Saturday, November 12, 2011

I Hate Being Pregnant

I'll only torture you with this once.  As much as I'm going to want to moan and complain for every second of every day for the next 223 days (or so.  Not that I'm counting or anything.), I know that y'all get enough whining from your toddlers and your teenagers and your co-workers and your customers and that you come here to....I don't know....hang out with the personification of your Id who says a bunch of stuff you didn't even know you were thinking or were too reasonable to actually say out loud, probably.

See?  Man, I am in bad shape.  I don't even know what I just said.  Anyway.

I. Hate. Being. Pregnant.

Please note, I did NOT say "I wish I was not pregnant." because that would be patently untrue.

No, no...I love, love, love babies.  Little stinky diaper-overflowing eating every 45 minutes crying for no reason smiling for the first time gonna change the world someday babies.  And no offense to your babies, but I love my babies most of all.  I love big families and I love my hubby and I love my faith and I love that God has chosen me, despite all my shortcomings, to shelter and care for His unique, marvelous creations.  I am so happy to be pregnant.

But I hate it.  Oh man...it is the pits.  The puking and the exhaustion and the ridiculous cravings.  The reflux and the sore back and the false labor.  People telling you that you look like you're going to POP and then making that special face when you tell them you're only 5 months pregnant.  Oh, and then the REAL labor.  Although I have to tell you, labor is way more enjoyable to me than the 40 weeks of pregnancy, because a) you know this whole business is about to be over and b) no one expects you to change poopy diapers or take out the trash when you're in labor.  Am I right, friends?  You know it.

But just because something is HARD doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.  In fact, a lot of things worth doing are going to be hard.  They're probably going to suck.  Because if they didn't suck and they weren't hard, then everyone would be doing them all the time and the world wouldn't so desperately need YOU to do them yourself.  Like finishing that degree, or raising enough money to adopt, or caring for your little people in the way only you can so that when they have little people of their own, the whole earth breathes a sigh of thanksgiving.

So please know that through the fog of what will be the next 7 months, I am saying this prayer: "Lord, please just let me survive."

Plus, know that I will be enormous.

Note that the baby born of this enormous belly was just barely 7 lbs.  A tragedy I tell you!
Dear baby, I love you.  If you have any time-travelling super-powers, will you kindly use them right now?  Thanks mucho!

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58 comments :

  1. Thank you for writing this. I've felt so horrible for thinking all of this now as I'm pregnant with our first! I'm so thankful to be pregnant, so excited for the baby, but I haven't enjoyed actually being pregnant at all. My energy is gone, my emotions are practically volatile, and my poor husband has been driven nuts at times. I just pray for the time to go fast and that we're prepared for when the baby comes.

    <3 You can get through all of this, I know it :-)

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  2. Hugs, Kendra! We will both survive, I know it :) Sometimes being real with each other about the challenges (ahem: suckiness) make them all that much more bearable. Hang in there, sweet girl.

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  3. Love this post! And, I could so relate in my third trimester. It was tough with the weight gain and hormones to stay positive, but now that I've had the baby, I can look at things a whole lot differently.

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  4. I relate. I'm pregnant with my fourth and this pregnancy has been horrible for me. I'm sick all the time, just a little, you know? Not like I can throw up and feel better, nope, more like, I feel like tossing that breakfast but instead it is just going to sit there for the next four hours making me FEEL as if I will throw up any moment.

    Then the tired, I never have been so tired in my life. I even tried pretending I wasn't tired and that made me so tired and ill that I spent a whole day in bed with it.

    I can so relate.

    And I too love kids and it is such a blessing to be expecting this wonderful new person. I wanted to be pregnant, but do I ever hate being pregnant.

    My first two pregnancies were fun, energetic, and all around wonderful... the third was sick to the stomach the whole time, and this one is sick and tired.

    But they are so very worth it!!

    You just keep on sharing, I enjoy your blog very much!!

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  5. Oh how funny. You articulate this one really well- much better than I've ever been able to. I have liked being pregnant, but I get that it's not smooth for everyone. Hang in there, mama.

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  6. Hahaha. I love you, Dweej. I actually like being pregnant for one reason and one reason only: it's the only time that my stomach is supposed to be as big as it normally is. I jest not. My maternity clothes fit better than any clothes I've ever had.

