Yesterday, after complaining and shuffling and moping about for an obscene amount of time, I fiiiiiiiiiiinally dug out my musty, dusty, trusty running shorts and ever so slowly tied my little running shoesies. Neither has seen the light of day for almost 15 months. And then realized that there is no music on my ipod so I would have to go out and ***horror of horrors*** listen to the sound of my own terrible, ragged breathing.
Is there anything worse? That's what I thought.
Also, have you ever tried to run with a backpack on? And every step you take results in the bottom of the backpack thumping against your lower back? Well, that's almost exactly what my "run" was like except instead of my lower back it was my thighs and instead of a backpack it was my butt cheeks.
Sorry you just had to read the words "butt cheeks." Monday is hard enough as it is, amiright?
Anyway, the good news is that if you forget to put bug spray on and you run past 36 separate and distinct swampy areas, the horse flies will dive-bomb your earlobes so aggressively that you'll be unable to just lie in the middle of the road and pray that a good Samaritan with excellent eyesight and a very slow vehicle will happen upon you and deliver you unto your driveway unharmed and still breathing. Because you know what was really tough? BREATHING.
Apparently I lived, though, and I'm trying to be thankful for that fact because do you know what happened when I weighed myself this morning? Had not in fact lost 18.5 lbs overnight as anticipated. What the bleep? This getting back into shape business is so...sweaty. And time consuming. When is someone going to invent the drink beer and sing karaoke diet? OHMYGOSH, I totally just invented that. The drink beer and sing karaoke diet! It's gonna be great! I'll be skinny AND rich!
Whew. Alright, enough whining from me. The moral of this story is that I'd like to lose my 18.5 extra el bees by Christmas, which means a little bit more than 4 big ones a month. Which is about a pound a week. Is my math right? Is that doable? If I double up on the beer and the singing maybe?
p.s. Unrelated: I'm on the hunt for two copies of Behold and See level 6. If you have one or more that I could buy or borrow, send me a note. Or message. Or smoke signal. Muchisimos gracias!