Thursday, May 24, 2012

Sleepy Tubbo Needs Advice

I am so tired right now.  Sleepy.  I feel like I could sleep for three days.

The midwife came.  Baby is officially in launch position and everything is looking good.

Oh, except that I've gained 45 pounds.  I asked her to check for triplets, but unless the other two are gestating in my buttcheeks, I'm just a tubbo.

Stop!  Right there!  Don't try to say anything about how great I looked in the 35 week profile shots!  Because brace yourselves- evidence of total chubby-wubbiness pending.  Note how the shirt can't even cover the belly all the way.  AND I'M EATING A POPSICLE!


Do I even need to mention the Amazonian boobage action? Or the thunder thighs? I thought not.  So, despite the fact that baby is still gestatin', today starts  Project drinking only water, eating no sugar, avoiding snacks so as to prevent gestational diabetes and/or breaking my furniture 2012.

Anyway, my two oldest are having a huge argument right now because the boy needs a place to sleep and one of them wants them to share a room together and give Paul his own room and the other one wants to just move Paul's bed into her room with her and call it a day.

The poor boy.  A child without a room!  He can't sleep with Cecilia, because they both still wake up in the middle of the night and wake each other up and make my life a sleepless hell.  A hell that will only be exaggerated with the arrival of New Nugget.  So he's been in our room.  But we can't have him in there anymore because, yes, the impending arrival of New Nugget.

If I'm laboring at night, it won't do to have him in there getting his sleep all disturbed (he is one of those light-sleeper, sensory issues, total meltdown children), and even if I labor during the day, thereafter trying to make a 4 year old boy sleep in a room with a newborn who wakes up every 2 hours is not a good idea.  I mean, it'll be worse than having him in with Ceci!  Ugh.

So that leaves two other bedrooms.  One currently belongs to Katie and one to Lizzy.  Lizzy thinks she and Katie should share a room while Paul takes the other for himself.  But Lizzy is a total slob and an extrovert.  Which is exactly what makes her think this is a super idea and what makes Katie, who is a neat-nick introvert, think it's a terrible idea. Instead, Katie's idea is to just put Paul's bed in her room because all he needs is a place to sleep at night.  All his toys and books are in the play room.  His clothes can stay in the room that he currently "shares" with Cecilia.

Lizzy can give me no reasons that moving them in together would be the better of these two options.  I tasked her with making a convincing argument and using reason to persuade me and she simply couldn't, or maybe wouldn't, do it.

So now she's super mad at all of us and nothing's even changed yet.  And seriously, I'm just too sleepy to go any further with this today.  I need to just put Cecilia down for a nap, plop Paul in front of some Dinosaur Train or something, and go to sleep.

It's the only solution.

I can think of no other.

What would you do about the bed time situation?  It's driving me  all of us batty!

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60 comments :

  1. ah man...I'm exhausted just thinking about it for 6.34 seconds and I am not even pregnant. that popsicle looks sooo good too.

    hhmmm, sleep arrangments. one question: do you have a really big tent? because that would get them all out of the house (hey, fresh air bonus, they sleep better), and mama and nugget would get their zzzzz's cozy inside.

    hat's probably not the most responsible parenting solution I've ever come up with.... :)
    but tempting, non?

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    1. We have a kiddy tent. I could just make Paul sleep in that in the living room!

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  2. I say go with option #2. You can do this! No sugar won't kill anyone! Can't wait to see Little Nugget

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  3. Well, we have 2 sets of bunk beds in one bedroom and all the kids share space...this is because we have very little space; 2 bedrooms. This works ONLY because they are all small (5, 4, 2). I would say the older girls share a room. After all, they really only sleep there, right?

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    1. Now that they're older, Katie especially uses her room when she needs a quiet place to knit or read or decompress. Paul only uses a room to sleep. So if he had his own, it would seem like a lot of wasted space!

