Monday, April 22, 2013

Paint and Paneling. Punch them Both.

Mornin' y'all.

You know what's super suck-ando-licious?  Painting super textured dark wood paneling.  If you ever put up super textured dark wood paneling throughout every living area in your house, I will personally come and picket your front yard.  Does that sound like a threat?  I'm just trying to make the world a better place, promise.

Anyway, you'll notice that it has been over TWO WHOLE WEEKS since we first started tackling the horrible cave situation that is our living room/dining room, and guess what?  Still not done.  Because despite what the pathological liars on HGTV claim, painting is not "real quick and magical" or whatever it is they say.  Fer realz.  Lemme just tell you what it takes to paint one little section of this barftastic wall.

1) Clean wall.  Because of the textured surface, discover that dust has been collecting in the wall-ridges for so long that that your rag looks like you've just wiped the inside of your chimney.  Gag a little.

2)  Remove baby from dog water

3) Tape off trim including baseboards, ceiling trim, and window frames

4) Throw snacks at starving toddlers

5) Put primer on wall.  Just kidding.  Help boy find his painting clothes.  Help girl find her painting clothes.  Change baby's diaper. Help someone with math.  Start putting primer on wall.  Wipe splashed primer off of carpet.  Finish priming tiny section you started working on three hours ago.

6) Find caulking gun.  Apply a bead of caulk from floor to ceiling between every. single. individual. piece. of. wood. paneling.  Every four inches.  EVERY FOUR INCHES, PEOPLE!

7) Realize you have not taken a shower or done a single "real" chore and that the baby is now chewing on a crayon.

8) Abandon project for the day and grumble mean things about inventors of both paneling and paint.

See what I'm sayin'?  You don't even GET to the painting part and you've been working all dang day.  It is cray cray.  Anyway.  So over it.

Here's an unrelated photo because I don't want to ruin the (not so) big reveal:
my babies love the babies
Okay, it's Monday.  Grocery store, new school schedule for the week, hazmat action on the weekend mess.  You know.  But hey, if you wanna hear some more ramblings from me (surely you can't get enough of this stream of consciousness mess?), I've got an itty bitty NFP interview over at Carrots for Michaelmas today.

Oh, and if you're here for the first time from Haley's place....welcome!  Please don't put up dark paneling in your house!

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23 comments :

  1. I promise. But it's gonna look soooo good when you're done!

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  2. I am here from Haley's place! I am excited to have another "Catholic Mommy Blog," as I like to call them, to distract me from getting ready for class in the morning. Not to mention more people to add to my prayer list :)

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  3. Ah. I have detected your problem, and it isn't paneling. It's CHILDREN. In the immortal words of George Bailey, "Why do we have to have all these children?"?!?!?

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    1. And in the immortal words of Mary Bailey "I'll just put up a little wallpaper!" ;)

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    2. Do what I did and wait for them to get a little older and do the work themselves because they can't believe you would not do a little thing like paint the paneling. Yes, you have to spend a few years in humiliating darkness, but it pays off in the end :)

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    3. JK you should totally keep going and this pain too shall recede into the mists. It's so worth it. Just so you know that you aren't the only one wondering why it's so dang hard!! Just think of me, not doing it!

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  4. Oh, man. I am the worst at projects. I want them done yesterday or not at all. And children, blessed though they may be, make everything 1 gazillion times harder. I'm sure it's going to look really nice when it's done, though! (Fake cheerfulness enough to get you through?)

    Loved your interview, too.

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  5. Maybe I am just too innocent for words, but I keep wondering why you don't take the ughly dork-dark paneling off the walls and then paint. It's going to look like you painted super-textured paneling if you don't, right? No offense meant! Really! (Except against dark textured paneling anywhere but in a Victorian men's club's library.)

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    1. Ugh, I know. It's because the living situation is a little messy right now, but not dangerous for the kids. When you start taking down walls and putting up walls, it becomes dangerous. Plus, the paint I can do by myself, but drywalling requires both parents which means only working on the weekend AND no one free to watch the kids while the other works. As you can see, we've gone 'round and 'round about this one!

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    2. I was wondering the same thing. Do you know what the condition is behind the paneling? Maybe you'll get lucky and it's in good condition? Probably not but I know what a pain in the rear it is to paint paneling. Ugh. Wish I could come help...how fun would that be? Maybe just a little bit better??

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    3. Walls in good condition behind the paneling? In a house that old? Why do you think they put the paneling up in the first place?? :) My husband paints houses for a living. Which is why nothing ever gets painted around here. I am not about to pick up a brush and risk not doing it right! Keep going....you'll be happy that you did in the end.

