Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Like Gretel, but Smellier

Two days ago, I wrote this, word for word, in an email to Rhonda (who blogs at A Naptime Novelist):

I was JUST going to call you back, and then Ceci woke up from her nap. Which wasn't a nap, but rather something of a poop fest. Mostly in the potty, but then she decided (you're excited to hear about this, aren't you?) to get up and walk around when she was done, thereby leaving a trail behind her. Like Gretel of Hansel and Gretel fame, but much smellier. And then some, apparently, got stuck to her foot. And the foot was on the floor. Then on her pants. Then on her blanket.
 Happy happy happy times!
 And all that!
 I'm smiling!
 And stuff!

 So.

Now you know what kinds of awesome things I regale people with via email.  Jealous, right?

Unrelated photo time!

Heart. Melting.

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18 comments :

  1. We had one of those incidents recently.
    Ahem.

    LOVE the pic! SO sweet!

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  2. Oy...I'm never potty-training another child again.

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  3. I know there's a Sh*t My Kids Ruined blog, but can we please start a Sh*t My kids Sh*t On? Nothing makes me more tired than cleaning up poop, Dweej....nothing.

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    Replies
    1. I just don't understand WHY. I mean....WHY??? Can't she just stay on the potty and call for me like every other child I've ever had? Why does she have to get up and walk around after doing her business? I. Don't. Under. STAND.

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  4. I love the photo, the sweetest!

    Oh. Poop. Well.

    All funny stories of my children involve poop. Nuff said.

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  5. And of course, you were matter of fact and neutral while cleaning it up, right?

    I am dealing with the same thing with a certain dachshund named Frida, who had never used the potty, and never will use the potty. I am about to make a dog skin hat out of her.

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    Replies
    1. Paula, you will be happy to know that I was pretty calm, cool, and collected. At least for me. Have I told you about my new strategy? Before I open any door in the house I say "Jesus, Mary & Joseph, please help me to not freak out at the poop mess I'm about to have to clean up." Most of the time (thankfully) it's not poop on the other side of the door, but when it is, it really does help! I know! Amazing.

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  6. It's never going to stop. Never ever. By the time the kids are housebroken, we'll have lost control of our bowels.

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  8. This is so funny! I was just thinking about how absurd emails can be sometimes because I just sent the following verbatim email to my husband:


    Oh I forgot to mention very important thing! We have another d#*m mouse!! AHHH! It's like those guys know you are leaving town and they come into torture me. This one had a real poop fest all over our bottom cabinets. There was mouse caca EVERYWHERE all over everything. IT was so foul. I emptied out the cupboards so it doesn't have anything to play with or crap on. I'd be lying if I said I didn't throw away a few household items that I didn't have the heart to disinfect.

    I'm not sure how much longer I can wait to kill it. I may have to *gasp* set my own trap.

    I'm so grossed out right now.
    Come home and kill the mouse.

    Love,
    Your Wife


    Life with both kids AND mice are never dull!

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    Replies
    1. This. Is. STELLAR.

      We should do a whole link-up of just copy/pasted emails...

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  9. Aside from poop, your kids are pretty awesome! Love "reading time"!!

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  10. Real life love. "Oh, God, why did you make us to have to poop? It's gross. Signed, Confused." Hang in there!!

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  11. Wait... this isn't real. Girls don't poop. Or so I'm told.

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  12. One time, Ramona pooped on her own foot.

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    Replies
    1. I have to hear this story. I HAVE TO.

      Dwija, we are having random poop-in-the-underwear surprises from our 4-year-old, George. When you figure out how to get through Ceci's head about poop belonging only in the potty, let me know. Maybe she and George speak the same language.

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  13. I die of cuteness (from the photo, not the email, of course.)

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