Monday, December 01, 2014

A Traditions Home

I want to have the kind of home that kids remember.  They'll wax nostalgic to their friends, and then their spouses, about the way life felt during every holiday. Holy Day. About the special plates for those very special meals.  About the multiple nativity sets- each one in a different room.  "The Fontanini.  The wooden one.  That one made out of ceramic from Mexico..."  (I don't have them yet, but maybe I will someday).    About all  the beloved things that let them know something important is happening.

I want a home like that.  I want a house of wishes and memories and traditions.  Of familiar and homey and comfortable and intentional.

There is so much out there about making a home lovely and beautiful and stylish, but when I think about the house I remember most fondly, my grandmother's house when I was young, I don't remember the decor or the paint colors.  No, not really.  Instead it's the little ceramic Christmas tree, the small bowls filled with candy, the feasting.....oh, the feasting.

These things happen over time, I know.  You get to know yourselves better, you learn your kids, you figure out what's most important to your family.  And it takes time.  But I think we've started.  After mothering for almost 14 years, I can see how it could happen.  Finally the beginnings of familiar, of honoring family and friends through food lovingly prepared, of "is it time to get out the ________ yet?" are here.

This house is still so much in its beginning stages.  Most of the walls are bare.  The colors, the floors, the kitchen- there is beauty to be created here and it will have to happen slowly.  And in the meantime, we can still live some magic.















Linking up with Theme Thursday at Clan Donaldson: ThankfulLet's be grateful together.
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18 comments :

  1. It was just this morning my family was talking about traditions and we agreed that it's in the random moments (typically the beginning of a tradition) that we remember the most. I loved reliving our memories. I'm glad you posted this today!

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  2. I love being intentional about traditions, but I think it's hard to know which things will end up being the most meaningful to kids.

    When I met my now-husband and knew that I was going to marry him before he knew that this was how things were going down, I made an effort to fill his senses. I would fill our time together with sensory input, like subtle perfume, walks through crunchy leaves or damp grass, hot coffee, a good laugh. When we were apart, I was rarely in contact with him. Over time, he started to recognize that he felt so much more when we were together. When I left the country for a year, he said he wanted to marry me and we started dating long-distance. I guess I'm trying to say that I think sometimes we fall in love or form deep memories when our senses our heightened and more involved than usual. The holidays are full of that--with the smell, taste, and fun of making cookies, trimming the tree, singing carols, lighting the advent wreath, etc. So if you do want to encourage your kids to really cherish the traditions, maybe think about how to deepen the sensory experience of them.

    Do you guys not have a nativity set?

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    1. Oh, we do! But just one. And I know that's enough. But I have a tender spot in my heart for all the different styles out there- you could spend an age just looking at nativity sets in the world. They just make me so happy!

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    2. Ahhh! Good, I was all, "Dangit Husband! Why did you make me get rid of our second nativity set? That poor Dwija woman has no manger to rest her plastic baby Jesus in and we could have helped."

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  3. Here's to friends close enough to feel like family, food so good you can't stop eating (well beyond the point of prudence), and memories so lovely that give a foretaste of what heaven must be like.

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  4. Love this! Looks like you are off to a good start on making new memories and establishing traditions in your new home!

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  5. I love this. Last year (our first married Christmas), I didn't do much besides putting up a tree and lighting Advent candles when we remembered. This year, I'm starting to feel like we need ALL THE TRADITIONS NOW, because the in utero baby will be able to tell, of course. Maybe we just need to slow down, do what we like every year, and let time sort it out.

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    1. Yes, yes...there it is. Allow it to happen organically or you'll feel more stressed about Not Being Stressed Because this is Advent Darn It and the whole thing devolves :)

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  6. More than anything I don't want my kids to remember the holidays as a time when we should have been happy but mom was so stressed out or depressed (because she was so worried about everything being perfect...). I can fall into this trap sometimes so I just make sure and remember that the smiling and the laughing and the sharing things together is the most important thing they'll remember...how they felt, the closeness, rather than the stuff. (although there will always be things that we associate with the holidays, things that just make the room feel "right"...I like those things...I just wish my kids would stop breaking them! ;) )

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    1. For sure, for sure! There's no homey and comfortable if we're trying so hard to do all the things so we can take pictures of all the things that we forget that it should be enjoyable.

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  7. We pulled out Christmas decorations yesterday and it was so fun to see what Grace remembered.... like eating the fake snow (cotton batting) from under the tree! She was thrilled to get her Little People 'tivity out too, even if we did lose baby Jesus in 15 mins or less.

    Chombie's smile! I can't get enough.

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  8. It is more than true. Do you want your kids to grow up saying "My mother kept my house really, really clean." or "My mother filled my house with joy."?

    So yes, there is crayon on the wall, but, hey, it's art. :)

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  9. I found a book thrifting this weekend that should be on baby's Christmas list - Wombat Divine by Mem Fox. So cute and perfect for your little chombat! (Also my first comment, even though I have read your blog for years!)

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  10. Nice shots!! Was just talking about holiday traditions with someone last night. I have just a few from my childhood including St. Nicholas Day. And boy do I love what one of your readers said about not wanting her kids to think of the holidays as a time when mommy is stressed. Amen to that!!!! I get tired of the negativity and people who just can't wait for the holidays to be over. It doesn't have to be stressful! I'm thankful to get done what I can and what I don't well, oh well! Happy Holidays.:)

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  11. Lovely, Dwija.
    I want to have that kind of home, too. I'm working on it.

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  12. Lovely reflection (and photos, too) Dwija! - nancyo

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  13. You have no idea how much this post meant to me. After dealing with some mad fussiness and moodiness from the 3 and 1 yo on the Feast of St. Nicholas, this post kept me going - diligently and patiently. I want my boys to feel the same way about our home. Warm, feasting, joy, traditions that guide us to God, and more! It's just hard to see how it will all come together as they get older! Thank you for sharing!

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