Monday, April 25, 2011

Not about Easter

Well, I bet you were all expecting to come over here and hear me ramble on about how much fun we had yesterday (and yes, we totally did!) and post cute pictures of the kids in their fancy clothes that I did manage to scrounge up without buying any new outfits (which I also totally did. Go me!). And you were probably even expecting to hear all about how one of my cousins randomly showed up at the Easter party with ponies wearing saddles and pulling carts so that all the kids could go for rides in their fancy clothes (which OMG did actually happen, oh yes it did!  Have I mentioned my family is quite somber and predictable?  If I have, I was lying.), but you will have to wait until later in the week for those pictures because I don't want all that spectacular awesomeness to get lost in the shuffle of this Easter Monday Redux Extravaganza that I'm sure we're all experiencing. And also because my house has a holiday weekend hangover (despite the fact that the party wasn't even here) and I ought to be carrying out my domestic duties.

Instead I will leave you with this, the first installment of "What I Found Outside" (which might should happen on Wednesdays, but whatevs):

freaky snail sculpture in forest
Now tell me, my brilliant, creative readers....what the FREAK is this thing, and why oh why oh why was it left out in the woods for me to discover on a sunny weekend stroll?  What and why?  Because seriously, I feel like I'm in the twilight zone every time I look at it.  It even kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies.

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25 comments :

  1. I'm sorry, this is not real. Totally not real. You are pulling our legs, aren't you?! That is unreal! :) Thanks for sharing

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  2. I wish it wasn't real! That would mean that the previous owners were not absolute freaks, which, as you can see, they WERE. Never a dull moment around here... :)

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  3. I'm sorry, but I really can't stop laughing at that pic! A snail having a Marilyn Monroe moment? A snail with a wish to be a graying Pippy Longstockings?

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  4. Don't be sorry, Michael. I couldn't stop laughing when I found it! "A snail having a Marilyn Monroe moment"....too funny :D

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  5. Definitely heebie inducing, made worse by the fact that as I was looking at that "thing" a bird flew into the window immediately in front of me. Scared the bejesus out of me! LOL

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  6. Now you are just being cruel. That poor snail has clearly lost his tweezers and you sit here mocking him. Look at that expression of desperation on his face! Aren't ashamed of yourself?

    ;)

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  7. at least his hairs form half a heart which makes him slightly less menacing but still creepy. He needs a haircut.

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  8. Dude...I think it's a sprinkler that sprouted hair for some reason. No wait, I think it's a snail dressed up like a school girl with ponytails for Halloween.

    Ugh, I have no clue.

    Creepy.

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  9. It looks like a snail with fiber optic lights in it. Does it have a battery? That is seriously one of the ugliest (and funniest) things I've seen in a long time!

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  10. They DO look like fiber optics, Paula! Holy cow...I should see if it has batteries. It's still in the woods, but maybe when the babies are napping I can run out there and investigate (don't call CPS!). Wouldn't that just take it to the next level of insanely weird?

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  11. Holy FREAK SNAIL, Batman. That seriously is makng my skin crawl. How big was it?? You should have a special on Animal Planet...seriously.

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  12. I was thinking the same thing that Paula said. Though why someone would need a fiber optic creepy crawly thing is beyond me.

    If its not fiber optics, perhaps the meth heads who owned the house before you were bored? "Hey man! Check out this kick a** snail! You know what would make it even better? Something that looks like a horse tail sticking out from its behind! Ya!! That would be so cool. We could name him snaggle tooth the snail. Maybe we could have fires out here and he will dance for us......"

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  13. I thought fiber optics too, which, of course, explains nothing. Perhaps if his coils lit up, that would make some sense. Well, okay, not really...

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  14. You cannot make this up. Noone would believe you. Thanks for the dash of absurdity during a trying day!

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  15. It's a Madonna snail... very VOGUE! HA!

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  16. When we moved into our house, the previous owners left something behind for us too. it was their "stash." Not as creepy as a snail with hair but def. surprising. Ask yourself one question...if it does have a place for batteries and those are fiber optic cables, is that better or worse?

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  17. This totally reminds me of that United Postal Service commercial with the clown. That thing is weird.

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  18. Olivia, now...I'm not as cool as you, so I don't know for sure what "stash" means, but I'm guessing that you could get in some legal trouble for having it in your possession. Am I on the right track?

    Daenel, YES! When I first saw it I felt the exact same way as those people do when they see the clown. Creeptastic!

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  19. I think that snail is awesome! It dares to be different.... or it was just challenged by the other snails. Great picture! Stop in & check out V is for Verification

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  20. Oh, I see you've located a fossilized version of the elusive rooster-tailed garden slug. Congratulations. It's like a relic or something...or something.

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  21. Holy cow, my prayers have finally been answered. Easy street paved with gold here I come!

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  22. So, dweej, here I was just minding my own business, catching up on my dweej, getting my dweej fix, because I haven't had my dweej fix in like several days, and I've been having withdrawals. So yeah, I was just sitting here expecting to laugh as usual and marvel at your wonderful wit and your marvelous way with words...and what do I get when I click on this post titled "Not About Easter?" Well, I'll tell you what I got. I got nightmares. I got freaked out. I got can't look away from this monstrous...snail/pig-tailed school girl. That's what I got.

    Not at all what I was expecting to get. But that's why I like you.

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  23. OMG. "What I Found Outside" could become a weekly giveaway. I'm just sayin', the snail? I'm kinda diggin' it.

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  24. I'm still laughing because you said "might should"...hahaha.....

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  25. hahahahahaha!!!! It's so funny going back and reading the older stuff you're commenting on because I literally don't remember even saying half of it. Isn't that awful? "might should"....little shout out to my Texas peeps ;)

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