Tuesday, January 03, 2017

Tiny everyday, every day, miracles

Howdy! I'm glad you're here.  
This post probably contains run-on sentences, sentence fragments, 
affiliate links, and unnecessary ellipses.  If none of that bothers you, let's be friends.


I'm going to take a break from the interview questions today because my brain is taaaaaaaahrd.  But I swore to myself and to y'all that I would post every day for 12 days, so I'm doin' it!  Imma just tell you about my day, bloggy style.

Today was Tommy's first day back at work since the 23rd. We've started back to school. And the gloom factor outdoors was set at level 11. So predictably, of course, yes you guessed it, our refrigerator was bare-bones empty.  Like, me randomly eating sautéed mushrooms dipped in jarred spaghetti sauce for lunch  empty. 

Plus I guess there's some kind of winter storm blowing in tonight and lasting all day tomorrow, so a Wednesday shopping trip would be an even more worserer idea.  I mean, first world problems alert and all that. But really. No me gusta el store-o del grocerios.

So I get JC down for his nap, bribe Mary with viewing of the glowing rectangle of happiness if she will stay home with her big sisters, and load Paul, Ceci, and Helen into the van. "Don't forget the shopping bags, don't forget the shopping bags, don't forget the shopping bags..."

I forgot the shopping bags.

Too late to turn back. Breathe. You can just buy a few more. Breathe. What's six cents a bag when you're saving $80 on the trip? ( Aldi, I love you.)

Driving, driving...gah! In the spirit of forgetting things, I've also forgotten the baby carrier. Thiiiiiiiiiiis is not going to be good. It's naptime, remember? My saving grace was going to be the Ergo in which sweet Helen would slumber peacefully while we shopped. Now she's gonna be cranky and awake and trapped in her car seat and the car seat is gonna be taking up mega space in my cart and where is the stuff even going to go and what about that she's gonna cry the whole time?

A distinct feeling of despair is settling in...

"Jesus, I'm gonna need your help. You want me to feed all these kids, but this trip feels really hard and maybe like it's not actually gonna happen at all. Just...make it all better. And give me eyes to see your hand at work!"

Now this is a really hard prayer for me to pray because what I'd rather do is dig deep into my frustration and irritation and create for myself a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy situation.  I can slather myself in my white martyrdomThen when my husband gets home in the evening, I can make him feel super guilty for....not being the one that has to go to the store?  Or something?  Look, it doesn't actually have to make sense in order for me to really wanna do it, know what I'm saying?

So I said my prayer.  And we got to the store and

-parking space close to the carts
-41 degree temps despite gloominess
-elder two children not bickering
-baby awake but not too angry
-store not crowded
-somehow items fitting in the slim space between the bottom of the carseat and the bottom of the cart (I had the seat sideways in the main basket so there would be no chance of a freak carseat-falls-from-grocery-cart accident.  No gracias.)
-lady stopping me in produce to tell me how beautiful my baby is
-speed shopping like I've never speed shopped before despite more than zero kids in tow
-only one person in front of me in line who was already finishing up her transaction when I pulled up
-Helen only squawking a tiny bit every 5 minutes or so
-no stink-eyes or weird commentary while we bagged our sixteen thousand seven hundred and forty items 

Maybe all of these things could have happened and I could have not noticed them in all their goodness and I could have instead clung to my Misery Certainty(tm).  Maybe.  But He answered my prayer.  He gave me eyes to see His hand at work.  All the tiny everyday, every day, miracles.         
  
Helen says "hi!"





 

Posting for the 12 days of Christmas...
12 in 2016 (a photo year in review)
Stuff That Makes My Life Better
Where did all these children come from?!?!
Homeschooling High School
I Dream of Houses
Dollah Dolla Billz
Wood Shed, Wood Box, Wood Stove: heating with wood in Michigan
"Tra-diiiiiiiiiiiition!"

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17 comments :

  1. Replies
    1. THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME SOLVED MY URGENT CRITICAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
      I dont know how to really thank Dr. Keke Odin for what he did for me. My Name is Anita Kelly from Los Angeles, i was dating this man who i loved very much for over four years now without any problem in our relationship. so at a point he changed so suddenly after returning from the office and started behaving so strangely. it even got to the extent that he told me it was over and i should never call him again. This was a person that loved me with everything that he had. When i told my friend jenny what happened, she introduced me to a great spell caster called DR KEKE ODIN, the chief priest of all spell caster.a At first sight this man told me all my problems that it was his secretary that used a charm on him. Dr KEKE ODIN told me not to worry that he will help me solve the problem. The following day, i was in the house in a sober mood when i first received a message from my boyfriend that he was very sorry and before i dropped the phone, he called me again to say he is on his way home and that he was truly sorry for everything. To my greatest surprise, one week later he engaged me and we got married. All Thanks to KEKE ODIN. You can contact him through the following means

