Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Phobia Story Time (sounds uplifting, yes?)

You know that one time when something totally tragical and scarring happened and that's when your phobia started and even though you're all adult (pretty much) and reasonable (still up for discussion), you just can't shake it?

Yeah, let's talk about mice.

I'm sure you recall the day of the Rodent Emergency (capitalized because I had to create a holiday so I could recuperate) followed by the accompanying video.  That was the day that many of you really started to question whether I should be allowed to be in charge of this house and these children.

Short answer: no.

Slightly longer answer: but I have a reason for being so terribly distraught at the sight.  A REASON, I tell you.

Story time!

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, a land we liked to call Detroit, because that's what it was called and we were clever like that, a little girl sat in a circle of about 20 other children on the floor of the foyer of the Fisher Mansion.  It was cold that day, so she was wearing a sweater.
The sweater was purple.
The purple sweater had elastic at the wrists.
Elastic, my friends.  Snug, snug, elastic.

So she sat there in the circle, her back toward the wall.  And suddenly one of the other children dropped some beads down the back of her purple sweater with elastic at the wrists.  But no one had moved.  And the beads, well the beads were defying the laws of physics by not falling straight down but rather going UP.  And around in scurrying circles.  On her back!

And then the beads tried to go down her sleeve but they hit the elastic at her wrist and couldn't escape!

And then the little girl yelled "MOUSE!"

And the mouse scurried up her arm and across her back and down her OTHER arm and hit the elastic at the OTHER side.

And children were screaming and hopping and hollering and the little girl couldn't get that freaking mouse out of her shirt...

(hold on a sec.  I need a break.  I have all sorts of weird chills and goosebumps and I'm kind of breaking out into a sweat right now.)

And then finally the mouse found its way back out the bottom of her shirt and shot across the floor back into the heater vent from which it came.

Then the girl, who was me, along with all the other children and their teacher, fell into a heap on a bench, breathless and a little trembling.

So when I see a mouse....you guys, I can feel it on my skin.  I can feel it!  Even if it is trapped in a bucket of water, all dead and dead like.

The End

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21 comments :

  1. Oh I have some mice stories too.....

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  2. Ugh. I thought mice moved outside in the summertime... apparently this is NOT so. Our rule is my husband has to deal with them all. I had one run across my bare feet at 3AM while I was doing dishes. So, SO gross. (Back story - I don't typically do dishes that early. We were just about to leave on vaca and we travel early).

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    1. And THAT is why I will never wash dishes again.

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  3. For me, it's birds. Same basic heebee jeebee feelings, but with feathers and weird eyes. My kids are embarrassed to walk with me past the ostrich exhibit at the zoo because I start to get all jumpy and squealy. Seriously, HUGE murther-farkin BIRDS! Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!

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  4. So awful. I found a roach in my shorts one time, so I feel ya. Don't ask, by the way. Still scarred.

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  5. Gulp! You are so brave! I almost fainted just reading this! And then I almost threw up. I can't handle mice. Or bats. I've had so horrific run-ins with bats. *shudder*

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  6. Not the point, but ever since I knew you were raised Hare Krishna, I've been a little jelly that you've been inside the Fisher Mansion. Always wanted to see the inside, never was able to.

    But now, right. With the mouse story? Maybe I'm ok with that.

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  7. NOOOOOOOOOOO! I hate mice. That is my worst nightmare. I feel the same way about crows (got pooped on by one in 3rd grade) and lizards (stepped on one on my walkway when I was 10 and still can feel the crunch under my feet). And then there was the gecko incident of ....last week. Gross.

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  8. Ewwwwwwww ewwwwwwww ewwwwwwww now I'm all shivery and squirmy. Thanks, Dweej!

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  9. So I offered to be the "adult" at a church camp for a week a few summers ago. In tree houses. With no electricity. With middle school girls. From the city. About the third night in, I had had enough of the squealing every time they saw a bug. So I laid the smack down. The girls bunked down, I turned off the lantern and I crawled into my sleeping bag. Only to have a mouse run across my (sleeping bag clad) legs. I kicked so hard the mouse fell out the window screen. I screamed so loud the tree house across the way heard me. And the girls were unstoppable at that point. Now, I will say, I am wat more terrified of spiders. I prayed over the tree house when I arrived, and there was not one single spider to be found until we were cleaning up Friday morning. Yes, God cares about the little things!!

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  10. BEST. VIDEO. EVER!!!!!!

    (I am a newer follower, think this whole episode predates me! LOVE the family escapade! And I feel better about giving my children my phobias.)

    :)

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  11. Methinks you need a cat: an outside cat. They kill snakes, bugs, AND mice!

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  12. I don't get flustered by much, animal-wise. I've dealt with bats, mice, millions of spiders, dead pigs, and plenty of other things. However, the thought of a mouse stuck in my shirt is just horrendous. I'm squirming in my seat, vowing to never wear elastic again.

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  13. I have (sometimes severe) panic attacks. The first one I remember was from when I was about 3 years old. (Yes, it was that traumatic!) We were visiting relatives and it was a hot summer day. No air conditioning, and playing outside. My parents wanted me to come into the house where we were visiting, but I became hysterical because... THERE WAS A HUGE (to my 3 year old mind) CLOUD OF ...GNATS!!! HOVERING RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SCREEN DOOR! To this day, I hate bugs of any kind, but especially those that hover in small clouds that I might have to walk through. Shudder!!! (ok. I am going to itch now...)

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  14. I mucked out a lot of stalls in the summers spent at my grandparents farm. seeing mice...or worse, rats, was just a daily expectation. then there was an old hound dog who used to follow us around begging for a pet All Frickin Day Long. but he was an expert rat hunter, so also necessary. One day I'd had enough of his cold wet nose constantly pressed into my hand so I said "go get that rat Buster" and off he scurried.
    And promptly returned in about 10 minutes to drop a huge dead rat at my feet.
    Good dog Buster. That'll do.

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  15. Sorry about your mouse experience. Totally get the phobia.....
    Spiders for me; found one in my belly button while showering when I was 15. Worst EVER shower scene. Parents were freaked by my screams.....
    I have an unusually deep belly button, didn't even pop out when pregnant.
    Rebekah, WI

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  16. Watched the video. So funny! Tears in my eyes. :) I'm the same way about wasps. I usually shriek and do the crazy-dance. Totally uncontrollable and embarassing. Looks like you've got some brave helpers, though!

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  17. Oh my gosh! I'm having the best time reading the back issues of your blog. I laughed til I sobbed at that video! And the toddler eating her booger, so nonchalant. I'm dying! I have a two year old girl, too, who has no shame and no doubt about herself being the cutest thing in the world. But I am so sorry about that horrible mouse experience when you were a kid. Ugh! This will sound crazy maybe, but have you been prayed with for it? Also, totally get some farm cats!

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