Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Paul, who wasn't born in the van after all...

Tomorrow is my boy's birthday.  Four.  He's four years old.  Four.  He's practically ready for his driver's license you guys!  God save us all.

In celebration, because every four year old boy likes to look at red-butted monkeys but mostly because we have free tickets, we'll be visiting the Binder Park Zoo and feeding some lettuce to the giraffes.  With a high of only 81 today and clear, pale blue skies, it promises to be a great day.  And even if it's not, we'll all remember it fondly, which is really what matters anyway, right?

SO....I thought I'd share my Paul-y-wog birth story with all of you to commemorate a very exciting day.  And also because it's already written and we've got some presents to open.  You've heard that thing about me being lazy, right?

Paul Anthony Borobia arrived on Friday, August 24th at 8:27 am, weighing 7lbs, 6oz and measuring 19 inches long. I had not planned on an unmedicated delivery, but when we arrived at the hospital at 8:10 am, it became apparent quickly that there wasn't time for anything but pushing! But the whole thing starts with an email, so let's start there...

"As you may notice, it is, like 3:30 am. I got up around 2:30 just to go potty (and was thankful I had slept all night until then), smashed into the foot board, tripped over a pillow, stubbed my toe on the stupid baby bathtub in the bathroom, said bad words, woke up Tommy, and proceeded to start having contractions....again. Dangit! So I got back in bed hoping to go back to sleep, but I can't sleep through them, so I drink some water, start choking on it, get mad at the water, purposely exclaim loudly about how evil the water is so as to wake Tommy from his peaceful slumber (hey, if I'm not sleeping, neither is he!), then grumble grouchily when he is able to immediately go back to sleep. So I don't bother timing the stupid, evil contractions (can you tell I'm totally over this whole thing?) and decide that I need to eat some toast. But then they got stronger while I'm getting out the jelly and I decided that fine, I might as well at least note the time-


Hmmmmm, looks promising ( but that's pretty normal these days!) so we'll see what happens from here...

So I wrote the rest of the email, and while writing, inserted contraction times: 3:51, 3:58, 4:05...
At that point I was pretty confident that it was the real thing, but I didn't want to have Tommy call in to work, have his brother/sister/mom/whomever get up and drive to our house, just to have them stop, or to arrive at the hospital only to have them tell me to walk around.  Or worse- sit and wait.

But by the time Tommy's alarm went off at 5 am, I had decided he was staying home.  I wasn't quite at an urgent place psychologically, though (although apparently I should have been!), so we waited and chatted. Finally, at 6:30, he called his sister and his brother, so that at least one of them would be ready to come and watch the girls. Please keep in mind that we just moved the previous Saturday, so instead of being 2 blocks from the hospital, we are several exits down the highway. This small difference ends up almost being a big, huge problem...

Tommy's brother John lived the closest at the time, so he decided to come first.  But "Oh, there's no rush" we say and "Take your time" we say.  So he believes us and takes a shower and gets ready at a leisurely pace.

Uh oh- now it's 7 and I am beyond discomfort. The girls are up and starting to get nervous- my sweet Katie is 6 and little Lizzy just 5. They're excited and trying to comfort me.  If you've ever had a baby, you'll know that "comfort" is not really the first word that comes to your mind when a five year-old climbs on top of you while you're laying on the couch trying to find some small moment of peace.

At this point, Tommy is preparing an elaborate and delicious breakfast for all of us and asks calmly "Honey, are you even going to want any of this?"- at 7:30 am. One hour before delivering my child. "Noooooooooooo....I can't do this......we have to leave now.....I'm going to have this baby in the car.....where's John?!?!?!?".

Oh thank god, he's pulling in right now. The phone is now ringing off the hook. I'm trying to call my OB and the hospital. Yes, myself. It was not easy. John comes in, I kiss my girls and we make it into the van between contractions. Now I'm like one of those women in the movies, moaning like a fool in the front seat of her vehicle, praying for green lights and no traffic.

Tommy busts out his emergency vehicle driving techniques on the highway, a holdover from his days as an Oceanside police officer. It would have been less hilarious if we weren't in a mini-van.