      Sharon

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  6. Ugh dark paneling. Is there a petition I can sign against it?

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  7. Ha! I'm in a house that had that horrible dark paneling in every. single. room. We walked in, and the windows were all covered with shades (those awful ones with the slats that no one who doesn't like dust would ever, ever choose - who are these people, that these things are even still available??), and I stood there just looking at my husband like he was crazy. The realtor said "Picture it painted!" (perky voice). Yeah. I was six months pregnant with number two, and who did she think had tons of time for painting? With my 18-month-old in tow? I hate wood paneling with a deep and abiding passion. (tip: You don't have to caulk the grooves. It will be a huge improvement to just paint, and you can do that later when you're RE-painting to cover up all the fingerprints on the paint. Also? I totally wouldn't wash the wall first. The paint will cover the dirt, and it won't escape. My standards are low, I know, but I'm still sane and my house is painted! Only, what, six years, it took us?) Good luck!

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  8. Great NFP interview! We use Marquette and LOVE it. And I'm with you on the home improvement projects. While we do not have dark paneling, we have the wallpaper from H-E-double hockey sticks in our kitchen. And it's been in a state of semi-peeled/scraped off for, oh, about 4-ish months now. Because it takes me 800 hours to do ONE.TINY.SECTION. And don't even get me started on the spackling and caulking that will need to be done. Before I can paint. And I don't even have a tiny person around. But between school and sports, I've just given up and will be reacquating myself with the project come summer time. I hope.

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  9. What if... what if you took spackle and schmeared the seams and then sanded them down before painting? Is that more expensive? It just seems like it would be so much easier on your hands and your sanity.

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  10. Wood paneling should be illegal!

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  11. I hear you about the panelling. It is a pain to work on. I painted ours at our old house and in this house. It worked very well over there, but here it has been a disaster! I get nicks and chips all the time. Tape on the walls just peels the paint right off. It's a mess! And projects take us forever to accomplish. We finally had professional painters come in and fix our walls and paint our walls, baseboards, and the trim around the windows. We've been trying for 3 years to get that job done! Finally we gave up and "bought a vowel!"I agree with Auntie Leila...."and I could have done it if it weren't for these meddling kids!" Good luck with your job.;)

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  12. Painting with kids is like trying to chew gum and eat a cracker at the same time. Right, yo?? If I paint anything, it has to be done at night, with jammin' music in my headphones and Mountain Dew in my holster. I'm always a walking zombie the next day, but that's how I get 'er done.

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  13. Our entire basement was covered in dark paneling. As a bonus, we're pretty sure they were meant to be floor boards or something acquired on the cheap and they were so rough we'd get splinters if we leaned on them.

    We got a large monetary gift from my parents and almost immediately hired someone to drywall over everything. He checked a few places to make sure the walls were okay underneath and did pull one section down. It was decided that leaving the paneling up would give extra insulation and we wouldn't miss the extra inch of space around the room.

    I was so happy when all that darkness because happy white walls. We did paint over the white but it's not much darker. We also hung a lot more lightbulbs everywhere.

    Luckily it was all in the basement so it didn't kill us to put the whole area out of commission for 3 months while the project happened (it would have been half the time but we painted ourselves with 3 small children around and you know how that goes).

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  15. You know what we did for that paneling? Only the top half. Spackled the top and put a cheap "chair rail" - aka the cheapest wood that could still be considered a chair rail, if you look REALLY FAST - up. Painted the top half turquoise and the bottom half with the glossy (ie scrubby-sponge-able for those peanut butter schmearing occasions) cream color we've painted ALL the trim in the house. Voila!

    And the comments, especially from those annoying know-it-all types who say things like "Yes, well- this is in ALL homes from this period", are awesome. Because "ACTUALLY ;), I put that in last year. The original walls had 3 layers of wallpaper and two layers of wood paneling and also aren't insulated... so this beaut is very much DIY Hazardous-Chic. Half the work, twice as fun! And it comes across as "vintage," not shabby "I did it all.by.myself!"

    I'm sure your walls look great though - I'm just to lazy to follow suit! lol

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    1. Before and after, in one shot. lol (I need almost-instant gratification to fuel me finishing anything.)

      https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=458361000696&l=fa96066ac4

      (Mariel, not William. I stole husband's google account.)

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  16. Kitchen reno on the cheap - the prices are in the comments: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.114287105696.183199.543140696&type=1&l=b8423b823d

    Tearing down a load- bearing, inconvenient wall without permission (hehe): https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.252579565696.284960.543140696&type=1&l=659331b2b2

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