The good news is that everything seems to be coming together- all my ridiculous visions and pre-baby plans. The bad news is that despite my record-shattering size and my seemingly fail-proof labor day theory, I am not feeling laborish at all. Oh, I've had some laborish moments in the last couple of weeks, sure. And some crying for no reason and some comalike sleepiness. But he's just....not cooked yet. I can tell. Even though I am 13 pounds over what I was on Mary's delivery date, I can still tell.
Ready for the jaw dropping photographic evidence of me gaining over 50 pounds already this pregnancy?
So sorry for the terrible quality of this photo, y'all. I just did not have the energy to keep focusing and snapping and angling and trying again and again to get all the things correct. Maybe we can pretend this was lifted off of some security camera footage or something cool like that.
Oh! And let's not forget that I COULD, maybe, possibly, actually only be 37 weeks, too. Which means we COULD, maybe, possibly, actually be looking at the second week of June and oh, my swollen feet are not at all even tiny bit stoked about that. My one and only consolation if that happens is that it will prove that I was right all along about my version of the dates and fancy pants ultrasounds can bite me. But will that be consolation enough? Time will tell, my friends. Only time will tell.
p.s. please feel free to provide for me your tested water-retention-abatement procedures, tips, and tricks. Because these sausage feet are 17 kinds of terrible.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
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I'm sorry for your sausage feet. I still want to win the baby pool so I'm sticking with the whole he'll be here on Monday thing. And I think you look lovely. Really. Yes you have a belly. But, um, you're carrying a human of unknown size and gestational age. A belly comes with the territory. Keep wearing your belly contraption and keep on keeping on. Until Monday. Then he could/should be on his way to meet you face to face. (Or I could be totally wrong but let's say I'm not and we'll go from there.)
ReplyDeleteBest remedy for the swollen feet is hang out in a swimming pool. Not sure how practical that is. Maybe a gym has an indoor one somewhere. But be prepared when getting out of the pool gravity will smack you back to reality pretty quickly but the weightlessness is pretty awesome to get some relief from the swelling
ReplyDeleteOh I feel your pain. I gained 59 lbs. Retained water like a boss. I seriously didn't even look like myself at the end, I was so swollen. The thing that helped my feet the best was actually walking. Counter-intuitive and torture but it worked.
ReplyDeleteMagnesium will help w/ the swelling. You get the chelated magnesium (not magnesium oxide) and take about 400mg/day. Helps w/ swelling and w/ increased blood pressures.
ReplyDeleteYou make a very pretty pregnant lady :)
Eh. Do what I do and wear compression socks. You can buy them from Amazon or Wags.
ReplyDeleteY'know, you look *really* good. I mean, if you take away the baby, you could be the same as ever. It really doesn't look like you've gained all over, just in the baby-al area. I bet you look non-pregnant from behind. And don't tell me otherwise, because you're just biased and wrong. :-)
ReplyDeleteI feel guilty for asking, since I'm pretty sure it's on the top ten list of things to never say to pregnant women, but I feel like it might be OK since you talked about it before?? - did you ever end up having the ultrasound to confirm whether there is 1 baby or 2?
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I am incredibly impressed by how pulled together you still look (and wearing real clothes!) I'm not sure if I wore (or fit) anything besides my husband's gym shorts and a tank top after 36 weeks with my 9 lb 13 oz babe!
You look great! Dandelion tea, Natural Vitality Calm, feet up, lots of water, b-complex, coffee and other diuretics.
ReplyDeleteYep, dandelion tea is a great diuretic, it is also high in potassium which tends to be lost through diuretic use.
DeleteYou are beautiful, Dwija, sausage feet and all. You go, mama - you're doing great!
ReplyDeleteYour belly shots just always make me smile.
ReplyDeleteOh honey, just buy a cabbage & wrap the raw leaves around your ankles overnight w/tape. We've used that with nursing moms w/ inflamed breasts & older pts w/congestive heart failure. I've never had a pt tell me that it failed. Used it on my mom too. And, if it doesn't work, you can always just cook the cabbage :-)
ReplyDeleteYou look lovely. I went to 42 weeks with #2 and was all cauldron-shaped and would've killed to look all pregnant-elegant like you :)
ReplyDeleteA pedicure and some Lush foot scrub did wonders, at least mentally, for coping with swollen feet.
Coffee seemed to be the culprit for my swelling feet (and ankles...and legs). Too much caffeine and the body panics and says "I'm dehydrating! Must. Retain. Water." I'm going to try that cabbage trick. Also, I took a homeopathic remedy made from salt (natrum muriaticum 30c) that reduced the swelling a ton. It comes back during the day but at least I'm waking up with ankles.
ReplyDeleteAnd you look lovely.