    The physical stuff sucks, though, really. I enjoy the whole labor/delivery thing (who doesn't?) and the first few days the most, though. There's enough sweetness and wonder there to make it all worth it, a thousand times over.

    Also, I once had a barista at Starbucks ask me if she should call an ambulance (in a truly alarmed tone), to which I icily replied, "Sure, in about six months." (Yes, I was only four months along.) She muttered something unintelligible and then gave me a free Venti drink instead of a tall, so all in all I considered it a win-win. But I know what you mean. It's like the entire world has never seen a pregnant woman before. Or has never heard of tact.

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  7. Seriously that is not bad. When I was pregnant with my boy people would stop and ask me if I was having TWINS! I got so large, the nurse stopped telling me how many weeks I was measuring because it made me feel bad. He ended up being 10 lbs. and 22 inches long. and I ended up with 1 1/2 liters of amniotic fluid. Most people have 1/2 liter. I did not deliver a new born, I delivered a 3 month old and a liter of Coke! So take cheer Dwija, it could be worse. (After delivering a 10lb baby my mother in law tells me my husband was a 9lb baby, and I found out my Uncle was a 10 lb baby. Both men are now well over 6 feet tall.

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  8. Yay! Congratulations on your new little one!
    That being said. I'm so with you.
    In fact, I clicked over because of your tweet that says "I hate being pregnant" and I am currently 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and I hate it. So, you are not alone my friend!
    Also, I agree that labor is WAY better than pregnancy, as is taking care of a helpless child that you just adore. I LOVE the baby, I'm WAY excited about the delivery, and I am totally over the pregnancy. And I have been for about....um...40 weeks and 1 day.

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  9. This made me laugh! I think you made the best point that hating being pregnant is not that same as not wanting to be pregnant. Did you take that idea out of my brain and articulate it? Does pregnancy give you special powers or something? Where are my special powers???

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  10. Keep your eyes on the prize! maybe this pregnancy will be better than your past ones, who knows? ;) I hope the puking goes away soon!

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  11. Woah, woah, I missed the original announcement, so this was a GREAT surprise to read this! Congratulations and prayers coming for the little one!!!! God Bless you and your beautiful family!

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  12. Look at your short locks? Ooh La La!

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  13. Dweej, you are so stinkin' cute it's not even funny. I mean it!
    I hope the puking part leaves you soon, and in it's place the "I love being pregnant" phase kicks in. Wishful thinking?

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  14. I always say, I'd rather be anesthetized for the entire pregnancy and have an unmedicated labor. I'm with you on this one, Dweej. LOVE the babies/kids, cannot stand the pregnancy. At this point, I'm trying to just be grateful for every day that I have with this child; even the days when he is on the inside and the heartburn and nausea are killing me inch by inch.

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  15. That is a really cute maternity shirt! I'm with you - when I was pregnant with Sasha, I kept waiting for that amazing glowing earth woman feeling to kick in. It never did and although I desperately want another baby, I'm dreading the pregnancy. I had a completely routine, uncomplicated pregnancy with Sasha and it still seemed seriously not fun.

    I hesitate to say this and will probably get flamed for it, but I noticed on my pregnancy chat boards that the people who thought pregnancy was the best thing ever tended to be somewhat overweight and sedentary in the first place. There were a lot of comments about not having to hide your stomach and having an excuse to lie around. For me it was a significant restriction on everything I like to do and a giant pain in the ass (literally!).

    Part of me wondered after the miscarriage if God took my babies away just to punish me for not enjoying the pregnancy process. It seemed like the kind of thing he would do...yes I know that is crazy!!

    Hope you have a great, smooth pregnancy and your little one is here before you know it!

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  16. How in the world did I miss this? Am I that self absorbed? Dweej, I'm so happy for you guys. Omg!!!!

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  17. You look FABULOUS in that photo. I'm not being nice. You look REALLY pregnant. I mean really pregnant but you still look great. One chin at nine months, that's pretty good. I'd show you my picture fully pregnant but I banned those at about six months. If you want I will draw you a picture but I will need several protractors to accurately draw the many chins I grew.

    Chin up! One that is! You are FABULOUS! Can't wait to hear all about it!

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  18. haha...I so remember feeling like this too. You are NOT alone! I always had to remind myself that is was ALL worth it in the end! :) Good luck.

