Just so you know how big of a dork I am, I'll admit that I googled "average price of car" before I started this post because I was pretty sure that this house, and the beautiful land it sits on, cost about the same as most vehicles, but I didn't wanna just say it and have some wise-acre comment something like "Actually (wise-acres love to start comments with the word 'actually'), according to the FTC....blah, blah, blah". So I did, and I was right. But also wrong. Because it cost us less than the average price of a new car. I am seriously (still) not making any of this up. Yes my friend, this "fixer", which made me cry in front of the whole internet yesterday, cost us all of $27,000. No, I didn't forget a zero or accidentally write a 2 instead of a 9. Less than the cost of one Toyota Sienna.
I'll give you a second to pick up your jaw.
And despite how bad those pictures look and how absolutely helpless we felt that first day (and the second, and the third and the tenth....) we have been totally living here ever since that lil wirin'-n-plumbin' debacle got squared away. Which means we have a real house, with walls and floors and a fireplace and what we discovered was a new roof and....
OhmylordyJesus, I still get giddy when I say those words. I mean, helloooooooo retirement at 50! Who would have even thought such a thing was possible? I am 30 years old folks. THIRTY. Now if that is not something to rejoice about, to throw your hands up at and do a big ol' booty-shake-in-thanksgiving, then I don't know what is. Why don't we all just take a moment to do just that, shall we?
.....shake it....shake it....shake it....SHAKE IT!!!!
Oops, got a little carried away again...
And so when I look at the dirt-colored, textured 70's linoleum that still holds that coveted place directly in our entry-way, or I get my sweater snagged on yet another useless nail that was pounded into the wood paneling at just the wrong height by the same ridiculous person that wallpapered the closet doors, I say "Hello disgusting linoleum...I OWN YOU!" and "Yes Mr. Nail, I do believe you have just breathed your last, for I AM YOUR MASTER!". Then I throw my hands up and give the ol' tush a little jiggle.