keep my privates private without falling over since my feet dangled. Great image, I'm sure! I still use one of them in the car every time I ride as a passenger. I am short. Incredibly short.

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  42. This was hilarious and informative. My mom always comments on all the stuff they try to tell new moms they "HAVE TO HAVE."

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  43. Bahaha! Dwija! This cracked me up! And being that I know like a billion pregnant friends right now... For reals though. I will be sharing this everywhere! ;)

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  44. This is perfection. I love this list. And yes, I am so glad the NUMBER 1 thing was a diaper genie! I have never owned any of these items, other than the changing table, and yes, we too dumped on an unsuspecting mother to be. Sadly, it was my own sister. She traded me for a pull out couch. Score! I don't think she ever used it either!
    As for the diaper bag - I have had 8 babies and I am notorious for not filling it. Luckily, where ever we go, there are always babies, so I bum diapers off of them, and at home, I have one of those plastic carry all things that hotel maids carry around in movies, ya know, with their feather dusters tucked in? I keep one of those in the corner of the living room with all diaper changing apparatus. Works great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome tip from an experienced mom of many! Thanks, Megan :)

      Delete
  45. Amen!!! Have you looked at the Babies R Us "must have" lists for new babies? It is a full page long. You may want to sit down before you look at it.

    Our 'changing table' was actually a Craftsman tool cabinet with a comfy pad on top. Clothes and cloth diapers in the drawers, so it was a dresser, too. Taller than those fancy dedicated things they sell in stores (both hubby and I are tall) and when the kiddos outgrow it as a dresser, it becomes toy storage. And then....wait for it...tools. :-)

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  46. Love your list! We have a dresser with a changing pad from Wally World on top. Which is nice 'cause hubby and I are super tall, but not so nice for others who want to help. We went all mixed on furniture / decor too ... Baby will just destroy it in a few short months/years, right?!? :-)

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  47. yep!!! you are totally right!

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  48. This is hilarious, and so very accurate!

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  49. I love the last one! We had a Diaper Genie, and every time we lifted the lid the smell nearly knocked me out. Then one day we ran out of the special bags and just put in a regular trash bag and threw a diaper in. And you know what? It didn't smell! I don't mean "Oh, my house doesn't smell like cat litter" smell that everyone who walks in the door can smell but you. I mean IT DIDN'T SMELL. So after that we just emptied the diapers once a day or once every other day and we were fine.

    Don't buy any fancy stuff. The world got by fine without it until now.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I love this list... and it reminds me that I started a post of the lamest baby products way long ago and never finished it, ha. As a baby stuff minimalist, I don't even own a crib. I own a crib mattress, and once my babies stop sleeping in my bed w/ me, they sleep on it on the floor, as toddlers. They're so deprived, huh? And yeah, babies hate toys. They are only happy being carried around or grabbing the magazines stashed on the low shelf of the coffee table. And they can tell the difference between older siblings' toys and "baby toys" and immediately develop a preference, smart little things! I actually have an old real phone for mine to play with (but I think they know it doesn't work somehow) AND bought some real uncut keys and put them on a real keyring...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have old phones, too! Usually they know when they're not real though, because they're clever little buggers :)

      Delete
  51. Yes! I pass. We didn't buy a single one of those things.

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  52. I found changing my babies with a cold wipe to the tushie woke them up more fully so the nursing session went all the way. It was really annoying when they'd fall asleep halfway through and then wake up 30 min later for more.

    Plus we started with twins, so we always had at least 2 in diapers at a time- we woulda filled that genie every 2 hours. Instead we were just in the habit of grabbing a grocery bag'o poo along any time we headed in the direction of the garage.

    I was surprised you didn't mention those Moses basket thingies. I actually got one with the last baby, but only because by then all our laundry baskets were in constant use for, you know, laundry.

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  53. When my babies were teeny tiny, I warmed up a wipe by holding it in my hot hand for a few seconds. Also, I cut the wipes in half because they were bigger than my babies at first. And I used the digital meat thermometer to make sure bath water was a perfect 99 degrees. My babies luuuvvvv their baths, and I'm convinced it's because the water was just right.

    Very fun post. You should do a top ten things you need, like onesies and burp cloths/cloth diapers, eyeliner (so you look alive), yoga pants etc.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Oh my word - you are so freakin hilarious! I am crying! I could so have written your list and added a few too - I am ALWAYS telling first-time moms how they don't need 90% of the stuff they think they do! Anyhoo, I stumbled across your blog after someone on the Babycenter homeschoolers board posted your article "Why are homeschooled kids so annoying?" LOVED that and now LOVE your blog! Am going to save this one as a fave for when I need a good laugh!!! You're awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  55. LOL... this is my first visit and i can't stop laughing,...i have 4 girls and i couldnt afford to many of the baby stuff the wholeworld pretends you to buy, (because they are essencial for your baby's survival), and i am so glad, and so proud i was able to make it without them like: a changing table (the bed, or the couch, or best of all, the floor, can do; and when out and about the best place to change diapers is on the lap, put the baby or toddler on your nees and you'll have the best control of them, they will never fall from there). Most of the baby and children clothes are hand me downs, (which gives me a sense of relieve when they grow out of them as i didnt have to spend loads of money), also a great second hand baby bath (that i needed, because in all the house's i lived there was never a bath tube, always showers (yes, quite weird, eh? well i live in spain and here apartments are quite tiny and showers are more common and practical) second hand strollers, bed linnen, everything! and my kids are happy anyway!.
    You are hilarious, i love your writting, and your stories. God bless you.
    I am also catholic and i try to raise my girls in the Love of God too. my eldest is doing her Fisrt Holy Communion this next may. (Excuse my english i am half spanish)

