tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post8250303693551264082..comments2024-03-28T04:36:56.831-04:00Comments on House Unseen. Life Unscripted.: Sometimes it sucks...and that's okayDwija {House Unseen}http://www.blogger.com/profile/17887429052179249473noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-17396485675963180072018-01-12T08:44:07.382-05:002018-01-12T08:44:07.382-05:00I know this was all a long time ago, and I am just...I know this was all a long time ago, and I am just now reading it. My impression of someone being mad that there was a sippy cup for a small child, toddler or baby and some goldfish is....go suck on a lemon somewhere. I know that is a little harsh, but have they nothing better to do? I wouldn't even worry about it. You guys are amazing! Every time I see a Mom struggling in Mass I am so proud of her for being there and doing that and I only wish I could encourage her or help her. I never want to glare. That is just ridiculous.Emily in NChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14458478873536498324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-46414128845638886382013-02-09T12:15:47.304-05:002013-02-09T12:15:47.304-05:00Thank you, thank you for this post! My best frien...Thank you, thank you for this post! My best friend sent me this link today. It is wonderful to remember the main reason we go to Mass. I usually have to take my children to Mass alone because my husband won't go--sometimes my non-Catholic Mom goes just to help me, but that's rare, and she has a bad habit of talking through the entire liturgy--and not having Daddy there to help with the inevitable trouble child is very hard. I am honestly at a loss with what to do when I have a nursing infant (which we'll have in a day or two) and still have to deal with our two oldest acting inappropriately, which they'll do when they see my hands occupied with a baby, and our 19-mo old screaming to be allowed to wander around everywhere. I'll leave the older baby home with Dad, probably (which I don't like to do, as it gives him yet another excuse not to participate in our domestic church). I know that a 6 and 4-year-old aren't yet at the age of having an obligation to attend Mass, but I can't dream of not bringing them to Jesus in the Eucharist. Sometimes my oldest says he sees Jesus with the eyes in his heart! And other times he is jumping off the seats and crawling around under them while his sister is licking the floor. There is no "cry room" in any of the churches available to us where kids can witness the liturgy and still be contained, either, and we go where we go because they accomodate celiac disease by offering a low-gluten host. Yes, it's a cross, but there is redemtion in suffering and God will give us the grace. God will give me the grace. And I should pray for the people who look daggers at me, say unkind things about me and my kids' behavior (gee, a hugely pregnant woman having to bodily remove a very heavy child throwing a fit deserves no mercy, huh?), endure whatever persecution, because Jesus is present, He loves my kids and me, and He wants us to be there with Him, no matter what antics the little guys pull in Mass. Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08656406201137969011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-76040502431413111272012-10-02T15:42:51.744-04:002012-10-02T15:42:51.744-04:00Looking around my parish, the "powers-that-be...Looking around my parish, the "powers-that-be" don't need to do anything but remain faithful to the Magisterium, since there are far more young families with children in the pews than 65 year old Baby Boomers.<br /><br />It seems to me the height of self-absorption to look upon the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass with boredom, and then assume it's the Church that must change.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05629132804649152538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-27121007074059577332012-10-02T15:26:50.575-04:002012-10-02T15:26:50.575-04:00How sad for you, Anon. Seems you're missing th...How sad for you, Anon. Seems you're missing the point, and at your age, it's also inexcusable. You need prayers, and I'm happy to provide it.Mary Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12418321424046390588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-36058345708437201792012-10-02T15:07:57.066-04:002012-10-02T15:07:57.066-04:00I must disagree. As an adult myself, I LOVE the M...I must disagree. As an adult myself, I LOVE the Mass. If I had no other responsibilities in order to fulfill my vocation and free access to another vehicle, I would be at daily Mass so fast it might make your head spin!