This is a birth story. A real story of an actual birth that happened in my home. My very first homebirth attended by a sweet and kind midwife and a fantastic husband, so if you are looking for something gentle, something innocuous, something...taupe, you've come to the wrong place. But if you don't mind a little bit of blood and a smattering of words like "tear" and "gush" and "excruciating", then pull up a chair. Crack open a beer. It's about to get real up in here.
You already know about my ridiculous abs leading a malpositioned baby which led to days and days of prodromal labor and juvenile whining. And when I say "malpositioned", I don't mean breech in any sense of that word but rather just...not perfect. A little diagonal. Almost anterior. Still deliverable by this nearly geriatric, stubborn, mom of many, but certainly not ideal.
So finally, after so many false starts, so many sleepless nights, so much waiting and wondering, it happened. A little twinge. It was Thursday night. But the twinge was so much like all the other twinges before it that I didn't know for sure if it was going to be real yet. So I did what any almost laboring woman does- I spent the evening chattin' it up with my (very real) virtual friends (You know, on the twitter. And the facebook.). And there were more twinges, more promises, potentially false, of exciting things to come.
Finally, at around 1 a.m., I figured I'd be all reasonable and stuff and force myself to try and get a little sleep just in case this was finally the real thing. Look! Proof!
But oh, oh, oh, oh, it really was time after all! So I got on Spotify and I found this fan-awesome-tastic playlist called Push It: A Playlist for Labor and Deliver. And I put on make-up and brushed my hair. And I gyrated around my living room at 3 a.m. And oh my gosh there are dishes in my sink! I can't have a baby with dishes in my sink! So I started doing the dishes.....
And then it got really real. Pause and take a breath and lean against the kitchen counter real. It was 4:40 a.m. and I knew it was finally time to wake up the hubby.
"Psssst! It's baby day!"
"Really? Are you sure?"
"Yes, totally sure. Get up and take a picture before I can't stand still for a picture anymore..."
end part 1