Saturday, December 29, 2012

How To Take a Shower

Subtitle: For kids with sensory issues and their exhausted parents.

If you don't have a kid with sensory issues (you'd know it if you did!) this might still be a fun idea if you're a nicer, more patient mom than I am.  For me, the special stuff only happens when it has to.  Oh my gosh, I am working on it, okay?  It's just that when I do try and be fancy, I end up setting things on fire.  But that's a post for a different day.

Right now: showering.

My boy is 5 years old.  The toddler is 2.5 and the baby is 6 months old.  High time for boy to move up to the shower so that toddler and baby can start sharing baths together instead, yes?  Well.  The boy has issues.  Sensory issues.  And when water drips from his hair onto his ears or threatens to get in his eyes or if he gets too cold or too hot, he truly loses all ability to reason and we enter the crazy realm of cat-bathing.  Or so I imagine.  How can such a human possibly take a shower?



Voila!  Regular swimming goggles would totally work, but seeing as we couldn't find any in December in Michigan, we opted for the wood-working eye protection.  And the bathing suit 1) upped the fun factor and 2) made it possible to photograph the child in his moment of glory.  Oh yes, he REQUESTED to be photographed, he was just that proud of himself.

You can also add this photo to your list of "reasons Dwija needs a bathroom renovation".  Because yes, our shower really does look like that.  Shabby chic?

So yeah, scrubbing the unmentionables and the face will be a little tricky, but trust me- it is totally, totally worth it.  You're welcome.

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24 comments :

  1. Ugh! I'm literally considering therapy for my two year old because bath time is SUCH a nightmare (so far, it's been five days and counting since his last bath: I dread them almost more than he does). Part of our problem is that we don't have a proper tub: we only have a shower stall and a small baby tub that we squeeze into it. I've tried a special "shower hat" (visor) as well as special bath toys to make the experience better... none have worked. Do you have any suggestions??

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    1. I'm gonna lay it out here super honest-like because I think that's what moms need when we're ready to tear our hair out:

      1) INFREQUENT BATHING
      I know. Johnson & Johnson corp. (et. al) really want us scrubbing all the natural oils off the kids at least once, if not twice, per day using their soap. And then they want us buying their lotions to try and mimic the oils and put them back in. And when I say "Unless he's dirty, my boy only bathes once a week" people think I'm joking or I'm a horrible person. But I'm not joking and I may be a horrible person but it's still true.

      2) SPONGE BATHS
      If the bathroom is warm enough, sometimes a soapy washcloth does the job you need it to do and saves everyone a lot of heartache.

      3) TIME
      Once these little SPD children get older, they still have the same issues, but mentally are better equipped to control their reactions to all the stimuli.

      These kids aren't being unreasonable- they actually feel things more strongly and see things more brightly and hear things more loudly than we do, ya know?

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    2. Oh Dweej, I love you. It warms my heart to see a mom taking sensory issues seriously. We didn't know about them when I was growing up so I just had to deal with them and it sucked. You're right though, that as you get older things get better!

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    3. I am so there with the bathing the kids once a week unless they really need it. I used to do daily baths but with four kids who are all small enough to need someone else to shampoo their hair, I just don't have time. However, I don't give my six year-old a shower. She takes a bath with the four year old and the boys bathe together too.

      Also, with a newborn I only do sponge baths. I don't tend to break out the baby bathtub until they are old enough to sit up on their own.



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    4. We also do once a week bathing! I have a detachable shower head so I stand all the little monkeys up in the tub, went them down with the shower head, soap them up and then rinse them off with the shower head again. It takes me 10 minutes to wash all 4 kids. Drying them off is a different beast of course. I take them out one at a time and dry them with an adult sized bath towel. Their Dad gets them dressed and brushes their teeth while I work on drying off each kids. Once they're all dry, and pj'd, it takes us at most 45 minutes. So totally worth it, especially since we only do it once a week.

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    5. OH. EM. GEE. Detachable shower head has just gone on the must-have list for our someday-soon bathroom renovation. For realz. Need!

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    6. I'm with Dwija on the not bathing too often thing. Our 4-year-old loves baths and will play in there for eons. The 1-year-old obviously needs close supervision during bath time and the longer she's in there, the more likely we are to have a slip. So, we sort of naturally gravitated toward the carefully-clean-her-butt/face/hands/neck-all-the-time-and-rarely-actually-bathe-her method, and she doesn't deal with the dry skin issues her brother had at this age, except on her face, which has to be cleaned after every meal. People used to work on farms all day and still only bathed on Saturday night.

      For the struggling parent, I would recommend Walgreens super cheap "fishing pole" set, or make your own. Don't take a bath, just fish in the bath. See if it helps to make it a fun place. Or have him fish out of the sink while you sponge bathe him on the counter. This too shall pass.

