Wednesday, November 25, 2015

I'm not dead yet....!

Every time I get an email notification that someone has left a comment on a blog post these days, it's someone extolling the powers of a certain witch doctor to win back a wayward spouse or promises of wealth and fortune if only you (and I ) join the ranks of the Illuminati immediately.

You guys, I don't even know how to blog IP addresses or whatever it is people do when spammers are killin' it in the combox.  But more importantly the only comments I'm getting are spam because I don't blog anymore.   So depressing.

Hey, I'm finally starting to feel betterish!  As long as I don't go too long between snacks and don't go overboard on the sugar and don't try to chug water, especially not on an empty stomach, I can pretty much do, like, regular things.  Regular is so, so nice.  I actually thought about that this morning while I was getting dressed- about the why of early pregnancy sending everything into shambles, at it goes something like this...

-Shuffle to bedroom with cheese stick in hand to force yourself out of pajamas and into clothing.  Except it's not actually pajamas.  It's the clothes you wore yesterday because you passed out on the sofa before you could change into pajamas.  But it wouldn't have mattered even if you had been able to stay awake because your toddler sleeps in your room and you can't go in there after he's in bed for any reason anyway unless you just love for him to demand to be taken out so he can careen about with a severe case of dying fly syndrome

-Barely avoid losing your breakfast when the waistband of your clean clothing almost imperceptibly brushes against the skin of your abdomen.

-Consider for one millisecond the possibility of picking your clothes and robe up off the floor but realize that you have energy left for only one thing and that thing is making it to the bathroom before you're sick in even worse places.

Lather, rinse, repeat every day until every single article of clothing you own is on the floor of your bedroom, mocking you, taunting you, making all the grossness of the gross seem even grosser because HOW WILL YOU EVER BE ABLE TO PICK THEM UP WITHOUT ANY FABRIC EVEN TOUCHING YOUR STOMACH IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM?  You won't.  This will go on forever.  Is there even anything in the world except trying to live to see the next day?  Lord help me.

Anyway, basically that would have been my exact blog post for the past 8 weeks, which would have probably gotten old, especially considering all the fragment/run on/all caps sentences up in here.  But tomorrow I will be 16 weeks so maybe maybe maaaaaaaaaaaybe I'm over the hump.

Hey, we're part of a nativity peg doll swap.  Wanna see the beginning of our herd of donkeys?

They have cute little tails on their bums and will soon have little saddle blankets so that Mary doesn't get sweaty donkey hair all over whatever maternity dress she had to wear while riding a friggin' donkey from Nazareth all the way to Bethlehem.

I'm having a lot of empathy for pregnant women right now, okay?

Oh!  Last thing!  I mean, there have been a thousand things, but in case you missed it on IG, we done taked our Christmas picture (long live the timer on the camera on the tripod and me running back and forth hollering "eyes open, wide open eyes....." over and over again) and got our cards back already.  Voila:

Isn't it fun?  I can't believe we made it work.  God bless Photoshop, mhmmmmm.

Happy Thanksgiving, guys.  I'm excited to not be on the brink of death anymore.  Enjoy your correctly prepared bread cube and sage stuffing with no additional ingredients such as fruits, nuts, or meat!

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  1. You of all people deserve real blog comments!!!! That Christmas card picture is adorbs and I think and a Canadian I need to avoid all social media tomorrow because the lack of thanksgiving this week may be too much for me to deal with... My beef and barley soup tomorrow night will not compare to Turkey. Damn you meal planning, and. Damn you Canadian thanksgiving that was a month and a half ago and does not compare to the magic of thanksgiving in America...

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  2. A comment that's not spam! (I promise!) Such a fun Christmas picture- I love the way John Charles is looking at you. We miss you around the blogosphere! I hope the feeling better continues (and improves!) =)

  3. I hope you are able to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner! And I love your card!!

  4. Guurrrrrrl, preach! I have blogged exactly twice since I found out I was pregnant. I was so tired and sick and I was worried all that would come out would be "I'M THROWING UP ALL THE TIME AND EVERYTHING HURTS AND SMELLS WEIRD WHY SWEET LORD WHY AUFHFJDKDUGHHH" and I just didn't think the internets needed that.

    SO glad you're feeling semi-normal and can almost do regular things again. Regular things are the bomb dot com. Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. Yay for regular feelings! Yay for no more nausea! Mine wasn't nearly as bad as yours but oh Lordy the tiredness. My blog is almost deadsies, too. Not that I want it to be but I'm just sooooo happy consuming Netflix at an alarming rate (between naps, o' course) that the idea of outputting ideas in written form seems... laborious.