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  4. I would mix up the kids by putting the two who sleep the best together, but hey I am sleep deprived today and my responsible teenager is telling me it is too late in the day for caffeine.

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  5. My advice: Send that unwanted pengin-less boy to Florida to live with us. He can bunk in with the boys. Tell him we have a pool and only one girl. Then get back to me.

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    1. You better hush because he might just take you up on that! The poor thing. SIGH!

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  6. Girls together - as they get older he is going to need his space - so its just a matter of timing WHEN to make the change in my opinion. How about they can go to Paul's room to get a "break" from the other if need be? If all heck breaks loose it can be time out room - or for a night or two when arguments arise. Sharing the space with two total opposites may end up having benefits for each - err hopefully more for Katie so she doesn't have the disaster daily LOL.

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  7. I have been thinking about this, or rather, wondering what you were planning on doing for a little while now. Having had our little light sleeper/meltdown child in our room with the new baby, I can say this was not fun for anyone except the baby who didn't know any better. I guess I can't give much advice since our problem wasn't fixed till she got into her own room. Aren't I so helpful! Anyway I would probably go with whatever solution will induce the most all around harmony in your house. Lizzy might get over being mad about not sharing a room with Katie but if they tend to fight like cats and dogs when they share a room, that fight won't go away as long as they are sharing said room. I don't know if they fight or not, but I fought quite a bit with my sister growing up so that is what I am going on.

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    1. Yes, they fight. A LOT. They fought about whether or not they fight during the fight about whether or not they should share a room again.

      And I'll add that until we moved into this house, they've always shared a room. So we aren't just imagining what might happen. We KNOW!

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    2. And although Paul is a little way off from actually needing his own space, Katie is coming up on a very sensitive age and would probably benefit from having her "own" space more right now. You can always move them around a few years down the road when things will inevitably need to be switched up again. Who knows, maybe by then Ceci will be sleeping better and can share with one of the big girls and Paul can have his own room.

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  8. I like Krista's suggestion. Have Paul's bedroom be the quiet space and the space where he sleeps, and put the big girls together in one room. Eventually, Ceci and the baby can share a room. In the future, build a bunk house for the girls with a bathroom - they will love it!

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    1. And then they won't be in my house and I won't have to listen to their bickering! It's a win-win.

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  9. What about moving Cecilia in with one of the older girls? Whichever one would be a better fit,(probably Lizzy) Then Paul would have his space, Katie would have a place to decompress and Lizzy would have a cute little roommate? It could work.....

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  10. Boy in with extrovert. She won't mind the company, so it's still like having her own room. Put beds so she has less of a view of him.

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  11. Or, coin flip for which of the girls gets boy in her room. Let the fates decide.

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  12. No sleep arrangement solutions here (I got tired thinking about it- so lazy today!)

    I don't know if this will be comforting, but I have thunder thighs that I can't even blame on pregnancy- they just got bigger when I was! Also, popsicles are like drinking water, so you're just hydrating yourself and baby during the summer heat. :)

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  13. Wait, you actually asked them for input? Wow. That could be your issue, m'dear. We never, ever let the kids dictate who gets what room when. I mean ever. It causes fighting, hurt feelings, feelings of persecution, ugliness all around. Whatever you decide (btw, I agree with Kelly's idea), let it be a private decision between you & Tommy and then you announce it to the kids. Remind the that nothing is ever permanent, but that bedrooms are for sleeping in, bathrooms are for privacy. And, yes, they'll complain. So what? They're going to complain no matter what, they already ARE complaining. It's YOUR house, so you make the call. Off rant.

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  14. Mary Kate wise woman. You listen, Woman-Great-With-Child. You become wise.

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  15. Mmmmm popsicles. I have no advice, just commiseration. I'm pregnant, too. Just entered the third trimester and have already hit the weight I swore would be my max this time. Sigh. Is there something bigger than Amazonian boobage, because that's what I have. Also, we're renovating our basement so my teenage stepsons can move down there and my toddler can finally move out of our room into their old room and all hopefully BEFORE Kicky McKickypants makes an appearance. And it's hot today. And I think I'll go have a popsicle.