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  19. I liked being pregnant with my 1st...the 2nd, not so much. And whereas I kind of would like more, don't think my body could take it. It's funny, I was actually just looking at my belly pics from 5 years ago earlier today and I was HUGE!! I think you look pretty good. I actually have a pic of me in a bathing suit that huge...not so good. Congrats!

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  20. So excited for you, Dwija! Tried to comment on the 2 a.m. burrito post but my phone had 'issues.' I loved how you said "our FIRST Michigan baby" :)

    You are a lovely, lovely pregnant lady :) I hope it eases up on you some (if not a lot!). I liked the Ritz crackers and cream cheese method. And w/ my 4th I did finally try the phenergan. 1 dose and I never needed to take it again.

    ((((hugs)))) and giant congrats!

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  21. Wow! I can truly say that I have never heard such a pro-labor party platform quite like no one expects you to change diapers while you're in labor. Oh my god, that was freakin' hilarious....hilarious I tell you!

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  22. oh I hated being pregnant so much. every second of it. love my babies (twins plus one = three for the price of two) but omg the pregnancies were constant sickness, pain, reflux, no sleeping, etc.
    congrats and hang in there!

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  23. I will pray that this pregnancy is kind to you! I enjoyed being pregnant for the most part; I didn't enjoy heartburn or backache or having food aversions, though.
    I am so happy for you. And that's a very cute picture! You are such a stylish mama!

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  24. With each pregnancy I found it harder to enjoy. Probably because I had 4 in 6 years - so there wasn't a lot of time to lay around, rubbing my belly. And the heartburn, I swear it started as soon as I peed on the stick with the 4th. Now he's 15 months and climbing everything and he made our family complete. Congratulations to you guys!

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  25. I'm nearly 18 years removed from the last of three pregnancies. But some things you never forget. I remember the Christmas I felt like Mary, big as Mary, and it was suggested I could play her role in the annual Children's Christmas Eve service at my church. I didn't. My 10 lb., 12 oz. son was born six weeks later by C-section. The diapers in the hospital were all too small and I had to return a box I'd been given before his birth. True stories.

    I look forward to reading more of your entertaining stories as you journey toward the birth of your fifth beautiful child.

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  26. I love your hair that length and you were all belly! Not enormous at all.

    I'm just...so excited, Dwija.

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  27. Congrats! totally missed original announc. we'll have 5 "together"!

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  28. I'm sorry that the pregnancy thing is not so pleasant for you....I totally get what you are saying. I love seeing a picture of you with a big pregnant belly though! It's so fun to see what someone looked/s like pregnant when you have only known them so far as a non-pregnant person. It's just such a miracle, the whole thing....it makes me want to do it all over again.

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  29. I enjoyed being pregnant with #1-3, then with #4 and #5....nyeh....not so much. but that's okay. love my babies, too. Just not the whole growing them big enough to join the earth. :)

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  30. This is so true. All of it. And i hear you on being enormous: all of my babies have been 10 pounds and above (one was 12 pounds, but I try not to hold it against him). I had one rude person say to me, when she heard I was overdue by a week, "OH! I would have SHOT myself if I'd been overdue!" Thanks. Thanks a lot!

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  31. sorry you are not feeling very good - I hope you can still enjoy being pregnant a little as this is such a wonderful time of life

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  32. It's okay. I've come to terms with the fact that my body works this particular way. I never have high blood pressure or GD and have had 4 complication-free deliveries so far. For all that I'm thankful :). I'll just offer up my pukes and my sleepless nights as I have with all the ones before.

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  33. I have a love/ hate relationship with being pregnant. So far, this second one is going along the same path as the first (bar the very early nausea which prompted me to take a test). So I can expect to enjoy the second trimester (I feel, OMG, normal! Except for the too-big belly already at 3+ months), and suffer painful hips, difficult sleep and stress incontinence come month 7-9.

    But oh I love that I'll have a 2nd one soon!!

    Again, so happy for you, and I hope the next few weeks will be easier on you.

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  34. Awww this was such a great an honest post. And for something with the title 'I hate being pregnant', it was so very sweet! I loved the part about 'you will someday change the world baby'. <3

    Congratulations again! I hope this one goes by fast for you!! :o)

    Jamie
    For Love of Cupcakes

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  35. I'm now at 19 weeks with my first baby and I feel so awful all the time I don't know what to do with myself. I hate being pregnant too. Thank you, as an experienced mom, for being honest about how lousy pregnancy can be. No one I know in real life will admit that it sucks, and if it weren't for my bloggy friends I would think I was the only one that struggles with pregnancy.