    ReplyDelete
  56. LOL... this is my first visit and i can't stop laughing,...i have 4 girls and i couldnt afford to many of the baby stuff the wholeworld pretends you to buy, (because they are essencial for your baby's survival), and i am so glad, and so proud i was able to make it without them like: a changing table (the bed, or the couch, or best of all, the floor, can do; and when out and about the best place to change diapers is on the lap, put the baby or toddler on your nees and you'll have the best control of them, they will never fall from there). Most of the baby and children clothes are hand me downs, (which gives me a sense of relieve when they grow out of them as i didnt have to spend loads of money), also a great second hand baby bath (that i needed, because in all the house's i lived there was never a bath tube, always showers (yes, quite weird, eh? well i live in spain and here apartments are quite tiny and showers are more common and practical) second hand strollers, bed linnen, everything! and my kids are happy anyway!.
    You are hilarious, i love your writting, and your stories. God bless you.
    I am also catholic and i try to raise my girls in the Love of God too. my eldest is doing her Fisrt Holy Communion this next may. (Excuse my english i am half spanish)

    ReplyDelete
  57. These are great diapers. They stay in place, are very absorbent, and do not permit leaks. These are our favorite out of all diapers. They fit so much better and don't leak nearly as often.. haven't leaked yet actually unless you need a bigger size. Good indicator!
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  61. Hello every One on this Sites, I have a testimony to share, My Name is Georgina lee am from the United State of America.Am now 54years old Am a Medical doctor in Canada, I married for about 24years ago without any child then me and my husband go for an adoption of 2kids male/female. Last years something wonderful and gracious happened to me i came across DR.OLOYE in the internet that promise to help me get pregnant which i totally disagree,,, How can i be pregnant looking my age he ask me not to worry that he only specialize on pregnancy no other. That after the job has been completed there is no any side effect, that was how he told me what to do which i did, could you believe i miss my periodical time that same Month and i was pregnant. Today am now the happiest woman on Earth,, While am i testify to this site i know there are a lot of people that are in this kind of trouble some will decide to commit suicide. Please just do and contact him for help make him to understand that Georgina lee from USA directed you, his email pregnancyspell@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  62. My name is Camille bruno Valdez my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; arewaspecialisttemple@yahoo.com, for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will either conceive in February 2014 or March 2014,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Dr Dahiru, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: arewaspecialisttemple@yahoo.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine

    ReplyDelete
  63. i can't really believe that i am with my Ex-Husband back after when he broke up with me with 4 kids i thank Dr Atakpo of (dratakpospelltemple@gmail.com) for helping me getting back my man back, My Name is Mrs Rhona Cole i am from England and my man name is Mr Alan Cole, my happiness turn to bitterness,my joy turn to sorrow,my love turn to hate when my husband broke up with me last week,i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, i was so unthinkable and i could not concentrate any more, i love my husband so much but he was cheating on me with another woman and this makes him broke up with me so that he can be able to get marry to the other lady and this lady i think cast a spell on my husband to make him hate me and my kids and this was so critical and uncalled-for,I cry all day and night for God to send me a helped to get back my man until i went to Westmoreland to see a friend and who was having he same problem with me but she latter got her Husband back and i asked her how she was able to get her husband back and she told me that their was a powerful spell caster in Africa name DR ATAKPO that he help with love spell in getting back lost lover's back and i decided to contacted the same Dr Atakpo and he told me what is needed to be done for me to have my man back and i did it although i doubted it but i did it and the Dr told me that i will get the result after 24hours, and he told me that my husband was going to call me by 9pm in my time and i still doubted his word, to my surprise my husband really called me and told me that he miss me so much Oh My God i was so happy, and today i am happily with my man again and we are joyfully living together as one good family and i thank the powerful spell caster Dr Atakpo of dratakpospelltemple@gmail.com, he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that good spell casters still exist and Dr Atakpo is one of the good spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are there and your lover is turning you down, or you have your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore contact the powerful spell caster Dr Atakpo on his email: dratakpospelltemple@gmail.com and he will answer you, i am a living testimony and i will continue to testify of his goodness in my family,he turn my family to paradise and today we are all happy together Dr Atakpo i say thank you in one million times thanks Dr.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Hello everything one,

    what a great meracle God used prophet jame to do in my life a great spell caster. it was a great wonder, do you know that i was parring for 35 years of marraige and after a friend of my recomended me to prophet jame who with his roots and herbs solve my problems and i must tell you the truth now that as i write i'm a mother what a joy this means to me and my family. if there is any body out there who is passing through the same situation please contact prophet james for your solutions. i promise you that your promblems will be solve within 3 day. His mail prophetjameshomeofanswer@hotmail.com or cell phone +2347035825346