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    1. Bigger than Amazonian boobage...I think that's where I'm at (at 18 weeks)! I had to go up to a G a few weeks ago! They don't make maternity bras in my size...I'm thinking if they get any bigger I'm gonna have to make "boob slings" for them individually! You know, sorta like those baby carrying slings...over the shoulder, around the boob kinda thing...lol.

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    2. I feel your pain, sister! I'm a G too. I told my sister that and there was a moment of silence. I said "You didn't know there was such a size, did you?" :) Oh, and when your milk comes in, they get even BIGGER. Sigh. I think I need another popsicle.

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    3. Oh yeah, they get even bigger when baby comes. Craziness! Have you checked ebay? That's the only place I can find my freakish band/cup combination.

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    4. I am going to have to check Ebay, last time I measured myself (right before we moved here) it was so depressing. I think I came in at a 38H or something ridiculously freakish like that.

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    5. Breakout Bras actually has the proper sizes and lots of good nursing bras at not-too-extortionate prices. Beats the fancy boutiques (only local places which have my size when I'm pregnant/nursing) which charge you three figures for ONE BRA. What I don't get is that the actual maternity shops don't carry bras except in department store sizes. Come on! We are pregnant. We are not skinny or perky right now. Help us out!

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  16. I am 11 years older than my sister. I also am the oldest of 5. The 3 between us are boys. Long story short, my sister and I were forced to share a room until I moved out...I was the light sleeper and we never had issues other than my complaining at first ;)

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  17. I shared a room with my brother until I went off to college. I preferred him to my insane, loud, messy sister. Her and I would have killed each other if we had shared. Brother and I just learned to get dressed and undressed in the bathroom to avoid awkwardness. I would let Katie keep her room. My older daughter is like her when it comes to privacy and needing alone time, and she is much more pleasant to live with when she has her own space.

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  18. Think more long term. Where do u want them several years from now? Katie and lizzy, if they sleep well at night and are closer in age should share the room. The other stuff is real world growing pains. I have the messy extro and neat freak intro together. Then young boy and baby still in my room! I go to the couch early am so the toddler baby doesn't wake too early.
    If u need sleep and they are safe . . . U will get it.
    Me- I know caffeine well, sleep not so much. Its taking its toll.
    the older girls are mostly doing ok sharing their room. No choice and they know it. Sometimes letting them think they have a choice makes them less able to cope and find some inner god given virtues.
    when I had number four, they were all in my room as dad was deployed. I had no choice and it worked fine for 4 months. Then we moved to our own place.
    Jenne

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  19. And I gain fifty each time. I am much shorter than u. U look great and ready :) I make people really scared for 4 weeks. I defy gravity. Glad munchkin is loaded the right way now!

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  20. Don't you have a barn? Puttee loudest complainer out there and let the other two share a room. ;)

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  21. Simple - move the two older girls into YOUR bedroom (because it's bigger and you can sell it as having enough space for them both). I'm sure you guys never get any sleep anyway so you're probably the two who are using their bedroom the least!

    You move into whoever's bedroom is the next biggest. Or alternatively, you take over the playroom!

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    1. The way our house is laid out, I never thought this would work...but maybe it could. Maybe. It. Could.

      p.s. Although it would make me sad to give up my hardwood floors that I love so dearly! :)

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  22. How 'bout putting Paul in with Lizzy? And leaving capital-I Katie in her own room? Or, option two, go with Katie's idea. The I needs her space, man.

    And quit with the negative self-talk, woman, the calling yourself "tubbo" et al.

    end communication.

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    1. I was so tired and annoyed when I wrote this (can you tell?) that I had my pleasantness filter set to ZERO.

      Feelin' better now :)

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  23. Sounds incredibly complicated. I want to sleep just thinking about your situation.

