Monday, August 19, 2013

Former Runner Whines

Yesterday, after complaining and shuffling and moping about for an obscene amount of time, I fiiiiiiiiiiinally dug out my musty, dusty, trusty running shorts and ever so slowly tied my little running shoesies.  Neither has seen the light of day for almost 15 months. And then realized that there is no music on my ipod so I would have to go out and ***horror of horrors*** listen to the sound of my own terrible, ragged breathing.

Is there anything worse?  That's what I thought.

 Also, have you ever tried to run with a backpack on?  And every step you take results in the bottom of the backpack thumping against your lower back?  Well, that's almost exactly what my "run" was like except instead of my lower back it was my thighs and instead of a backpack it was my butt cheeks.

Sorry you just had to read the words "butt cheeks."  Monday is hard enough as it is, amiright?

Anyway, the good news is that if you forget to put bug spray on and you run past 36 separate and distinct swampy areas, the horse flies will dive-bomb your earlobes so aggressively that you'll be unable to just lie in the middle of the road and pray that a good Samaritan with excellent eyesight and a very slow vehicle will happen upon you and deliver you unto your driveway unharmed and still breathing.  Because you know what was really tough? BREATHING.

Apparently I lived, though, and I'm trying to be thankful for that fact because do you know what happened when I weighed myself this morning?  Had not in fact lost 18.5 lbs overnight as anticipated.  What the bleep?  This getting back into shape business is so...sweaty.  And time consuming.  When is someone going to invent the drink beer and sing karaoke diet?  OHMYGOSH, I totally just invented that.  The drink beer and sing karaoke diet!  It's gonna be great!  I'll be skinny AND rich!

Whew.  Alright, enough whining from me.  The moral of this story is that I'd like to lose my 18.5 extra el bees by Christmas, which means a little bit more than 4 big ones a month.  Which is about a pound a week.  Is my math right?  Is that doable?  If I double up on the beer and the singing maybe?

p.s. Unrelated: I'm on the hunt for two copies of Behold and See level 6.  If you have one or more that I could buy or borrow, send me a note.  Or message.  Or smoke signal.  Muchisimos gracias!



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31 comments :

  1. See Beer Run 5K and Cardioke. Both are things.

    Best of luck with your weight loss journey.

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  2. Ah! TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. Been there...

    One thing that worked for me, post-Benedict - really, really long walks. I took a few 4-5 mile walks a week at a decent clip and it really got my heart back in shape, which made the transition into running that much easier. (Of course, we were living in Oregon at the top of a steep hill surrounded by other steep hills, so that maaaaaaybe had something to do with it.) I don't know if you can slip out for an hour at a time or not, but it definitely helped me.

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  3. When you do the beer and karaoke workout video I will buy one!

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  4. While your version sounds like far more fun, I'm doing the Trim, Healthy Mama eating plan. Look it up on Amazon if interested - the weight is sliding off! Sure, I'm working at it. But I eat really, really well while doing so! :)

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  5. I don't believe you have 18.5 pounds to lose. I say you call it extra padding for the cold winter ahead and let it be.

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  6. Ha I'm hunting Behold and See 5 and Math U See Epsilon. Is there a used homeschooling book swap website somewhere that I can't seem to find?
    I swore the day I hit my 6 wk pp mark I'd already have my running shoes tied and ready to hit the pavement. My husband coached me they this labor saying "the sooner you get this baby out, the sooner you can run again." I'm now 15+ wks pp and my shoes still haven't seen the light if day. Ugh. I just can't get motivated yet. Plus my hubby seems to like the extra weight on me. Who am I to deny him?!

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    1. Have either of you tried cathswap yahoo group? I have found most of my homeschool needs for next year there, used, at great prices! Hope this helps!

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  7. Hey, we should run together! I need to get in shape and you will get an awesome self esteem boost from running with me because I am a complete slug. :)

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    1. Hehehe "a complete slug" too funny!

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  8. In the same boat here except with an ugly hypothyroid problem that makes it seem impossible. I started running earlier this year and am slowly increasing my distances. Hope to be able to fit winter clothing somewhat. Don't want to repeat the sweats from last winter:(

    Is it me or is running quite addictive?

    Also, I'm fairly new to your blog but very glad to have found it.

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  9. This just became reason #374 that you are a better woman than I. I only run when I'm being chased. Just sayin'. There are plenty of healthful activities that I consider worthy, and just as soon as I get my act together I'll go pursue one, but running is not now, nor will ever be on the list.

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    1. I always tell my friends "if you see me running, then you better run too...don't ask questions, just run, because there's a bear".

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  10. My ragged breathing is the reason I listen to music (or books on tape!) while running too. Somehow I feel more out of breath when I can hear how out of breath I am.