Now he's weaving between cars and rolling stops through intersections.

I'm freaking out in the passenger seat.

We're stuck now behind a semi-truck on the 2 lane road leading from the highway to the hospital. The windy, long, 2 way road mocks me the entire way.

I look at the clock- 8:07. "Won't it be great if Paul thinks it's funny to be born at 8:24 on 8/24?" I ask. And by "great" I mean "totally awful", thinking of course that I have at least a little bit of time and that 8:24 really is a joke.  Because they say if you can still tell jokes then the baby is not about to be born. So maybe I should tell some jokes so I don't have this baby in my vehicle.  See how logical I am?

Then finally...
wheel chair-
O.B. racing down the hall, scrubs clutched in her hand-
nurses scrambling to get my room ready-

"Just put this gown on..." Holy crap, a gown? You have GOT to be kidding me...

Dr. checks me, for the first time in my labor and I hear this: "She's complete, at plus 2 station. I need a tray please. Okay Dwija, on the next contraction, just wait, but then after that, we're gonna start pushing."

Pushing!?!?!? No! I'm not ready! I want my epidural! I want some water. I want anything. I want someone to turn off QVC that's on the t.v. in the room. I want more time, that's all...just a little more time.

Sorry, no can do. And now it's time to push. 1 contraction down and I realize that the hard part's over. This pushing business is nothing compared to what I was feeling in the van. Okay, I can do this. And the fastest way for it to be over is for me to have this baby, so we're just gonna make this happen.

2nd contraction and they're counting to 10. Screw 10! I'm gonna have this baby. I have great lung capacity and strong abs for a pregnant woman and he is coming out. Tommy could tell. "C'mon honey" he whispers in my ear "he's right there. Don't stop, don't stop!".


He's here! Wait a second- unwrap the cord from his neck and here comes the rest of him. Relief.

Now I hear a voice, my voice- "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed are you amongst women, blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus..."

And just like that the panic turns to joy.  The confusion to gratitude.  I bask in the glory of a miracle.

Happy birthday, Paul. We love you!

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  1. What a great story! Of course, having a baby in a car is one of my worst nightmares, so I was a little worried for you. Hope you have fun celebrating with your boy!

  2. Awwwwww!! I love birth stories! And this was a great one! Happy birthday Paul!!

  3. You looked so radiant in the picture - how did you manage that?? I refused to have pictures taken after I had the baby lol.

    Love the birth story.

    Happy Birthday Paul!!!

  4. I hate blogger. It make me comment as anonymous and then lost it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL.

  5. Great birth story (similar to one of my moms) and happy birthday to Paul. I hope y'all have a great time at the zoo!

  6. His birth sounds like my last one - labor was 2.5 hours start to finish, and she was born 20 minutes after we got to the hospital (like you, I was 10cm and ready to push when we got there).

  7. But also, Happy birthday, Paul! (I had that in my earlier comment but it got cut off somehow...)

  8. That was one of the best birth stories I have ever read! And, being a birth junkie, I read a TON of them! Happy 4th birthday to Paul!!

  9. Happy Birthday, big guy! Hope you have lots of cake!
    And yes - you do look beautiful in that pic!

  10. 1) that was AMAZING
    2) WHO.. no seriously, WHO looks THAT GOOD after delivering a baby... only you sista friend.
    3) Happy birthday Paul!

  11. My Charlotte arrived in a very similar manner. I was also thankful not to have her in the car on the highway. Happy Birthday Paul! And you do look FABULOUS!

  12. Hold on. That is how you looked in the hospital AFTER HAVING A CHILD WITH NO PAIN MEDS? I don't look like that now, my "baby" is two, and I exfoliate regularly.
    My love for you is wrapped up in bitterness now.

  13. Happy Birthday Paul! What a great story!

  14. Great story!!! I never wrote down the birth stories for my kids....maybe I should do that before I forget everything! My second was very similar, except labor started when my water broke so we got to the hospital a little sooner. Labor was 4 hours start to finish, but I think I was at the hospital for an hour and half or so. No epidural though and I know what you mean about the pushing being comparitively easy! I was so suprised by that!!

    Also, seriously, you look amazing in that photo! Better than I do on a daily basis!

  15. love it! I finally got to read the story, I knew that it was a close call for a car birth, but you express it wonderfully in your writing! Happy Birthday to Paul....Mandy's birthday is around the corner!

    Hope you guys are well...

  16. Holy cow!! What an amazing birth story your sweet boy has! And that picture of you is gorgeous! You do NOT look like you just had a baby! FOR REAL!! Anyways, happy birthday to your son...we share a birthday :)

  17. Okay, you guys are SO sweet!

    The only reason I look presentable in that photo is because apparently , if you blow dry your hair and put on make-up two hours before your baby is born, then some of it will still be left over when they start taking pictures.... :)

    1. that is awesome... I actually thought about this with my 3rd but dang it all we almost had her in the car so there just wasn't time!

  18. I love this story. I love Paul and happy birthday to him. I love you and Tommy. and I too love how radiant you are in this photo!

  19. Happy birthday, Paul!

    Despite the title being a total spoiler, I was still worried that Paul would be born in a van. Not that there's anything wrong with van babies...

  20. What a great story. I always envied you fast labor people. Mine seem to linger on for days and weeks. With one of my kids I was ready to leave the hospital because I was done with laboring. I was going to go home. But that is a story for another day. Happy birthday to both of you.

  21. You look pretty good in the picture for just having had a baby! I looked like the wrath of God for weeks afterwards!

  22. Wait,why do you look like you are there visiting a woman who just had a baby and not the woman who just had a baby?

    I love you, but I am now bitter. You don't even have PREGNANT FACE!

  23. I got goose bumps when I got to the "Hail Mary..." part. What a wonderful story!

  24. All choked-up here, reading this and getting chills.

    Good Lord, Dweej, this was like when my son John was born only he was almost a Pontiac station wagon baby. He was born... 16 minutes after my water broke. All of my three were spontaneous births.

    Beautiful, heartwarming story and the Hail Mary was wonderful!

    Birthday Blessings to Paul!

  25. wow this is so nice that a Paul, who wasn't born in the van after all...

  26. Oh man, when you got to the Hail Mary I just about lost it weeping. What a story!! Well written, to boot :)

  27. Yay!
    Born to the sounds of QVC. Now that's classy!

  28. You write an awesome birth story!

    This sounds like my Jules, born May '11, my second -

    we had just moved TO Vermont, around the corner from the hospital (whereas it was an hour drive for #1 and clueless about what labor felt like. We arrived about 12 hours too early for that one!)- so with my 27 hour experience with #1 and the hp so close, I was determined to contraction it out at home til it got uncomfortable. This time I also let my husband touch me, and surprisingly, this made all my pre-transition contractions melt into much easier (-er, not -y mind you!) experiences - so uh oh, when transition hit, my mom, dad, 2.5 yo son and my sister ALL saw me moan, cry, yell, and say "I don't want to have this baby in the kitchen!" while hubby ran for the car - he also did a great job running the yellows and parking right outside the ER doors. We forgot our camera too!

    I must be wussy-er than you though Dwija - though very uncomfortable arriving at the hospital (ER, wheelchair, glares at the admitting staff for not rushing me through), I still had 1 hour til true pushing time. I think she was born about 90 minutes after we pulled in. Nonetheless, it felt pretty adventurous!!!

    My #1 is Nathanael (& middle name Paul!) so he celebrates his feast today (along with my mom's bday) - a special day for us too. Enjoy the gift of your little man!

  29. I'm totally emotional today after taking Liam to meet his FIFTH GRADE teacher, but you made me cry! Happy Birthday, Paul!

  30. Wow! What a birth story! I was on the edge of my seat. Happy birthday to Paul! Too bad he didn't make 8:24 on 8-24. ;)

  31. We had a really quick one like that—Meg of www.piercedhands.com. You're making me smile, remembering her birth. God bless Paul and your whole family!


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