    I have no viable, clever solutions. I say, let them all camp out in the playroom!

    PS: You are not a tubbo. Amazonian boobs, yes, but not a tubbo.

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  24. Oh My. Bedroom shuffles. Honestly, with many kids we have learned to be flexible. Put the two together who will work best together, sounds like right now, your daughter sharing with your son is the way to go, knowing you can always swap them around if/when they outgrow that situation.
    We have a five bedroom house and are about to have a 10th child, with no signs of the oldest two getting the heck out yet, so we will be looking at this in the relatively near future. Not sure where this baby will live - for the first year or so with us but after that? Who knows? We may have to move one little boy in with two big boys and let our baby girl sleep in with her two youngest brothers. We'll figure it out, I am sure you will, too. Probably, you will have the daughter and son together for a while, and the girls will at some point mature into being sister sisters, if you know what I mean - best buds, and want to room together, especially when the boy wants to mess with all their stuff!

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  25. Having had to share a room with my sister as kids, I can say it would almost be worth while to pop the boy in the living room and save the arguing for another day/year! This is what we eventually did after YEARS of my sister and I fighting like cats and dogs about EVERYTHING! Mind you, we grew up in a tiny single wide mobile home that only had 2 bedrooms, both of which are teeny tiny. So, we (my parents) split up the bunk beds, put me in the smaller room and took my sister's half of the bunk into the living room. After hanging a few curtains around the bed, voila, she had her own space!

    This is also how they are handling my sister, her hubby, and 4 boys living in the same house with my Mother today! The oldest 2 boys sleep on bunk beds in the living room (curtained off to provide privacy and darkness), the 4 year old and baby are in the small room with their parents, and my Mother has the larger room (though not by much) for her own "space" to get away from the rest of the "noise".

    I don't know how Michigan weather is right now, but come Summer time (when it gets really warm at night), I think the pup tent in the yard is an excellent way to get some of the "noise" out of the house at night! I don't think I'd ask the 4 year old to be the one sleeping outside though...the older girls maybe though...

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  26. Hello my Amazonian Boob friend. As you know, I too am in the giganto boobs (a.k.a. udders) and tubbo boat, but hey, it's beautiful outside and Monday is a holiday!
    I say tell girls how it's gonna be for now. If they have a problem, remind them you gave them a chance to decide, but they couldn't agree, so now it's your turn. I really like the tent idea though. My girls have been sleeping on the floor in their sleeping bags for the past two weeks when we just finished building them the loft of their choice. Kids seem to do what they want sometimes, besides, summer in our house is almost always anything goes. Hopefully the new room assignments will work out well enough for you to get some zzzz's before baby comes. If not, reinstall the door to the playroom, put everyone but yourself and Ceci and there, lock the door and let them duke it out! Good luck! Can't wait to hear how it all works out!

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    1. Yeah, I think Tommy and I have made an executive decision because clearly letting them participate completely backfired. Doh!

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  27. Oh come on! What are we thinking? Ask That Donkey Guy! He always knows what to do!!!!

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  28. I haven't read all your back logs yet, so I may have missed this. But is there a reason why two kids-not-babies are waking up in the night? Asthma or diabetes? It sounds like a really hard set up if you're going to have three part-time sleepers. If there is no medical reason for the kiddos to get up, I would sleep train them so they stay put. Elizabeth Pantley has a book, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" I think, that my friend has used with her difficult 18-month-old. My kids slept through the night from week 10-12 onward, so I have not personally had to break habits in older kids, but I'm sure there are plenty of people who have who might have good ideas. If the kids are sleep trained, then who sleeps where will matter less. But I also agree with Mary Kate: your call, you're the boss!
    ~
    And you're not fat. Keep the negative thoughts at bay because they could drown you once you're not pregnant and having a hard time forgiving yourself for eating enough to nurse. Oh wait, did I totally just display my own issues? Oops. Remind me to tell you how much I spent on gourmet ice cream in February.