<br /><br />For two generations now the Church has been "thinking outside the box" and for two generations the number of faithful attending Mass and adhering to the principles of the Church has been decreasing. When was the Faith the strongest? When Jesus was here, not watering anything down, not trying to make it flashy or exciting, just saying "You want eternal happiness and fulfillment? DO. THIS." And when we actually DO THAT, do we not feel immense fulfillment? I know I do.Dwija {House Unseen}https://www.blogger.com/profile/17887429052179249473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-5855291623471740632012-10-02T14:25:44.835-04:002012-10-02T14:25:44.835-04:00Catholic Mass is b-o-r-i-n-g for adults too. You...Catholic Mass is b-o-r-i-n-g for adults too. You can cetainly have a unity with Christ in a less-boring service. There are surely some really good models out there in the Protestant faiths. This is from a life-long 65 year old Catholic who is rapidly becoming more and more disenchanted with the Catholic Church. It's a sinking ship, and the powers-that-be had better start thinking outside the box to attract and keep the younger generations. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-68140532690219942292012-09-29T23:44:06.206-04:002012-09-29T23:44:06.206-04:00I love this post Dwija. The Body of Christ is wha...I love this post Dwija. The Body of Christ is what we are there for good days and bad. And I douse my children with the water from the holy water font before each Mass and pray it neutralizes the wiggle juice inside them.Anabelle Hazardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00106609754311503527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-76131557040997238602012-09-25T11:01:25.842-04:002012-09-25T11:01:25.842-04:00I don't think it's my post-pardom emotions...I don't think it's my post-pardom emotions that I just had some tears when I read this. OMG- we are totally going thru this thing right now. Thank you, thank you Dweej for the loving reminder. :) Peace be with you! Victoria Fallshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15663004139827172397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-30332304988500664322012-09-22T15:45:31.712-04:002012-09-22T15:45:31.712-04:00Great post! God gives us the grace whether we are ...Great post! God gives us the grace whether we are focusing on Mass or not.<br />Do you think you could do a follow-up and address this poor mama's anger and resentment towards her husband? I think that's probably half of her struggle with Mass. Elizabethhttp://www.ignitumtoday.com/author/elizabeth-fox/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-28099024200637628152012-09-19T19:09:48.973-04:002012-09-19T19:09:48.973-04:00The best time is when they get old enough to altar...The best time is when they get old enough to altar serve and can't stand sitting with you in the front pew, so they volunteer to serve every Mass every weekend, every Holy Day, the Triduum, and Easter and Christmas. They think they ducking sitting in the front row. HA! My sons are standing up at the altar week after week after week watching the priest. It might just rub off on one of them. And I get wonderful comments from Moms about how nice it is seeing the boys at the altar. AnnetteAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-17769453220336053242012-09-19T09:33:15.468-04:002012-09-19T09:33:15.468-04:00Exactly -- this is our philosophy too! It means w...Exactly -- this is our philosophy too! It means we had to change parishes, because the priest at our local church is very anti-children ... he has an announcement read EVERY Sunday at the beginning of the readings asking everyone to "respect the reverential silence" and take the kids out. So we left for a parish a little further away that never has any reverential silence. ;) A little squirming, whispering, etc. seems to be taken a lot more in stride there.<br /><br />It's rough, though, because everyone seems to think kids should be acting like miniature adults in church, and anytime I mention mine don't, they say I should be punishing them more. I just don't want church to be a place of punishment! We work with the kids where they're at, and if we have to go out for a bit, that's what we do. But overall they're surprisingly "good" -- they watch what's going on as they scootch around the pew, and just the other day my toddler was singing "Alleluia! Alleluia! That's what they say in church!"<br /><br />I think we're getting there. Though I wish people were more accepting of this. Don't they realize they could be driving possible converts, like this lady, away from the church by scowling at their children?Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-61212649337355418362012-09-19T09:19:52.550-04:002012-09-19T09:19:52.550-04:00Okay, you are going to think I am really weird, bu...Okay, you are going to think I am really weird, but I firmly believe this...<br /><br />I did two things to help my kids when they were little. First, I took them to daily Mass whenever possible. And second, I made a pact with their Guardian Angels. The way I put it to them was this: "Dear Guardian Angel of (child's name), I would assume that you would always like to be as near to our dear Lord as possible every single moment. So, while you are stuck here on earth helping (child) for his brief span of life, I assume the place you would most LOVE to be is at Church and at Mass. Therefore, you must help (child) behave himself at Mass or I won't be able to take him there any more and you won't be able to go either. Amen."<br /><br />Sounds sort of threatening in black and white, but I really do believe that their angels want to see them in heaven when this is all over and are quite willing to cooperate...without being threatened even. But it is always good to ask the Angels for help.