Pray for me.
See, it all started about two and half years ago when our vacuum cleaner died. Now, that one had been given to me, used, by a generous friend when I ran over the cord of a previous vacuum and my worry wart husband was all "blah blah blah, exposed wires, blah blah blah, electrocution blah blah blah, children setting themselves on fire..." So I didn't know how old it was. It was one of these:
This is the Bissell Cleanview Helix Bagless Upright.
And do you know what we got when we went to replace it? Some other thing that might last longer? No! We didn't!
Yep, we got the exact same thing. Because we are smart.
I really hope the Bissell people weren't about to propose that they sponsor me or anything, because, you guys, this vacuum cleaner is so irritating. There are three separate dirt holder thingies that have to be emptied and cleaned, one of which comes apart into three pieces. Which means there are really SIX dirt catcher things to empty. Oh wait! Seven! Because there's the allergen filter on the side, too. With 5 kids, 2 dogs, and a dirt road, every time I vacuum, I have to empty and clean SEVEN items. And the thing weighs at least 15 lbs. I would guess. And the cord comes out of the right side instead of the left. Why? WHY??? Is this a vacuum cleaner for left-handed people or something???
Now, until this machine kicked the bucket yesterday after less than three years, all of those things were just minor annoyances to me. Now when I think of them, I want to write reviews all over the interwebz telling people to not waste precious hours of their short lives cleaning SEVEN FILTRATION ITEMS every time they want to vacuum their floors.
So I polled the facebook (as usual) and started my search. Automatically: no Bissell. I know it's unreasonable, but it's like even the logo sends me into a minor panic now. And then- oy! There are so many vacuum cleaner choices out there! Upright vs. canister. Bare-bones types and vacuums with all sorts of attachments. Bagless or bagged. Beltless or belted (sounds stylish). Good on carpet, good on hard floors, quiet, loud, lightweight, heavyweight. Stop the madness.
Then I found the Hoover Platinum upright bagged vacuum cleaner with canister vacuum:
TWO vacuum cleaners for the price of one. Which is important to me because: hello, child labor.
The upright gets stellar reviews all around, and because I'm buying specifically for carpet, that makes me happy. The canister vacuum doesn't get as great reviews, but I think that's mostly because people are trying to use it on hard floors. I would just be having people use it to a) do the sofas and b) the baseboards and mouldings. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW CLEAN MY HOUSE IS GOING TO BE??? These appliances are clearly the answer to all my housekeeping woes! That's totally how it works, I know it.
I honestly can't wait.
We just ordered them today.
Are they here yet?