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    1. Well, only one wakes up at night on her own- the 2 year old, but when she does, it wakes the 4 year old up if he's in the room with her (understandably), so then he's awake and angry.

      She wakes up because of night terrors and/or over stimulation from being such an early talker. Her brain is learning faster than she can process things and it makes sleep fitful.

      My two eldest kids both slept through the night from practically the beginning and I've learned over time that it's just personality and circumstance that causes some to be poor sleepers while others are good at it because I've done the exact same thing with all of them with totally different results. And I used to not believe that...until it happened to me :).

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    2. Hear Hear! I totally agree! Our 3 year old only recently started sleeping through the night nearly 100% of the time. Between the ages of 2 and three she slept through the night about 50% of the time. She talked early, gets night terrors, is easily over stimulated, and pretty bright. He brain is always in overdrive, even when she is sleeping. So she doesn't sleep well. The baby does better and at almost 8 months will sleep about 8 hours at a stretch but still wakes up and cries sometimes once or twice at night although he will put himself back to sleep. When they are in the same room together it is a nightmare because the 3 year old also talks/calls out in her sleep a lot which wakes up the baby, which makes him cry, which wakes her up, which makes her mad. Fast forward an hour or two when everyone is sleeping again and then one of them cries/calls out and the whole nightmare starts over. I have read the No Cry Sleep Solution, and a few other sleep training books (and they did help, a little) but ultimately if the kids are waking each other up and you are due to have a baby in a couple weeks, a lengthy sleep training process is not going to help with everyone's immediate need for more sleep.

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    3. My parents say that I used to wake them up laughing instead of crying as a newborn, and eventually evolved into the nightmare-having insomniac you know and love today.

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  29. Don't put the 2 girls toghether if one of them really doesn't want to , specially if she needs that space to de-stress. I could be a blood bath... trust me

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    1. I think you might be right, judging from the near blood-bath that almost resulted just discussing the matter....

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  30. Oh, my, goodness... that picture cracks me up. I gained 45 pounds in my pregnancy, too. Eating ice cream.

    If you go with Lizzie's suggestion, could you put up some sort of Chinese screen partition? My sister and I shared a room (I was Katie, she was Lizzie), and all I wanted was a nook or corner or something that was MINE, all MINE. My Precious.

    For example: When we played Barbies, Christine would build a Barbie Mansion out of the bunkbeds. I would make Skipper an immaculately detailed room the size of a shoebox. But, oh! What a shoebox-sized room!

    Just a thought.

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  31. Why can't you put Paul in with Lizzy and let Katie have her own room?

    I hate to say it, but I almost wish I had a problem like this. Instead my 5 kids, all under the age of 9, want to play musical beds every night. No kidding. Every single night they ask, "Who can I sleep with tonight?" Like it's some kind of game. It's sleep, people. Just go to SLEEP!

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  32. As far as I can see you have two possibilities. 1. You move Katie and Paul in together and the situation is over, end of story. Or 2. You move Katie and Lizzy in together and see how it goes. It is not a permanent situation so if it doesn't work out you will then have to switch the rooms around again. And perhaps Katie will agree to a trial period like this with some ground rules in place and then everyone can be happy.

    So move Paul and game over or be open to the possibility that in a few weeks (with a new nugget) you will have to move the bedrooms again.

    *sigh* I am exhausted thinking about ti as well. Prayers for an imminent and easy delivery!

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  33. First of all, I could dig up some photos from my pregnancy to show you how NOT tubbo you are (but I think I might have destroyed them all). 45 lbs is not a ton, you look great. Your face doesn't even look pregnant (mine did!).