    ReplyDelete
  65. Thanks to solutiontemple220@gmail.com for helping me and my husband to have a baby of our own, i don't know how to thank this great man. i have to post his good work on the net for people having problem to get pregnant to so that they can reach him for help. when i contact this man called priest Obom him only ask me some money to send me a parcel mix with roots and herbals drugs

    ReplyDelete
  66. My name is Camille bruno Valdez my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com , for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will either conceive in February 2014 or March 2014,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Dr Dahiru, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine,

    ReplyDelete
  67. Am Stella Robeson From London few days ago, so i emailed PROPHET AMEDE about my bad relationship condition, how my lover left me, how he was with another girl, so PROPHET AMEDE told me it would take 3 days to get my boyfriend back, i waited for 3 days, unbelievable my boyfriend came to my house asking me if we could try things out again. He broke up with the other girl and we rekindled and got back together, he now show me care and attention. PROPHET AMEDE was my last hope, my last chance after all the spell casters I tried before,PROPHET AMEDE kept his promise! he is the greatest spell caster on the internet, His email is{ amedehealingtemple@yahoo.com}

    ReplyDelete
  68. My name is Camille bruno Valdez my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com , for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will either conceive in February 2014 or March 2014,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Dr Dahiru, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine,

    ReplyDelete
  69. I have good news to share with the world today, i made a vow to my self that i will tell the world about PRIEST ONOME after he helped me with his spell that made my wife and i settled our difference. We where both married for years without issue, we visited different hospitals but nor could help us. i loved my wife so much and never intended to drive her out for a second woman. One day as we where both deliberating on how to solve our bareness we got a news from a radio station that PRIEST ONOME can put a stop to all problem with his spell so we called his mobile number and then emailed him for a solution and after all was done i and very glade to announce to the world that my wife had a set of twine 9 month later. Do you have problem of any kind and you think all hope is lost then you have a chance to met PRIEST ONOME today for help his email is: (priestonomeherbaltemple@outlook.com)

    ReplyDelete
  70. All my gratitude goes to priest Onome, for helping to have kids of my own. my husband dumped me for another woman because i could not give him what him wanted most in this life, and it was all his family doing. they were the reason my husband left me for another woman. by the grace of priest Onome,i was able to have kids for my husband, concerning my my husband family they were all happy for me at last. i want to say a very big thank you. priest ONome, if you are in any kind of problem you can contact him on this email address (priestonomeherbaltemple@outlook.com) he will put a smile on your face

    ReplyDelete
  71. All my gratitude goes to priest Onome, for helping to have kids of my own. my husband dumped me for another woman because i could not give him what him wanted most in this life, and it was all his family doing. they were the reason my husband left me for another woman. by the grace of priest Onome,i was able to have kids for my husband, concerning my my husband family they were all happy for me at last. i want to say a very big thank you. priest ONome, if you are in any kind of problem you can contact him on this email address (priestonomeherbaltemple@outlook.com) he will put a smile on your face

    ReplyDelete
  72. with the help of priest onome i got pregnant after staying for 13years of marriage without any problem wrong with my womb,have tried different hospital but they could not help until i found his email inside a testimony posted by some one on how he help her to get pregnant , that is how i gave him a try and to God be the glory am 3weeks pregnant . thanks you priest onome, contact him today if you are having the problem to get pregnant (priestonomeherbaltemple@outlook.com)

    ReplyDelete
  73. I had my first Baby through the help of a Dr UKPOYAN. i have been married for 15years without a child i and my partner has went to different hospitals to do medical check up if we are okay but our result always comes out positive that we are okay, we have waited for years trying to conceive but nothing we still have no child of our own it was like i and my partner was course never to have children in life But today through the help of Dr UKPOYAN i became pregnant last Summer and i have given birth to a baby Boy this year, i am really happy all my sadness has been turned into unlimited joy in case you need the help of this Dr just contact him via his email address DR.UKPOYANSPELLHOME@GMAIL.COM

    ReplyDelete
  74. My appreciation to priest obom that great roots and herbs man from west Africa. for the great help for making me pregnant today after 11years of barrenness and all the insult from my husbands and his family for not able to conceive and have a child for my lovely husband,i thought all hope was lost until i saw how a woman testify from Canada how priest obom of solutiontemple220@gmail.com helped her get pregnant after she has taking his roots and herbs. i don't know how to say thank you priest obom, i will forever grateful for your help. reach priest obom for help to get pregnant and have a baby of your own on (solutiontemple220@gmail.com)

    ReplyDelete

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