Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Thank God Life isn't Fair

Sometimes I just have to take a moment to thank God that life is not fair.  In fact, I don't even like the word fair very much at all.  How can we judge what's fair to the world?  To history?  To the future?  Better than 'fair' is 'good'.  Is 'loving'.  Is 'the right thing for this person at this time regardless of what anyone else wants or expects'.


Fair implies all people have the same needs and wants.  I know my children don't.  That's why I treat them differently.  That's what lifts them up and helps them grow.  Lets them know I value and know them as individuals.  Because they are different from each other.  If everything were fair, they'd all get the same from me at the same level in the same quantity all the time.  And that would be a parenting tragedy.

But as usual, I digress.

Back to this morning, when I was so thankful that life isn't fair.  

First, although I can easily point to a thousand people who have more than I do, can we just take a moment to cherish the fact that I live in the United States of America?  Who, despite her flaws, is not North Korea. Is not Iraq.  Is not Somalia.  Check me out with my right to vote and this here unlimited access to safe drinking water.

But more specifically, I really am, personally, so lucky.  Yesterday I enjoyed a short but inspiring email exchange with a reader about question #10 on my last post.  The difference between God's invitation to us and our continual acceptance of said invitation.  "Wow.  I'm so lucky that blogging allows me to explore and expand my faith" I thought.

Then, well-  then there was a bit of a Christmas miracle.  And by "a bit" I mean "a full fledged".  Because I checked my other email address and in it was a a gift.  An e-card from "an old friend" (that's how it was signed.  So I don't know who to thank!) to Amazon.com that was literally enough to pay for all of my children's Christmas presents.  Do I need to write the word "all" in caps just so you can appreciate the scope of this beautiful gift?  Not that every gift isn't beautiful, but when it's anonymous, how else can I thank them except by sharing it here?

And to top it all off, as if that wasn't enough to make me high-five tiny baby Jesus not-yet-in-the-manger, Tommy checked his email this morning to find a real, honest to goodness request for an interview for a real honest to goodness job that he applied for months ago, which he had given up hearing back about.  Yay! January 5th!  Which will make our enjoyment of the next couple of weekends oh so much easier.

If life were fair, everyone in need would have magical Christmas money from anonymous fairies of good-will.  Or no one would.  If life were fair, every woman would have the opportunity to do something she loves from the comfort of her laptop.  Or no one would.  If life were fair, every person without a job would be going into Christmas looking forward  to an interview in two short weeks.  Or no one would.

But thankfully, mercifully, life is not fair.  And so here I am, doing something that makes my life better, being thankful for old friends and their immense generosity, and reveling in renewed hope for an end to this rocky job-hunting road.  This unfair life makes me a thankful, lucky girl.

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38 comments :

  1. Wonderful, wonderful unfair life. Love your outlook. Love you.

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  2. I've been sitting in my office stressing over so many things left to do on my endless lists. Then I read your post and it warmed my heart on this dreary, rainy day in New York. Reminded me to be thankful and more focused in that everything will fall into place.

    It's all about faith..and prayers. He does listen...

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  3. This is a beautiful post and my best wishes to you and your family for a memorable Christmas.

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  4. what an amazing post full of amazing details! happy holidays to you and your family. :)

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  5. What wonderful gifts to receive. Here is praying that more come your way friend. (no it wasn't me who sent the Amazon gift card but what a great way to bless someone)

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  6. wow, I never thought of it that way....the part about "or no one would". I am also glad life isn't fair. I think I am a pretty lucky girl to live where I live and have the life I have and I am so so thankful for it, but I can't help but wonder what the purpose is for all of the *extreme* suffering in the world....like, especially those you mentioned in N. Korea, Iraq, Africa...the starving/dying children really really get to me. I just want to go and feed them all, all of them.

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  7. A Merry Christmas indeed at your house!!

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  8. I think people confuse "fair", "equal" and "just" all the time.

    It's all part of the disintegration of our language.

    And really, the point of all this is: Congrats on the job interview, Tommy, bless you Anonymous Gifter, and hurray for clean drinking water!