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  36. Why didn't I read this yesterday!? I'm glad to have people to whine with. Sounds like lots of us hate the pregnancy part.

    And I miss beer. And wine. And a top shelf margarita on the rocks.

    May the next seven months pass quickly and with little weight gain :)

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  37. The first and third trimesters are the pits - the second was not so bad for me...

    You are one gorgeous pregnant lady in your photo!

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  38. Congrats :D

    I'm 23 weeks along with #7, my oldest is not quite 10, and I'm VERY TIRED! I'm really looking forward to delivering the child and wondering how I will make it through the next 17 weeks or so knowing I'm just going to get bigger. Doing the best I can!

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  39. OH. MY. GOODNESS!

    I disappear from blogland for a while and you go and get pregnant...Dweej! I had no idea!!

    So very happy for you ~ wishing you barf free days and a healthy bundle of joy.

    xoxo

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  40. Oh those first few months are terrible. Congratulations on your pregnancy, hoping the time flies by.

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  41. Dude, I don't look that good when I'm NOT pregnant.

    I hope it goes by fast!

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  42. I am only 13 weeks and I am hating it! I worked so hard for this pregnancy (6 years to conceive and finally via IVF #2) but boy is this hard! I have been sick every waking moment for the last 2 months! I puke at least once per day sometimes more. I have zero appetite! I've lost weight. The worst part is struggling to get something down only to bring it back up! Some days I have wondered how I am going to survive this pregnancy!

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  43. I promise, you will survive. I know it seems like a long tunnel with no light at the end, but that light is there and it will shine SO bright once you hold your baby in your arms!

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  44. I hated all my pregnancies too....there was so much to suffer through...but i would do it again and again because the little people at the end of it are worth so much more than the puking, the heartburn, the tiredness, the aches and pains and being barely able to walk...and even labour...i'd do it again and again for those precious moments when that pink, scrunched up face opens up those deep, navy blue eyes to look at you the very first time with that feeling of something ageless deep in them as if they've been here before! *sigh* can you tell how broody I am!? LOL :D

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  45. Must have missed the big announcement! Congratulations! May your pregnancy be quick so you can hold your sweet baby soon!

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  46. Yeah, I've only had one pregnancy so far but can definitely say I was not glowing! If you can find a copy of "Your Labor of Love" by Agnes Penny, it is awesome. A Catholic look at the joys and "challenges" of pregnancy.

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  47. This is seriously hilarious! I feel the same way. And you are an adorable preggo! Thanks for being there with me! :)

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  48. Hugs! You know where to come when you need a safe place to land :)

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  49. i am crackin up at this post.. you spoke the words every pregnant woman wants to scream but usually doesnt! i hated it to but man were those beautiful babies so worth it.. <3 congrats!

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  50. you're still beautiful even if you're preggy!

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  51. Hi Dwija, thanks for visiting my "new" blog and for sympathizing on my pregnancy rant.. just felt soooo good to get that off my chest. I am glad to find you here, and I think you are a beautiful pregnant woman! Hopefully the water will start tasting good again very soon. Take care!

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  52. ROLF!!! I just found you, commented on your before and after picture page and then intended to get right back to work, homeschooling, and mothering my own four kids through the day, but instead killed another 45 minutes reading your old posts and laughing myself silly. Awesome!! If God grants me any more children (now 40) I will come back here and relive your misery because I felt the same way every day of my last baby back at 35 y.o. and wow is she the light of our life.

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    Replies
    1. I heart making new friends! I mean, sorry I ruined your day and all, but it was totally worth it ;)

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  53. This is how I know I will love...scratch that...already love your blog. I'm prego with numero (is that how you spell it?) three and I'm not exactly loving it. Loving the idea of the baby at the end...not so much the fatness while I try and keep up with the twins. My mom had ten kids, and she'll be the first to tell you that she loves her babies but hated being pregnant...eh, we'll make it through...:)

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  54. oh my gosh i love the way you write. i hate being pregnant (and I've only done it twice!) and dread doing it again but alas it does have a great reward at the end (obviously, not having to change poopies or take out trash during labor)!! thanks for the laugh! you are awesome!

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