Sunday, March 25, 2012

When not to Suffer in Silence

The other day my two eldest girls had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad fight.  It was awful.  The kind of fight that makes you wonder what kind of derelict mother is raising them and/or pray that they have no younger siblings to ruin with their atrocious examples of behavior.


I don't remember what it was about anymore.  They barely remembered what it was about halfway through their brawl.  And a brawl it was.

"She said this and then I did this and then she responded with this and....blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."  The part that struck me, and stuck with me, is that the younger one, who is smaller and not as strong, was apparently doing something to the elder one, who is much larger and stronger, "for a really long time" and it "really hurt" and she "wouldn't stop."

And besides worrying for the fate of their immortal souls and praying for the Holy Spirit to intervene and somehow take control of the situation for me, all I could think was "If it really hurt so badly, why did you let her keep doing it?"

Click here to read the rest...

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  1. This is a great post....good tension as I tried to figure out your solution.

    Reminds me of when my spiritual director had to give me a shot in the arm so I'd finally stand up to my psychotic roommate in college. I didn't want to have a conflict, but what I was saying to her was, "I don't deserve any space or peace in this room, and you're my boss. It's okay for you to make me unhappy." His advice? Pretend to be Italian if you have to. Don't think out a long speech about what she's doing that is obnoxious, just channel your inner-Italian and say, "What the hell are you doing? It's 2 AM! Take the phone outside." Long story, but ultimately learning to stand up to her, allowed me to meet my husband.

    Again, so glad I found your blog!

    1. I love that you stood up to her and then you met your husband. Sounds like an awesome story! :)

  2. really great insights. this is one of those questions/issues my husband and I talk about over and over. Usually bc I am the one who just wants to walk away and be all 'whatever' and he's the one that's all 'ooh conflict, goody!'


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