    Your photo is great. If I manage to get cards done this year it will be no small feat.

  6. In case you haven't put on the donkey's saddle yet, and want something a little easier: The donkey has a cross-shape on its back and legend has it that it was a mark God gave the donkey because it carried both Mary and Jesus. other news, I'm glad you're feeling better, and AMEN to no fruits nuts or meats in stuffing! A friend once put the organ meats in the stuffing she brought and I couldn't handle it...and I didn't even have a pregnancy excuse! (Sorry, I hope that remark wasn't as bad for you as something brushing your tummy.)

  7. While I disagree with your stuffing preparations (fruit, nuts, and sausage in mine and it is soooo good.) I wholeheartedly empathize with your first trimester woes and do not for a second envy you in any way. I love babies, will have more of them probably, but God help me if that first trimester is not Purgatory on earth because I don't know if I can handle the real thing. I hope the rest of the pregnancy gets better for you!

  8. You're baaaaaaack! Yay!!! I'm so glad you're feeling better and I pray it continues. Make sure all those bigs take good care of mama this weekend and don't wear yourself out.

    I've spent the last 14 years (good grief where does the time go?) making Daddy deal with moving the toddler out of our room because morning sickness 24/7/24 weeks. I highly recommend outsourcing that job. (Yes, they could all have moved out sooner, but excuse excuse excuse.)

    Happy Thanksgiving! And love the card. :)

  9. My readership is so small, I don't even get spammed! :)

  10. Oh gosh, the first trimester...shudder!! This time last year I was just finding out I was pregnant and had a couple blissful weeks before the morning sickness hit hard. I always blame myself in the moment for not doing all the regular stuff and then afterwards I feel normal again and I'm like "pshaw, it's a wonder I even took a shower those whole 9 months...nah I did good" lol! But in the moment it's all mommy guilt.

    I hope this is truly you coming out of the first trimester blahs and you can get back to blogging. I feel like we totally need an update on the new house and how all the little projects are coming along! My DIY addiction must be satisfied through blogs because we can't DIY anything in the rental.

  11. You poor thing! Sickness is the pits, and I'm so glad you are on the upswing!

  12. During my first pregnancy I spent a lot of time dwelling on the continuation of the human race and wondering how any second (or subsequent) babies were born, ever, because pregnancy is so, so, so bad.

    PS - I've apparently forgotten how to log into blogger for commenting so...we're all rusty.

  13. I'm glad your feeling normal ish. You've been missed. Thank goodness for IG. The fam jam and the donkeys look stellar!

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  15. 😂 This is not a spambot. I repeat, this is NOT a spambot. So glad you're alive!! Hang in there, you amazing lady!

  16. This comment is not spam! But as it happens, I'm stuck in a foreign country and my money and ID were stolen! If you wire me $10,000.00 I will pay you back double in as little as two weeks! And also you will lose weight fast!!

    But seriously... We know how it is. The first trimester is all woe and dry heaving and sleep. Rest yo self!

  17. Making stuffing for the first time tomorrow and using fruit, nuts and meat- your making me self conscience of my choices!!!

  18. Long live the sage stuffing! That has to be the longest thread ever with people vehemently opposing in a nice way :)

    Also, inquiring minds want to know - is this belly rivaling the John Charles belly of legend?

  19. I bet that spammy witch doctor could have cured your morning sickness, though! :P

  20. 😂 This is not a spambot. I repeat, this is NOT a spambot. So glad you're alive!! Hang in there, you amazing lady!

  21. My first trimester mantra this time around has been "all the food in this house smells like FOOD! Dangit why does the food always smell so much like FOOD?!" Insert tears and wailing and couch naps.


    Anyway I love your blog, and your IG feed and I think you are the cat's pyjamas. And yay for having another baby even though it's the most gruelling thing EVER.

  22. And she's baaaaack! (Said like the genie in Aladdin.) Now commence post on how you handle homeschool while so sick. -Farmandaway

  23. I didn't want to be pathetic and beg you to blog again, but oh my am I glad you're back and feeling better!

  24. I didn't want to be pathetic and beg you to blog again, but oh my am I glad you're back and feeling better!

  25. oh my brain,,,my brain, my brain....I was all, "wait, is she pregnant? I don't remember that, when did she say that, she didn't say that..."...and I read and read and found the post where you said you were pregnant...and my comment congratulating you. Oy.


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