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  9. what wonderful surprises! and I just love your life outlook too....you always remind me how blessed my family is. :-)

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  10. Yay, yay and YAY for it all. Life isn't fair but it sure has a way of figuring itself out although one might not see it clearly at the time. Very, VERY happy for you Dweej. Merry Christmas.

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  11. Life is not fair, nor is it equal. I have to explain this to my students often. However, being aware of blessings site makes it sweet.

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  12. Beautiful, kind and generous, Dwija, I am so happy for you and thankful for the love and beauty in others. Merry Christmas to you, your family and anonymous angels everywhere.

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  13. As my husband says when I say things like "I don't deserve such a wonderful husband/family," "Thank goodness we don't get what we deserve in this life."

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  14. Aww, such a heartwarming post. Hurray for old friends (and new ones)!

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  15. You are just full of awesome. Love it.

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  16. You should bottle you attitude and give it away as a gift, that's surely what it is!

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  17. You have such a wonderful outlook to life. Any blessings you and your family receive - are all well-deserved.

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  18. That is so beautiful!

    May you all have a very Merry Christmas!

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  19. OH wow!!! What an amazing old friend! ;) Good point on the 'or no one would'. Never thought about it that way! Hope you have a HAPPY HOLIDAYS friend!!!

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  20. Dwija, I just wonted to make sure you received a Meijer gift card a few weeks ago - I have been so blessed and I hope it helps through this rough spot! Blessed Christmas to you and your family.

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  21. Gasp! Yes! Oh my goodness...I sent out a "thank you" on facebook, but it came in the beginning of my throes of sickness when I could barely put two coherent thoughts together. Ugh, it has been such a rough few weeks, energy-wise, and I am so sorry I didn't post about it. It is a LOT of money and I hope to use it to buy a new infant car seat for the brand new baby. When we get it, I'll do a whole post for you!!!! :)

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  22. so heart warming! I bet miracles happen around all of us everyday, but we either miss them or give someone besides God the credit. God bless that person who heard Him whisper in their ear!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family!

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  23. It is a gift to be grateful during times of stress! You rock, Dwija! I will be storming heaven about Tommy's interview! What kind of job is it?

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  24. I am so happy for you! To whomever sent that anonymous gift, YOU are awesome!

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  25. What a fabulous day! When I had a classroom I used to have that conversation with kiddoes: "fair" means getting what you need, not getting what someone else gets just because it is the same. When you work with kids with special needs, this is especially important to explain, but then again we all have our own strengths and needs.

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  26. Inspiring. Uplifting. Beautiful. Your writing. Your outlook. Your faith. Your appreciation for life. Thank you for all the blessing you have bestowed upon me via your writing.

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  27. LOVE THIS! So much. And also, you! You're awesome, friend!

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  28. thank you Dwija - I am blessed to help you out and I'm happy to do it - to you and your family a very blessed Christmas and praying for a prosperous New Year to you -- I don't need thanks or praise, just like to make sure people get things I send. Blessings!

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  29. Wonderful, beautiful, and yay for gift fairies. Merry Christmas!

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  30. WOW that is absolutely INCREDIBLE!! Do you have any idea who it could be?? And yay for your hubby's interview - great news all around!

    Jamie
    For Love of Cupcakes

    [P.S. Did you get my e-mail?]

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  31. What a beautiful post. God is so good! Have a blessed Christmas! (You're already off to a great start.) ;-)

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  32. Good luck on the interview!!! And Merry Christmas :)

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  33. Like countless other posts of yours I read this but initially didn't comment. Just thought you should know I LOVE this. And you! And your amazing, super-hearted outlook!!

    Wish even just a few more in the world thought like you... imagine the wonderfully unfair :) and very good changes that could take place! You have made many yourself I am sure though, through both your writing and your motherhood.

    From now on when things are going especially great? I am going to put a huge grin on my face, jump up & down, and shout, "Woohoooo! This is so totally unfair!!!" ;D (Seriously I'm going to!)

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  34. Haha! Yes, please do, E.! The image of "not fair" being a joyful exclamation brings a big smile to my face :)

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