Wednesday, February 05, 2014

The devil totally poops snow

I had big plans. Big ideas. Lots of amazing stuff to say, people!  Okay, maybe not that amazing.  But stuff.  Real words.  But instead Snowpocolypse #728 happened in this most horrid of all winters and my brain is too fried from this morning's adventure to say anything of value.  Instead I will share with you one of my uber uber profesh diagrams while I rant.

This morning I took the kids to their Wednesday morning classes.  I was in denial.  Never mind that we had to shovel the path twice just to get out to the van.  Oh, never you mind that.  It was a balmy 18 degrees ABOVE zero and we were not staying home again.  No. Sir. Ree. Bob.

The drive there was bad enough, what with the using of the Toyota Sienna as a snowplow on the as-yet-unplowed roads.  But we made it and I pretty much felt invincible.  Then...oh THEN it just kept right on snowing.  Snowed and blowed the whole two point five hours that we were gone.

Can you use your Sherlockian powers of deduction to guess what happened when we went attempted to go home? 



This right here is a stellar visual aid because words cannot convey how enormously insane this excursion was.  See that green line?  That is our normal route home from our homeschool partnership classes.  See that crazy red mess of a mess approximately 12 inches from our house?  That is where I very nearly got extremely stuck in an insane pile of snow and was forced to back up and find an alternate, slightly less treacherous route. 

AND DO YOU SEE THE REST OF THE RED LINE THAT RAMBLES IN AN INSANE LOOP AROUND A THOUSAND OTHER STREETS? 

That, dear friends, was the only way I could physically navigate a path to our house.  Texas, I feel real ready to move back to you right about now....


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22 comments :

  1. It's 19 here in N. Texas right now. No snow as of yet ( it's in the forecast), but the wind is downright cutting through us!

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  2. Oh no! I'm glad you guys finally made it home safe!

    Yesterday I got stuck trying to get out of our garage to take Sadie to a doctor's appointment. Paul forgot to mention that leaving involved making a high speed 30 point turn to avoid getting stuck between the snow banks and our neighbors fence. This winter is insane.

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  3. Why must it keep snowing! We just got dumped with another 12 inches yesterday and they're still working to get the streets cleared.

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  4. I know. I know. I didn't have a harrowing journey but I did have to shovel the bajillions of inches because first the husband is on a business trip and then the plows pushed all the snow from the alley into my driveway. I am literally out of places to move the snow to so if it ever snows some more I'm just giving up entirely. Today I had to carry shovels full to the side of my garage just to get it out of the driveway. Insane.

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  5. Ugh...I had a hard time moving my car to the back of the house because I'm HOPING the low will come through. We got 8" last night and it hit 18 this morning with temps in free fall for the next three days. The devil poops snow for sure, but he farts Polar Vortex!

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  6. Texas would welcome you with open arms!!! Come be snowbirds!

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  7. BEST blog post title EVER!! Thanks for making me laugh. SO needed.

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  8. I know. I. Know. I just keep whispering to myself "shhhhh. Shhhhhhhhhh. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. Spring is coming, it's coming. It can't stay winter forever. It just can't."

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  9. This morning I shoveled the van out threw in the kids and a lot of snacks and promised McDonalds and drove a good 40 miles to a funeral mass for a dear homeschool mom from our old church who passed away suddenly at 59. I will admit I was a bit crazy to drive the same hour the severe winter weather warning cleared but I figured the graces of Mass was needed since staying in the house anymore was not going to make me a more virtuous mother. The drive to the funeral Mass was not bad. The drive to swim lessons at the Y at 4pm was crazy. MAIN STREET in our little city that goes to the Y had not been plowed. The plows were on the other side. I almost got stuck in this little merge lane on the one way area near downtown on the way home. My hubby said it was worse on his way home because now that they plowed the streets are slick and icy. My 7 yr old yesterday was creating/reciting almost epic poems about why she no longer wants snow is sorry she ever asked for it and all the wonder that she can do if only it wasn't winter anymore. This was during the drive to Kroger to lay in the essentials in case we were stuck in the house for 5 days again. Last week on the 5th day our van's battery was DEAD and I was stuck in the house for a 6th day before my van all better.

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  10. My dad & I were discussing this weather over dinner, and we realized that in our corner of southeastern Michigan, we haven't had a day without snow on the ground since before Christmas. I've gotten stuck four times, slid off the road three times and been locked out of my car while digging it out of snow drifts twice. I am SO READY for spring. Or at least a week of consistently 38 degree weather.

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  11. Love the diagram. It snowed 4 inches here last week and I was shut in for 4 DAYS… We spent 1.75 hours on my 3 yr old's preschool homework. It. Was. Bad. But probably not as bad as the winter y'all are having!

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  12. Put the shovel in the van. Actually, put 2 in there. Or, do what I really WANT to do, and put a plow-thingy on the front of the van. (Or...how portable are those gas-powered snow-throwers that all my neighbors have? Maybe that?) We stayed home today for the first time in a while (mind you, only one kiddo over here), but we will totally hit the gym tomorrow if possible.

    I'm still trying to figure out how something so pretty (and sparkly!) can be such a nuisance. I think your title explains it well.

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  13. Fredericksburg, TX made the Forbes list and had all "pros" and no "cons". We also have a fabulous Catholic church and almost NEVER get snow...if you're moving ;-)

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  14. Come to Atlanta. We just have ice here and people stuck on the highway for 12 hours at a time.......

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  15. My grandpa always called this making michigan tracks, meaning sometimes you have to go 5 miles out of your way to get 1/2 a mile down the road. Our cul de sac doesn't get plowed regularly so half the time we are stranded, able to see the clear cut path to town but can't get to it!

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  16. I'm so impressed with your map! You blogging types know how to do such things, but it probably would have taken me as long to make that as you took to drive it. Very impressive! (Liz)

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  17. Cool map, but is it a good idea to post the location of your home on the Web for anyone to see? I'd worry about safety!

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    1. Since I'm the only me on the www, one need only google my name to get my address. My hope is that it's just way too inconvenient to stalk someone who lives so far from....anything ;)

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  18. This has been one long, cold, strange winter. I live in Kentucky and can usually start looking for warmer weather soon, but there's nothing in the forecast. And we had ANOTHER ice storm the other day, and NO POWER, and it's clear it's just not going to melt anytime soon. :-(

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  19. Open invitation to visit us in Switzerland. It is lovely here AND they clear the roads when it snows :-)

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  20. Hi! I found your blog on ravelry in one of the groups that we share and I was shocked when I see that I used to live right around the corner from you. So I totally understand the craziness of having to push show with your car around those roads. NOT fun. One time in 1998 the snow came so quick and wet that I was pushing snow with my short to the ground sedan.

    I hope you enjoy that part of the world, at least when there isn't a million inches of snow on the ground. ;)

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  21. You know what I keep dreaming about? Gardening. Starting my seeds.

    February is the root of all insanity.

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