D-day for me is June 3 (scheduled c-section at 39 weeks) but he might decide to come earlier. I'll be amused if we end up the same day.
my mom made me cucumber smoothies after my 22 hour labor with my firstborn left me 4 bags worth of IV fluid swollen. It was grotesque. Anyway, it's gross, but cucumbers have amazing diuretic properties! Just hid the flavor in some kale. ;)
ReplyDeleteNo suggestions. Just letting you know that despite how you might feel...you look really really great!
ReplyDeleteKeep your feet above the level of your heart. So relax on the couch, set those feet on the arm or a big pile o' pillows, and be waited on for a while. Try to do this a few times throughout the day if you can. You have big kids, it's feasible, right?
ReplyDeleteSeconding the magnesium. I love the powdered stuff. Helps me get good quality sleep, too. Also, very very important to eat enough protein. Make sure your intake is way way up there - 70+ g/day. It will help with swelling, and it'll help stave off pre-eclampsia if that is a concern.
ReplyDeleteI think you look fab, Dweej. Hang in there. :)
My feet are all sorts of sausagy too right now. My "Trick" is to not look down! If I don't see the sausage feet, I can pretend they don't exist. I'm 38 weeks this weekend and can also tell this little one is not ready to go anywhere.
ReplyDeleteHope I'm not repeating a suggestion. Put a handful of frozen strawberries and ice (I buy bags if ice from Sonic) in a blender with 2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar and some sweetener. Blend until you have a slushie. Drink twice a day or even more. Expect to pee! 🚽😉. I sometimes add coconut extract or vanilla. You can use lemon or lime juice instead of vinegar, but I don't think it works quite as well. Also starting the day with fresh squeezed lemon juice in really hot water and a touch of sweetener helps too. Works best if you do it before you eat breakfast.
ReplyDeletePs. I think your baby might weigh 50 pounds because the only part of you that looks pregnant is your tum! I can only dream about having a thin face and arms when I'm pregnant ( and for too long afterwards....)😥
ReplyDeleteAgreed 100% with the above comment- you look fabulous!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how "all belly" you are - I feel like I'm swollen everywhere *and* have a big belly. You look lovely. No suggestion for the swollen feet though I might try some of the suggestions here in the comments. Mostly I just go around barefoot and wait patiently (ha) for mid-June to arrive.
ReplyDeleteThis will probably be of little comfort but it helped me a little in my last pregnancy....i was looking up how to not retain water and get that "puffy face preggo" look, but instead read that it's actually a GOOD thing....retainingwater lubricates your joints and makes you squishier for birth to make it hopefully a little easier for you and the baby!
ReplyDeleteSooo, my date guess was wrong. But I still can't understand how you look so beautiful while having such a huge baby! I mean, it's a medical marvel! I really pray he comes sooner rather than later for you, the only that helps me with the water thing is completely eliminating salt and that just makes me miserable...so away puffy I go!
ReplyDeleteAre you sore in your inner thighs/groin area. I am so sore there...like I've been doing squats all day long! I don't remember being so sore for the others and I still have about 3.5 weeks to go!
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful and are all belly. True story! Anytime you post a pic on Instagram you do not look preggo at all. I look preggo ev-er-ee-where when I'm pregnant (face included). And, it's no bueno. But, you look great! I feel you on the swollen feet too (read earlier about me being visibly preggo ev-er-ee-where.). Drinking lots of water and swimming helped with my swelling, but not as much as I would have liked. Prayers for you in these last days (or maybe last few weeks?).
ReplyDeleteJust don't try acupuncture. My friend was told it was fab for water retention but guess what? She was so over-inflated that everywhere the needles were put in she just sprung a leak. The acupuncture person got a bit panicky and admitted failure :-). And I'm so sorry but nobody is ever going to convince me that a NFP expert like yourself is wrong about when you got duffed up, so yeah, 37 weeks but looking at your previous baby stats you seem to trend toward 38 so nothing at all to worry about. Just, you know, avoid needles so you don't pop.
ReplyDeleteYou may already be doing this, but the 400mcg of magnesium, along with bucketloads of lemon/cucumber will help get rid of that water.
ReplyDeleteSorry, lemon/cucumber WATER
DeleteI love that the top of your head is floating over the top of your head. ;)
ReplyDeleteCucumber water! It is refreshing and cucumber is a natural diuretic. Put your feet up and drink cucumber water!
ReplyDeleteMy mom always swore by putting a little lemon juice in her water for fluid retention. And I find that sugar is what makes me swell.
ReplyDeleteSomeone suggested hanging out in the pool. Even if that doesn't help the swelling, it's the most blissful place for a third trimester woman to be EVER. Weightlessness is fantastic!
Only belly pics? No sausage feet pics? ;)
ReplyDelete