      Email: greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

      Mobile Number: +1 386-336-9876

      website: http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com


      THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME SOLVED MY URGENT CRITICAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
      I dont know how to really thank Dr. Keke Odin for what he did for me. My Name is Anita Kelly from Los Angeles, i was dating this man who i loved very much for over four years now without any problem in our relationship. so at a point he changed so suddenly after returning from the office and started behaving so strangely. it even got to the extent that he told me it was over and i should never call him again. This was a person that loved me with everything that he had. When i told my friend jenny what happened, she introduced me to a great spell caster called DR KEKE ODIN, the chief priest of all spell caster.a At first sight this man told me all my problems that it was his secretary that used a charm on him. Dr KEKE ODIN told me not to worry that he will help me solve the problem. The following day, i was in the house in a sober mood when i first received a message from my boyfriend that he was very sorry and before i dropped the phone, he called me again to say he is on his way home and that he was truly sorry for everything. To my greatest surprise, one week later he engaged me and we got married. All Thanks to KEKE ODIN. You can contact him through the following means

      Email: greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

      Mobile Number: +1 386-336-9876

      website: http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com

      Delete
    2. HOW I GOT MY MAN BACK
      i just want to start this way by giving a huge thanks to this man DR. UGO ANDREW for what he has just done in my life and my family . At first i thought it won,t work because many has failed me before but on a second thought i said let me just try and to my best surprise Harris my husband that said and insist he has nothing to do with me and my family again called me immediately this great man DR. UGO ANDREW of generalspelltemple@gmail.com cast a love spell on him and started begging for forgiveness. Well i love him so much and at once i accepted him back and today we are both living in pace and harmony, all the glory is to this man DR. UGO ANDREW of generalspelltemple@gmail.com DOC I THANK YOU once again for you are worthy of all the praise and thanks. forever am grateful and shall ever be to you . i also want to say if you are out there passing through any relationship issues you can contact him today and i strongle believe he will also help you out. once again you can contact him through the following way

      Email Address: generalspelltemple@gmail.com

      WhatsApp Number: +1 (518)855-8371

      Facebook page: www.facebook.com/generalspelltemple



      HOW I GOT MY MAN BACK
      i just want to start this way by giving a huge thanks to this man DR. UGO ANDREW for what he has just done in my life and my family . At first i thought it won,t work because many has failed me before but on a second thought i said let me just try and to my best surprise Harris my husband that said and insist he has nothing to do with me and my family again called me immediately this great man DR. UGO ANDREW of generalspelltemple@gmail.com cast a love spell on him and started begging for forgiveness. Well i love him so much and at once i accepted him back and today we are both living in pace and harmony, all the glory is to this man DR. UGO ANDREW of generalspelltemple@gmail.com DOC I THANK YOU once again for you are worthy of all the praise and thanks. forever am grateful and shall ever be to you . i also want to say if you are out there passing through any relationship issues you can contact him today and i strongle believe he will also help you out. once again you can contact him through the following way

      Email Address: generalspelltemple@gmail.com

      WhatsApp Number: +1 (518)855-8371

      Facebook page: www.facebook.com/generalspelltemple

      Delete
  2. Oh man... the dread of forgetting the carrier is SO REAL. Glad it worked out!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think this must be a thing many mothers do....Misery Certainty. I realized the other day that I probably can attribute most of my unhappiness to this one trait! When I stop it and just ask for Grace and admit my weakness, the situation is manageable, sometimes even very good. I have to admit that even though it is awful and ruins my day, Misery Certainty has an addictive appeal. Thanks for posting! -FarmAndAway

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is such a beautiful, inspiring story! And so relatable, down to the temptation towards passive-aggressive weirdness with the husband about having to go shopping ;)

    I'm going to remember this prayer when I have to do my next shopping trip!

    ReplyDelete
  5. One of my "goals" this year is to have better eyes to see God's hand at work. I love your prayer and I'm going to try to remember it when I'm feeling Misery Certainty!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Doesn't this just make you want to listen to Sarah McLachlan? I use those giant Ikea Bags for our Aldi trips. And I immediately put them back in the car just to be sure I don't forget them, because I have been there too!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dave is always telling me to not do the self fulfilling prophecy of doom thing. It's so easy to slip into! I love the prayer you prayed, and the point you made that even if all those things had gone right, had you not asked for the grace to see it, you still could have walked out miserable and overwrought about it all. So good Dwij. Its' been so fun to read you every day lately!

    ReplyDelete
  8. HI HELEN!!! I'm so glad you are writing again...so many of my long time favorite blogs have gone silent (including mine, ahem) but I miiissseeedd you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Helen is so darned adorable! Look at that gorgeous smile!

    I need to ask for grace far more often than I do. The trap of feeling Righteously Wronged is so ridiculously and dangerously attractive. Jesus, smack me upside the head, wouldja?

    ReplyDelete
  10. I love Aldi and I always forget the bags too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for being real and for a great reminder to look for ordinary grace every day, which can be extraordinarily hard to do in every day life!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, this was so beautiful. I loved it. And Hi Helen!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi Dwija- I've been reading your blog for years, but have never commented. I just wanted to say I'm SO happy you're back! This was beautiful. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  14. "Look, it doesn't actually have to make sense in order for me to really wanna do it, know what I'm saying?"
    I do and more power to you for still praying the prayer and seeing the answer given! Solidarity.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The interview question posts are good. Really good. But this? Pure gold. I love your prayer and I intend to learn to use it. Seeing His hand at work is such a blessing! - nancyo

    ReplyDelete

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