Sunday, March 16, 2014

Mass Chatter

Imma get an A++ for elementary faith formation after y'all read this...

Paul: wait...what is that thing he's showing us?

Me: (whispering) It's called a monstrance.  The Eucharist is really Jesus' body, so we can...

P: Jesus' POTTY?!?!?

Me: (quizzically) um, yes?  His body is...

P: Jesus had a potty?!?!?

Me: (still trying to whisper) Yes!  He was really born on Earth and had a real body and he asked us to eat His body...

P:(hysterical with laughter..) Eat his potty!  Hahahahahahaha!  Jesus wants us to eat a potty!!!!

Me: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!  BBBBBBBBB-ody.  With a "B."  B-O-D-Y.

P:  Oh.  Body.  *sigh*

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  1. Boys. **SIGH**

    I'm looking forward to this exact convo in a couple of years. It *has* to be an improvement over my experience at Mass today which involved a bloody tongue (with requisite scream of bloody murder), loud obnoxious chatter, actual brother wrestling on the floor, and finally, a water fight with the drinking fountain in which a a few elderly parishioners may or may not have been drenched upon their exit after Mass. Like I said, pretty me anything is an improvement over that.

    Thanks for the giggle, D. I needed it.

  2. One of my sons asked me if God ever farted. I did not know what to say. I mentioned it to a friend, and she was offended, on God's behalf, I guess. I told her my boy was just trying to draw near to God in his own way. As high as the heavens are above the earth, and all.

    1. Hey, Jesus was FULLY human. And fully God. So yes, despite your friend's indignation, I'm going to say that he did in fact fart. Hah! Making myself laugh!

    2. He absolutely, positively farted. And he was fully human. So when he was a little boy and he farted, he absolutely, positively laughed about it. And I'm sure Mary looked at him reproachfully, while inwardly she giggled like mad.

  3. I still recall our oldest, some years back, shouting excitedly at the Major Elevation, "Jesus is coming! Jesus and Harry Potter!"

    When I questioned him later, it did make sense. He assumed that, since Jesus has to come to us somehow, he'd fly in for the Consecration. And if was flying in, why not bring Harry Potter along since he has a flying broom. The logic of the small, pre-rational child.


  4. My kids once asked me what the difference was between a condo and a condom. They had overheard other kids on the bus talking.. My response was, some offer protection, one I sell,one I don't (I'm a Realtor). End of discussion they seemed satisfied.


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