    Second, having been the introverted neat-freak in a room with not one but TWO explosively sloppy sisters, I totally understand Katie's plight. I'm not sure what's been suggested because I ran out of time to read all those comments... but have you thought of putting Ceci with one of the big girls? She's little enough to not disturb Katie or care about Lizzy's mess. We always had to share rooms as kids, but I'm kind of against co-ed bedrooms past toddlerhood, which means the lone boy would need his own room. Either that, or put the big girls together and put a divider (a screen or a curtain hung from the ceiling) in the room and make Lizzy agree to keep her disaster on her side. I'm not sure I would force an introvert to share a room with an extrovert. Maybe have a talk with Lizzy privately, explain the difference and how important neatness and quiet are to her sister's sanity, and that Katie not wanting to share a room is because of that and not because she doesn't love her sister...?

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  34. Introvert Oldest Sis needs her own space...but if she doesn't mind Paul sleeping in there, that could work at least as a for-now solution, I think. That's my input. ;)

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  35. Love your blog!
    I'm pregnant with #5 too. I almost can't look at your pictures, because I'm trying so hard not to think about what's coming. I'm basking in the middle part (4mo), happy to JUST be tired. Good Luck, Soldier!

    Ugh! The rooming issues never end when you have growing kids! I would put Paul in with Katie (It's great that it's her idea!). The older girls will probably have to share in the future anyway, so I say cross that bridge when you can help them with the transition (girl-drama is exhausting for a tired mama!), and don't have a new nugget on the way any day!

    On the flip side, we have had all our kids share rooms from 1yr on, for various reasons. Some are good sleepers and some not, the transition can be hard, but I have noticed that they all adjust. My worst sleepers were often better, and more secure at night, knowing someone else was close by. Another bonus, you only have to check one room when someone (or two) wakes up crying! We usually try to plan room changes for times when I can deal with sleep deprivation and drink lots of coffee for the first week; ie: not when I'm pregnant.

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  36. I'm the introvert in my family (though not necessarily neat...I have piles, and if you touch my piles the delicate system whereby I can find my stuff when I need it will be ruined). I have at various times had to share a room with my extroverted, put-stuff-on-my-stuff sister, and it was not pretty. I don't have any solutions to your problem (besides "get rid of some kids" or "get more bedrooms" which are obviously not good solutions), but I just wanted to make note of my allegiance to Team Introvert.

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  37. Oh honey! I just read every comment and still can't think of a good, long term solution. Time to think Short-Term! Cuz' who knows what next year will bring (hopefully a lotto win that will let you add on to your house, or a kick-ass 6 figure job for Tommy and you'll move to a 6 bedroom mini-mansion). I'd give Katie her own room and put Lizzie and Paul together for now.

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  38. Why is your candor making me *look forward* to the end of pregnancy? Sigh. Also, you pretty much look like a brunette Christy Turlington in that picture, so it's not quite fair / engendering any sympathy from me. As I crest 200 pounds by November, mark my words.

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    1. Oh Ms. Borges, looking forward to the end of pregnancy is the only sane thing to do because the end means it's almost OVER. OVER!!!! Glorious, and wonderful, and finished!!!

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  39. Little behind on your blog. I say move the girls in together. Olivia is more of an extrovert, I'm an introvert. She never made her side of the bed or hung up her clothes; I always woke up at 6am and made my side immediately. We were polar opposites in many ways but we survived and we're all the better for it. There were rough times but I mostly remember the good times, like making a doll house out of cardboard the summer before my freshman year of high school while listening to Paul McCartney on our tape player. Put them together and let them fight it out with the door closed.

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  40. At least your arms are still skinny. Mine are icky, ridden with cellulite. CELLULITE? Who in the world gets cellulite on their arms??

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  41. Ok, SO, after I delivered my first...having rocketed from 127 lbs to 185 lbs ...yes, yes I did. Anyway when the nurse was doing that massage thing on my uterus, I was all, why is this so squishy, my friend told me it would all go away? She sorta looked at me dumbly and in her French accent said, Dis'? It's fat.
    hahahahaha
    commence brain meltdown of self image 2.8 seconds after delivering first child

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