(1)
At Tommy's new job (!!!!!!!!!!!), they gave him 17,982 packets of information and forms, a window parking decal, and an employee security i.d. Oh, and a black pique polo with the company logo on the chest. So the other day he takes out the polo to wear it and finds this tag attached:
(2)
What the.....?Someone got paid to write that? And then they actually printed it onto tags? And then someone affixed said tags to said shirts using itty bitty safety pins?
Well, I guess I've figured out what's wrong with the world, folks. Things are just stupid. Too, too stupid.
(3)
Negative Nelly be gone!
(4)
My boy is five. Until recently, everything he drew was a car.
The same car.
Basically a lima bean on wheels.
And that was it.
Once, I asked him to draw a fish, and he drew that car. So I asked him to draw a fish driving the car and he drew a smaller car inside the first car and called it a fish.
But then something happened. We turned some kind of corner or he had some sort of epiphany, probably both, and he realized that he can draw ANYTHING HE WANTS TO DRAW JUST BY LOOKING AT IT.
(I don't know what that means, either. Work with me.)
(5)
Holy cow, guys. I started writing this FOUR hours ago. See, I keep the laptop on the counter between the kitchen and the dining room. I write or work or check the twitter and the facebook....Ack! Just c...
Okay for real, I'm just going to finish...
Blergh! See? Holy cow.
(6)
Insert segue here...I'm not super culinarily (how is that not a real word?) talented yet somehow my children and husband have managed to survive without either daily restaurant prepared meals or family dumpster-diving parties. I've been thinking about sharing some of my quick and easy no-campbell's-soup dinnertime recipes for the non-cookery types. Would you guys be interested in something like that?
(7)
PICTURE!
Well, now we know pretentiousness is not limited to people, but can be found on clothing tags as well. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteBuck up! Now that Tommy has the shirt, he is part of the "TRUE artisan lifestyle". Unlike the rest of us schlubs, who're shuffling around in our FAKE artisan lifestyles.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I think that marketing departments hire drunk hipster monkeys to write their ad copy.
Could they not have hired extra drunk hipster monkeys to edit for comma errors? :-) It's a nice font. Maybe they were hoping no one would read it. Now look how many of us have read it- fancy polo shirt prose goes viral, courtesy of House Unseen.
DeleteSeriously. The comma usage is absolutely the worst part. Followed closely by the actual word choice in the last sentence. Gag!
DeleteWell, you did beg for punctuation the other day on Twitter.
DeleteAll the commas from craigslist fell off and landed on that tag...the poor things.
DeleteSeriously. lol!
DeleteYou're too funny. I love the Spongebob and Mr. Krabs drawing. Perfect.
ReplyDeleteI'm always up for some good, easy, new recipes!
ReplyDeleteI love that tree shot! Jealous. Can I move to your piece of heaven? Is the house next door for sale? I need some land & some mature trees.
ReplyDeleteI think you need a drink. ;^)
ReplyDeleteI love recipes! Also - I appear to have the same level of posting ADD as you do. I started mine early this morning and just finished about an hour ago. Also also - I just almost wrote a bad word instead of ADD. ACK! Yay for remembering to proof read before commenting! Today has been more fun than a barrel of spider monkeys snorting blow...I need more coffee.
ReplyDelete#1 Wow.
ReplyDelete#4 Aw!
#6 Yes, please.
I'm always game to see recipes, so yes!
ReplyDelete#1 baffles me. What?
yes-food tips!!
ReplyDeleteFood tips are always welcome! And maybe we all have some ideas to trade!
ReplyDeleteNow, on to the tag...those pretentious tag writers could have at the VERY least, included a sampling from wine country. How is one to judge whether or not the shirt does indeed represent said wine country if a sampling of its product is not made available???!! Gee-zow.
You need a vacation...perhaps to wine country. Or at least to Lansing...there's a Catholic women's conference there tomorrow...
-Heather
Food tips are always welcome! And maybe we all have some ideas to trade!
ReplyDeleteNow, on to the tag...those pretentious tag writers could have at the VERY least, included a sampling from wine country. How is one to judge whether or not the shirt does indeed represent said wine country if a sampling of its product is not made available???!! Gee-zow.
You need a vacation...perhaps to wine country. Or at least to Lansing...there's a Catholic women's conference there tomorrow...
-Heather
i want to read a book in a tree! 'tis the life, no?
ReplyDeleteI find the shirt to be slightly oak-y, and presumptuous without being pushy, with a blueberry finish.
ReplyDeleteThe drawings are spot on! I love it when something clicks for my kids!
Yes, please, I need more dinner ideas, although I made a lemon ginger beef stirfry that was fantastic last night, and it was a super cheap cut of beef!
Loved them all too much to address each one. But yes on the recipes please!!! And I want the spongebob/crabs picture for my fridge please!!!! So ridiculously cute :) *Been writing this since noon...
ReplyDeleteWow, that was a waste of a clothing tag.
ReplyDeleteThat tag is just weird.
ReplyDeleteThat tag....is. awesome.
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't be half as funny if it wasn't real...
I think there's probably a former English major working at the shirt factory . . . or a wine-aholic?
ReplyDeleteAnd I would love some new easy recipes that don't involve cream-of-something soup. Or eggs and peanuts, 'cause one of mine is allergic. Thanks!
Nancy
Dauqther in the tree enoying a good read...timeless. except that too many kids these days don't get it.
ReplyDeletetaq... fleeting. But job, hope not.
oops, obviously "qs" were dominating the should-be "gs"
DeleteOK gotta add on...after i wrote the above i asked my daughter if she'd read D's post today and she said "OH YEAH! Her girl in the tree!" well, that's my girl here, who then sauntered off to the chicken coop moonlit rooftop to continue her homework...((i'm serious)on this amazing Californian, Indian summers eve. thankdks D.
ReplyDeleteOk, what the heck? That is the most awesome tag in a shirt. I am deeply and profoundly grateful you shared it because I needed that laugh. Since I can't have red wine, I'll settle for laughing at red wine life style apparel. Hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteI like food tips. That's my style, yo. Real food but simple food.
ReplyDeleteThrow those easy recipes my way, stat!
ReplyDelete