My very first really real magazine article!

I've written some lame, lazy posts in my day.  But this one...well, this one is handily going to win the gold medal in the Lameness Olympics (see how I worked the word "Olympics" in there?  Makin' it relevant and all that jazz.  The word relevant, by the way, is super lame.  Another 10 points for me!).

See, once upon a time I wrote a real article and it got published in a real print magazine and they sent me a check for real American dollars in exchange and I was all "Quick!  Cash it before they realize their mistake!"  But then people started asking if they could read said article and I got clever.  Photos of words on a page?  Don't mind if I do.

What the Heck is Going on?

My house has a weekend hangover.  Do I say that every Monday?  I think so.

Well, it's Monday....and it's true.

Plus, I just did that thing with the baby where you take off the carrier without removing the  baby and place her ever so gently, still clad in the carrier, onto your bed and then walk very, very slowly backwards because sweetbabyjeezus you haven't used the bathroom in 9 hours.

And now she's awake.  Again.

7 Quick Takes: Mostly About Pee

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I don't want to ruin it, so I refuse to tell you about how my 5 week old baby slept from 11:30 p.m. until 5 a.m. last night.  You'll just have to go around imagining me waking up every two hours and...

Two of Us Might be Crying {p. h. f. r.}

{pretty}

 No filter on this beautiful photo.  Just another beautiful lake in Michigan on a gorgeous summer day.

Rosary Giveaway from Aquinas & More

Time to win, time to win, one of you will win....! (yes, sung to Jingle Bells.  I tried to feel bad about busting out a Christmas carol in July, but I just couldn't muster the energy).

As you may already know, the owner of Aquinas & More Catholic Goods is forced to share family reunions with my loud mouth because his wife and my husband grew up together as brother and sister.  Also, they are *actually* brother and sister, so that works out well.  As a perk of sharing family with me, in addition to having me laugh way too loud and wake up all the sleeping children, he also gets to let me give stuff away from his store.

Mary's Homebirth Story: The Conclusion

If you've just started reading, click here for part one then go here for part two.  Or just start here and be all confused.  That's cool.  I'm confused most of the time and have still managed to survive.


One of the things that always struck Tommy about my hospital birth experiences is that no one ever touched me except to put on or take off equipment.  They didn't feel for baby's position, they didn't jump in and offer any physical help or advice for managing or minimizing the pain.  It was always "you ready for your drugs yet?" and then "okay, we'll be back soon to check on you!".  And I felt like a little island alone in that sea of uncertainty.

Thrift and Garden

Sometimes the weather cools off just a little and the rain falls from the sky and suddenly everyone is outdoors and people are happy and you go to the lake at the drop of a hat and you just can't bring yourself to sit down at a computer and tell everyone how glorious things are.  You just have to live the glorious.

But I have this blog, which I also love, that demands just a little attention every now then.  So I'm here and you're here and we'll talk about thrifting and the garden for just a quick minute, yes?

Cloth Diapering FAQs (from a Newbie for Newbies)

Fine, I'll be honest. Only one person is asking me questions about cloth diapering.  And she didn't ask me frequently.  She just asked me once.  AND I'm going to see her in person tomorrow so I could just wait and tell her out loud but then would this blog post be able to write itself?

No ma'am (or sir, as it were).  If I'm going to blather on anyway (as I am wont to do.  Surprise!), I'm gonna milk it, yo.  Only so many hours in a day, ya know?  And see?  I'm blathering on already and haven't actually said anything yet.   Okay, commence actual information...

Mary's Homebirth Story: part 2

if you've just started reading, click here to start with part 1 .  And you can get that recently-opened beer back out of your fridge.

So hubby only slightly rolls his eyes (what a nice, accommodating boy he is), grabs the camera and takes the photo.  Then, because he's awesome let's not forget, he notices that I had started doing the dishes and picks up right where I left off while I grab the phone to give the midwife a call.

"Good morning, this is Linda."

Yes, that IS how she answered her phone at 5 a.m.  Gosh I love her.

Mary's Homebirth Story: part 1

This is a birth story.  A real story of an actual birth that happened in my home.  My very first homebirth attended by a sweet and kind midwife and a fantastic husband, so if you are looking for something gentle, something innocuous, something...taupe, you've come to the wrong place.  But if you don't mind a little bit of blood and a smattering of words like "tear" and "gush" and "excruciating", then pull up a chair.  Crack open a beer.  It's about to get real up in here.

7 Quick Takes: 5K, Onions, and Baby

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Whew, I'm a dork.  Did you know that I went through the entirety of yesterday thinking it was the 13th?  And I even wrote our arrive-aversary post and patted myself on the back for being so "with it" and "organized" and "not at all in a postpartum daze"?  Opposite day, friends! Totally not with it or organized and so very much in a postpartum daze!

(2)

Anyway, so Tommy just pulled these out of our garden...

Happy 2 Year Arrive-aversary

Two years ago today we pulled slowly into the driveway of this fixer-upper we had bought for $27K cash off the internet.  The fixer-upper we never saw in person before the day we arrived to live here, children in tow, hearts in our throats.

10 Things I Forgot About Newborns

1) The pooping

How many times a day can a healthy human poop?  Apparently the answer is some number greater than 3,000.  Seriously, you guys...I had planned on using disposable diapers for the first two weeks before moving over to cloth, but little miss poopykins was going through so dang many of them that I busted out the reusables at only one week.  Because I am NOT spending another $30 on something that's going to get covered in poo and thrown in the trash.  I did that for 4 babies already.  No more pooping on the money.  That's my new motto.

The One with the Electrocuted Badger

My hair, oh my goodness. It seriously looks like an electrocuted badger has been fastened to my head, but a real haircut would cost me a minimum of $25+tip, at least an hour of my time, and a 17 mile drive each way to the place with the $25 haircut that's worth getting.

Yeah, hi.  I have 5 kids and only one car.  Nice to meet you.

not waves- dreadlocks, folks

Thank You

Today I got an email.

Today I got an email that touched my heart and moved me so that even if every single one of you unfollowed this blog and not a soul ever read anything I wrote ever again, I would still gazelle leap across my living room.

7 Quick Takes: Baby/Garden/Funny/Blahblahblah

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Y'all.  I just downloaded the photos from the camera and there were 56 of them.  FIFTY-SIX!  98% were from Mary's first bath.  Who in their right mind would want to look at 54 pictures of a 10 day old baby wrapped in a towel?  Here, I'm sure one will do the trick just fine:

Wherein I Tell You What I'm Going to Tell You

Think, brain.  Think!  Say something meaningful.  Tell the birth story or something.  Anything.  Just make it good.

Ew, did I brush my teeth this morning?  Ugh, I think not.  Nasty, dude.

This Morning

Mommy, I wanna be naked

Okay.

So I'm Supposed to be...Nice?

Our fifth child was born 9 days ago. Just 9 little days. If anyone were to tell you that they have or haven’t done something (besides your basic life stuff…eat, drink, breathe. Sleep. Ahem.) for NINE WHOLE DAYS, you’d probably wonder if they weren’t being a tad dramatic.

Well put on your drama hats, folks because I have neither left the house nor cleaned the house in NINE WHOLE DAYS.

Click here to read the rest...

Winner, winner! But no chicken dinner. Sorry.

Did you think I'd forgotten?  Because if you did, you were right!

Well, not totally, because here I am doing it (obviously).  But yes, I have had periodic moments of complete brain dump during which time I can barely remember when it was I last showered.  So it should come as no surprise that the idea of announcing the winner of this snazzy birthday-guessin' necklace: