When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, you will know the depths of my lunacy. I will stop being "charmingly quirky" (I like to pretend that's how you all think of me) and start immediately being "just a leeeetle too off her rocker." For weeks I've been not telling you all of this, in fact, because INSANE.
But guess what? Insane people do stupid things! Like admit their cray cray all over the interwebz!
Until about a week or two ago, I was feeling fantastic. Besides the actual having of the belly, there really wasn't much to complain about. Then all of a sudden, it was like I was full term: Measuring full term. Can't roll over in bed. Can't sleep. Can barely walk. Irritable uterus.
NB: irritable uterus for me apparently means that every. single. thing. I do causes contractions. That means no exercise. Even walking or standing for too long causes them. And if I ignore them and try to "walk through" them, they get stronger and that is scary. So I drink a lot of water and go to the bathroom once a dang hour, every hour, and lie on my left side way more than a healthy woman of almost 34 years should.
And for the very first time in any pregnancy, I have felt the horribleness that is referred to as "round ligament pain", which as far as I can tell means "it feels like someone is tearing the skin on the underside of your belly into pieces." Hello painful shuffle to the fridge for more snacks.
And can we just talk about the level of movement that is going on in there? It is ridic. If there's not a contraction happening, there is enough Tango de la Muerte that commences to start one pretty soon after. Oh yes, the baby makes contractions too. Happy dayz.
Last night I had something pushing on a bottom rib, something pushing against my hip bone, and hiccups going on....way down there. Tres comfort.
When I sit down, I have to sit up fully straight. There is no room for slouching.
It feels like baby is going to fall out any second.
And tomorrow, tomorrow, I will barely be 30 weeks.
How about a photo a day early since I'm having a spaz attack all over your eyeballs?
|don't I do such a good job of pretending to look like a reasonable person?|
So here is the part where you find out how ridiculous this pregnancy is making me. What if, despite the fact that I have received an actual ultrasound at 20 weeks which claimed that there was just one baby, there are really two in there after all?
I know! Lunacy. But of course I asked all knowing google the other night in a fit of sleeplessness and was informed that there is a 1% rate of missing a twin when the one and only ultrasound is performed after 18 weeks. And look at how huge I am. I'm 5'6" tall, bee tee dub. And my fundal height measurement is anywhere between 9 and 11 weeks ahead right now, when in the beginning, ever since my first appointment, it was measuring about 2 weeks ahead.
Because of the crazy weather this winter and my general good health, I have only had 3 appointments with my midwife so far this whole pregnancy. My 4th was supposed to be yesterday and I was going to sob my insane woman ramblings all over her, but then another patient went into labor immediately prior (babies! So inconsiderate of my schedule!) and so we've had to move the appointment to NEXT TUESDAY, which might as well be in a year because I am off my rocker.
Oh! The ultrasound pics! You better believe I started staring at those like the freak that I am the other day and all of a sudden I was like "and what is THAT back there in the shadows???"
And of course you can't see it in this picture of a picture, but it is more obvious in "real life" and yes, you know I've convinced myself that that could, maybe, potentially, if you squint your eyes really hard, be another person.
Y'all I just want to know for sure. If I wasn't having so many of the signs, especially after never measuring large with any of my babies in the past, I would not even be going down this path. But probably I'm suffering from pregnancy induced insanity and a little bit of worry about going into a homebirth without knowing all the facts. If there are not two babies in there, why am I measuring so large? Is there any reason for concern? Do I really have the green light for a safe delivery at home for baby? Inquiring minds need to know these things, people.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there it is. Feel free to make me a shirt with a scarlet letter "L" on it for "looney" and never speak to me again. Oy. I've reached a new level of psychosis.
(if you wanna see the whole belly progression, here is 12 weeks, 14 weeks, 16 weeks, 18 weeks, 20 weeks, 22 weeks, 24 weeks, 26 weeks, 28 weeks)