<br /><br />I LOVE seeing children at Mass! Keep it up! It definitely is worth the struggles and the grief - for your kids AND for you.<br /><br />Laura G.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-32003916673349277152012-09-19T08:02:42.465-04:002012-09-19T08:02:42.465-04:00What a great post! I am Protestant but we attend a...What a great post! I am Protestant but we attend a tiny church without children's church, nursery, etc. Our children stay in the service and I love that although it sure can be exhausting! One observation I have is that my children learn to sit through quietly pretty young (3?). Up until then there are the well-timed potty breaks, pew amusements, and prayers for patience. :) fortunately our church congregation is old but very understanding of life with babies and I've been scolded for taking a wiggly noisy little one out too SOON! Love that. Anyhow....I liked your response!Pollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09403233175071026416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-73052853945542658262012-09-19T02:18:38.120-04:002012-09-19T02:18:38.120-04:00Dwija, your article was a read-and-remember for me...Dwija, your article was a read-and-remember for me, being the salt&pepper haired mom of three young adults that I am. But it obviously speaks to all! I hope the (very brave) anonymous mom has had time to follow the caring collection of replies her comment has generated and finds strength in 1) knowing she is NOT alone and 2)the practical, heartfelt suggestions offered. One thing I didn't see mentioned above is the idea of how adding Faith filled activities into your child's daily life makes Sunday Mass/church time so more meaningful for them! Movies on the Saints and Mass, and audio stories like The Alter Gang and Glory Stories, are fun to share as a family,and give kids something to relate to and look for when they walk into Church! This mom may be surprised to find there are craft and cooking sites like catholicicing.com and catholiccuisine.com that make it possible to bring the Faith into her home in those ways too! Last but probably shoulda been first, for this mom's peace of mind on her journey into the faith I recommend 365 Mary: A Daily Guide to Mary's Wisdom and Comfort. My copy is dog-earred from many years of use.Leanehttp://www.catholicchild.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-47886301763713747742012-09-19T00:34:03.337-04:002012-09-19T00:34:03.337-04:00Oh, I wish you weren't so hard on yourself. Y...Oh, I wish you weren't so hard on yourself. You are doing something HUGE bringing your kids to Mass. Be encouraged by your efforts; it is seeping into their hearts. Keep the faith and stay the course. You're doing it!Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03484090684438335723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-6902729682866490712012-09-19T00:20:58.296-04:002012-09-19T00:20:58.296-04:00Perfect post and perfect response. I might have t...Perfect post and perfect response. I might have to borrow the 'liturgical rodeo' phrase. That's perfect, too!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-51488612192858568152012-09-18T22:42:54.755-04:002012-09-18T22:42:54.755-04:00Dweej this was a great post and Cari, thanks for t...Dweej this was a great post and Cari, thanks for that great clarification about the difference between Protestant services and Mass. It does sound pretty bleak to say "they have all this great music and preaching and stuff, but we suffer through rotten stuff to get Jesus." I don't think that's what He has in mind, but that's the truth sometimes! <br /><br />When my daughter was a baby our parish had a "cry room" and we stopped going to it because the parents there let their kids run absolutely wild! They were jumping, running, screaming, you name it. What was the point of that? We sat in the pews and did our best to keep her quiet. By the time we had two kids we were in a different parish and there were other young kids, so it wasn't bad. They seemed to behave about the same as the other kids their age. We brought Catholic books and sat near the front -- as so many have said, it made a huge difference. But I could never, never get my son to sit still, long after the other kids his age were good he was climbing on the pews, laying down on the pews, etc. Nothing we did worked and I gave up. Eventually he settled down more. In fourth grade he was diagnosed with ADHD! (which is a real disorder that really needs to be treated, in case anyone is wondering). I have a lot more compassion for parents of misbehaving young kids now. We can all point to people who don't discipline their kids, but you never know when some poor family has done everything in the book and they STILL won't behave. You just don't know what's going on in someone else's life.<br /><br />Good luck to that poor reader, she sounds like she needs a hug.Gail Finkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02117490028494416722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-63528091699786805472012-09-18T13:17:20.579-04:002012-09-18T13:17:20.579-04:00This was a beautiful post. I am a mom of two under...This was a beautiful post. I am a mom of two under two. We are the only young family in a church of people who are all 50+. I feel like taking my children to church is like taking a ticking bomb to church and sometimes I feel like the older parents in the congregation forget this fact. Most Sundays we leave church feeling like we ran a marathon but I know that this is so important for my children and our family. