You know that one time when something totally tragical and scarring happened and that's when your phobia started and even though you're all adult (pretty much) and reasonable (still up for discussion), you just can't shake it?
Yeah, let's talk about mice.
I'm sure you recall the day of the Rodent Emergency (capitalized because I had to create a holiday so I could recuperate) followed by the accompanying video. That was the day that many of you really started to question whether I should be allowed to be in charge of this house and these children.
Short answer: no.
Slightly longer answer: but I have a reason for being so terribly distraught at the sight. A REASON, I tell you.
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, a land we liked to call Detroit, because that's what it was called and we were clever like that, a little girl sat in a circle of about 20 other children on the floor of the foyer of the Fisher Mansion. It was cold that day, so she was wearing a sweater.
The sweater was purple.
The purple sweater had elastic at the wrists.
Elastic, my friends. Snug, snug, elastic.
So she sat there in the circle, her back toward the wall. And suddenly one of the other children dropped some beads down the back of her purple sweater with elastic at the wrists. But no one had moved. And the beads, well the beads were defying the laws of physics by not falling straight down but rather going UP. And around in scurrying circles. On her back!
And then the beads tried to go down her sleeve but they hit the elastic at her wrist and couldn't escape!
And then the little girl yelled "MOUSE!"
And the mouse scurried up her arm and across her back and down her OTHER arm and hit the elastic at the OTHER side.
And children were screaming and hopping and hollering and the little girl couldn't get that freaking mouse out of her shirt...
(hold on a sec. I need a break. I have all sorts of weird chills and goosebumps and I'm kind of breaking out into a sweat right now.)
And then finally the mouse found its way back out the bottom of her shirt and shot across the floor back into the heater vent from which it came.
Then the girl, who was me, along with all the other children and their teacher, fell into a heap on a bench, breathless and a little trembling.