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  2. oh, that boy - of course, they are wood working eye protectors - what else would do the job??? - swimming goggles do not offer near enough protection(i.e. coverage, they fog up, they cut off your side vision) - obviously this boy has been reading up and knows which glasses to wear for what job and I'm sure Consumer Reports suggests wood working eye protection glasses for showering - duh :) - thanks for sharing, jen

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  3. Good idea! Does he like running through the sprinkler?

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    1. Surprisingly not so much, which is why the shower made me so nervous. But I think because the sprinkler makes him cold and he doesn't like being cold....?

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    2. Yes, my SPD five year old LOVES swimming but the SECOND he gets cold, he's done. Simply can't handle it. Having virtually no fat to speak of on his body doesn't help matters.

      SPD gets better as you desensitize . Crowded indoor play areas were once a no go...now, he can deal for much longer periods. Best advice I read was to NOT avoid , but provide small amounts of the trigger ( whether it be noise, lights touch, etc) over time.

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  4. We're also big fans of the goggles-and-bathing-suit hack. Also, oddly enough, if The Jude is allowed to be in the bath by himself, he'll lay on his back and float in the water, Lady of Shallot-style. I figure the water is so full of bath soap that it soaks the dirt out of his hair, right?

    Weirdo kids and their weirdo sensory issues.

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  5. I just love how proud of himself he is! Beautiful smile. Great Mom!

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  6. Oh my gosh, Dwija! Not only our boys share a birthday, but also the 'sensory' issues! Cristian had to take a shower wearing goggles for a long time. That was added to being super-sensitive to sock seams, loud noises, T-shirt tags (before they were tagless), etc. I even bought a book, "The highly sensitive child", because I was so frustrated and thought he was making stuff up just to drive me crazy. It's a great book - highly recommended.
    Happy New Year!
    Eliana

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  7. You know, getting soap in your eyes sucks, even if you don't have sensory issues. And baths are just plain more fun---my 8-year-old daughter complains about never getting to take a long, leisurely bath with bubbles, but with 4 kids to get clean, I just don't have the time for it. ;0)

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    1. My son hates baths but has been loving the shower. So weird! :)

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  8. That is a great idea. My little one who is going to be 2 hates baths also. I had sensory issues as a child too. Not fun. Mine revolved around clothing. I still obsess about the kind of sheets and clothing I own.

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  9. I wish you could hear me hollering "Thank you" from Kansas. Our almost youngest has what feels like HUGE sensory issues, and exhausting is right! Bath time is such a nightmare along with a myriad of things I just don't get. Does it ever end? On the other hand, goggles in the shower is cute and fun!!

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  10. Hi! I found your blog via Taking It On. I am in awe of the courage it must have taken to up and make such a big move. What an adventure! Curious about the sensory issues. My son is four and a half and is sooo picky about clothing. Everything hurts or itches him. He will only wear "soft" pants, refuses all jackets/sweaters/outerwear, even when cold and has sock issues as well. At first I thought it was a phase or a power struggle, but I don't know it has lasted at least a year. Starting to wonder if he has something going on....but perhaps not to the extent of your son. Would love your thoughts. Feel free to visit me at www.getrealmama.blogspot.com

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    1. Definitely sensory stuff! Mine wasn't wierd about clothing, but he was super crazy about getting anything on his hands or feet. Hated being barefoot, screamed if we would put him in the grass, etc. We did some occupational therapy for a couple of months and it REALLY helped. There is a technique where you take a soft bristle brush and rub it up and down their arms and legs and back a couple of times a day for about 10 minutes. It helps desnsitize them to external stimuli that would normally not bother anyone except a kid with sensory issues. All that can be done at home, once you learn the technique. I highly recommend checking it out. If he's a picky eater, that may also be part of the sensory stuff, and can also be helped with the therapy.

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  11. My oldest son had sensory issues also (he's now 16). We dealt with all of that. He now plays water polo for his high school, which involves lots of water in the face and eyes, and no goggles allowed. He has somehow managed to conquer that! All these are great ideas - and I assure you they do move past it as they get bigger. The removeable shower head is so great, because you can wash their hair and really control the water so it's not in their faces at all.

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  12. I love this idea! My son has Aspergers and his biggest freak outs are sensory things, too loud, too cold, too hot, etc. gonna have to try this out, not just here for the chance at the fb :)
    Lacey j

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    1. HAHAHAHA! I was just discussing what I could create as a prize for you. I'm pretty indecisive, so feel free to share hobbies, interests, favorite movies....you know. Important things like that ;)

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    2. Lol :) I'm pretty laid back, like sewing, love cloth diapers (obsessed really, I am in awe you do it with no hot water or a dryer!) have 2 kids, 5 year old and a 13 month old.. Hippie ish family, studying to be a doula, eventually will be a midwife. Can't really help you much lol, would be happy with anything, except for the suicidal mice. ;)

      Also, have you tried alva diapers? We hang dry too and they dry super fast

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