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-48904294985493569852012-09-18T11:16:47.311-04:002012-09-18T11:16:47.311-04:00I heard an awesome priest answer the question of d...I heard an awesome priest answer the question of dealing with wiggly kids in mass (from a grandma, not me!) in an adult education class. I don't remember all the details, but I loved his response. He basically said that we need to come to mass and offer what we have--all of it. And if we're sitting there with wiggly kids without being able to take in much of what's going on, then that's what we have to offer. He also compared it to sunbathing. We're there in the presence of Jesus, and sometimes all we can do is bask in the glow.andnotbysighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17423075130400834842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-26933166232372956282012-09-18T09:36:03.796-04:002012-09-18T09:36:03.796-04:00Alexandra said that the congregation needs to expe...Alexandra said that the congregation needs to experience children. Well, amen to that! I have a friend who calls "the crying baby" his favorite Catholic hymn. <br /><br />My children are all grown, but I still have people all around me wiggling and talking and conducting parish business during the Consecration! Adults who then complain about the kids! <br /><br />So, come sit next time me. I might even help you.<br /><br />AMDG,<br />JanetJanethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09069018443486415173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-92185209065178513122012-09-18T07:51:49.505-04:002012-09-18T07:51:49.505-04:00This was a great post! While I'm not a Cathol...This was a great post! While I'm not a Catholic, I do attend a church meeting that is similar to your Mass, where we take the sacrament(Eucharist) and our entire family sits for an entire hour and ten mins for the service. It is tough! Right now I have to wait in the lobby with my ds2 and dd1 because they just make too much noise. <br />What I have found that helps is practicing at home. I require my ds2 to kneel with us in family prayer every morning and night, and he also has to sit quietly while we do family scripture reading. It is during these times I can better correct him if he is not reverent. He can go to time out or participate with the rest of the family in worship. He is learning that there is a time to be still and a time to play. He still has the attention span of a gnat, but I know it will improve with practice and time.<br />I don't get much out of my time at church when I have small children, but I know my example and the habit of attending weekly will eventually pay off and it will be worth it.Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00371851613931420244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-67342517288503191442012-09-17T23:57:01.740-04:002012-09-17T23:57:01.740-04:00Loved this post. My husband was Catholic in Name ...Loved this post. My husband was Catholic in Name only for many many years and last year came back fully to the church - so keep inviting, don't nag and pray for her without ceasing! <br /><br />I used to be discouraged taking my 3 little ones alone to Mass. One night I was just about in tears with my rotten monsters, when a sweet gramma told me how lovely it was to see little ones in Mass and wasn't I the #1 mom in the world to have raised such well mannered little fellas. It might have been a bald-faced lie, but it got me thru a few more years!<br /><br />Now they are teens, and I sit alone sometimes when they serve and I miss their wiggly little selves ( I think anyway, LOL). Hang in there, mommas, you are doing exactly what you were called to do and that is never easy, is it?!<br /><br />PamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-3519272750669435532012-09-17T23:28:34.895-04:002012-09-17T23:28:34.895-04:00Awesome Dwija. I'm sharing this with our homes...Awesome Dwija. I'm sharing this with our homeschool group.Cathmom2sixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02708397672619213519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-87924229241337123652012-09-17T21:31:14.829-04:002012-09-17T21:31:14.829-04:00I think the last homily I heard was about acceptin...I think the last homily I heard was about accepting our crosses. Mothers usually do this with style. Cute post.<br />From a former wiggler. Intangible Heartshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05047040538015079182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6378450001604002654.post-35740426922662097502012-09-17T18:50:03.863-04:002012-09-17T18:50:03.863-04:00Wonderful words! We take our less-than-perfect fou...Wonderful words! We take our less-than-perfect four kids to mass every week. Sometimes it feels like we've been through a battle, but they can see it's really important to us, partly because we work so hard to be there.Bananahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11642212940576131428noreply@blogger.com