    I'm 7 months 'post-partum' with my second (that's a thing, right?)and I run to lose weight because it's less time consuming than other exercise. And I'm lazy. And cheap. Plus, ya, it's addictive.

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  11. I don't like beer or karaoke, but they sound better than running any day. Good luck with that, you are a better woman than me.

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  12. It sounds totally dumb but... there's a reason why Indians and pioneers had feathers popping up from their headpieces/hats. Deerflies and horseflies and whatever Stinging Awful Flies go to the highest thing. You could run with anything over your head and they'll go for it... even a stick in your ponytail.

    Nasty flies were stinging everyone in my parents' pool and guess who didn't get stung? ME. I was holding a pool noodle straight up, sticking about a foot taller than my head. Flies were swarming around the top of it but they left me alone.

    You.are.welcome. :P

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    1. And I'm Mariel, not William. :P Let's be real... my husband accesses the internet for Skyrim cheats and sports. I manage the rest.

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    2. If this works I am going to be wearing a stick in my ponytail for the rest of my days.

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  13. If you produce a video training for the beer and karaoke I'd ditch Jillian and kettlebells real quick for your program.

    Cheers.

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  14. I just fell over laughing. All that is what I have to look forward to when "the boxes are all unpacked." Cause yeah. That's my excuse.

    I will go on your diet. I will go on it in a heartbeat. Can we do some kind of pyramid scheme or something?

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  15. My husband and I laughed out loud at the backpack description. As I'm sitting here sweaty from Zumba class. Where I'm the most awkward person ever. But it keeps me moving and I like the music. And my best friend makes me go.

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  16. You had me at butt cheeks.

    Believe it or not, I have a solution to the evil deer fly issue. I wear a cap with two or three strips of painter's tape around the crown. My hubby paints it with Tanglefoot. Then when those nasty little beasties dive bomb me they get stuck to my hat and DIE DIE DIE! Bwahahaha! Then I can concentrate more on being a weapon of mass destruction than the fact that my thighs are whispering 'nacho nacho nacho' when they rub together.

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  17. For the record, this was apparently an awful week for running in Michigan. I've been training for months and had a fantastically bad run, and I know of others who couldn't finish theirs. To try running at all after a long hiatus? You definitely get hero status. And at least you didn't get attacked by a bear...

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  18. Oh. My. Goodness! I am peeing myself! Seriously, I laughed so hard that I peed myself. (Thank you children who formerly took up residence in my uterus.) The butt cheek thing, yeah been there. I am totally on board for your diet, but I don't like beer...I choose wine, or cosmos, or both. Ok?

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  19. I don't know where you're hiding this 18.5 pounds you speak of....you'll likely tell us it's in the flapping butt cheeks but I seriously doubt it. Ok, I think I just needed to type 'butt cheeks' after literally snorting out loud when I read this and nearly waking my napping bambinos. Just another reason I love you and your blog and the fact that you put on your running shoes. You go, Mama.

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  20. Oh my goodness, getting back into shape is so freakin hard, if we lived a leeetle bit closer we could have some sort of support group or something.

    After I have B I lost 20 lb in 4 months doing Jillian for the whole 30 days and weight watchers. I was a tad miserable (especially with the dieting) so I am not actually recommending it, just stating that it did happen so it is possible ? I don't know. You look awesome and you are awesome and go easy on yourself. Ok that's all!

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  21. I am right there with you. I have 18.5 pounds to get down to the heaviest weight I can be and still fit in my non-maternity clothes, 28.5 to get to where I actually look really good in them.

    I am using blogilates.com's beginner calendar (Day 9 today) for my resistance training, and then doing either 20 minutes of High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) or 40 minutes of walking most nights. I have printed out the blogilates calendar and I note my weight and whether I did any late-night snacking (my chief failing).

    Diet-wise, I am trying to stick to eggs for breakfast, and veggie-based foods for lunch and dinner, apples and PB for snacks. Avoiding sugar. Having carbonated water helps me avoid soda. Making "shakes" from a frozen banana, ice cubes and a bit of soy/rice milk helps me not eat desserts filled with sugar and dairy.

    You probably don't need to be as restricted...but I have been trying to lose the same weight for a long time and going halfway isn't doing it.

    Good luck!

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  22. Totes doable! I need to jump on that wagon with you. Sigh.

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  23. The sweaty part is the worst part about getting in shape. That and trying to stay alive..

    Sign me up for the beer and singsongs. That's way more my style, though equally as sweaty because I'm a nervous wreck!

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  24. Since most of us are feeling in the same boat....."we're going to need a bigger boat"....but we'll get a smaller one after we're all fit and happy singing karaoke and drinking beer. Best wishes on your workouts. Thanks for sharing. I'm trying to stay accountable to my beastly workouts over at Annery at Home too :)

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