(1)
Well, I pretty much almost died this morning.(2)
Yeah, remember when I alluded to my .jpg) |
| this is the real bucket, my friends |
(3)
(brace yourselves)....a drowned mouse.Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
You better believe I ran out of there screaming. And immediately called my poor unsuspecting husband. Because that's normal, right? To call your husband while he's working to tell him about something he can't do anything about and probably actually couldn't care less about yet? Good.
(4)
So I called him and was all: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-mouse-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-bucket-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-Imma have a heart attack-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" And do you KNOW what he said? Oh my gosh you guys...
"Why don't you just toss it out back in the woods? Something will eat it, I'm sure."
(5)
Um, hi. Do a bunch of middle-aged Catholic men who landscape secretly smoke crack at 9 a.m.? Because that is honestly the only explanation I can think of for his completely unreasonable, totally insane suggestion. I mean, did you hear the part about the RODENT?(6)
Now, I don't wanna be one of those helpless women who are helpless and need all sorts of help and can't manage to survive without hyperventilating and demanding help, but sweetbabyjeezus, I simply cannot go back in there. What am I gonna do when the load is finished? If I don't go and turn the water back off, the bucket will overflow and then the ----specimen---- might wash over the edge onto the flooded floor. AND SORRY FOR MAKING YOU BARF JUST NOW. And if I do back in there, I'll die. (7)
So those are pretty much my two options and how I will even continue with this day I do not know.St. Rodentia, pray for us!
But....but where is the picture of the rodent? Do I need to photoshop one in for you?
ReplyDeletewell... once upon a time, not so long ago, we found one in our toilet. mmm hmmm.
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
DeleteDid you have to move so you could go to the bathroom again???
Ahaha I love this comment.
Delete*shudder*
ReplyDeleteWe live in a 120 year old fixer upper.....I feel your pain. My husband has gotten those phone calls too and he's always remained infuriatingly calm while I carry on. I think I could maybe handle the bucket. Maybe. Id probably get scared and drop it and spill mouse soup all over. My 14 y/o son now takes care of any rodent issues during the day. He's so brave...he swept a mouse the cat killed and left in the living room up with a broom and dust pan and carried the dust pan outside. He really deserves a medal. What a hero! Do you have another bucket? Could you carefully use another bucket to shove the soup bucket when it gets full? Good luck dear girl....you keep me feeling normal:)
ReplyDeleteYou need a mouser--barn cat!
ReplyDeleteOh. Dear. Dweej, you have to brace yourself, grab that bucket, hold it as far away from you as possible and yes, toss it into the words. Yes, throw the bucket too. Good luck! (and ewwwww)
ReplyDeleteHey, throwing the bucket might actually work! Oh man. I've got the
Deleteheebie jeebies again...
Alison's got the idea... Toss the ENTIRE thing into the woods!
DeleteI called Charles one time when he was in the middle of a live radio broadcast to tell him we had a mouse. I have become much more brave out of necessity. If you have mice, set traps and revel in their demise. A dead mouse is a good mouse. Chuck that bugger into the woods, and hope that more drown! I hate HATE! the little bastards! (St Francis of Assisi, I'm not.)
ReplyDeleteI think it's about time for Paul to man-up!
ReplyDeleteGrab one of your girls to throw it out! that's what I do when there's a nasty spider to be killed and flushed. My oldest is awesome about it (she's almost 11). What do you think? YOu think one of your kids could do it?
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way...you reacted exactly as I would have and my husband would have probably said somethign similar. lol
Get a broom & use the handle to pick up the metal bucket handle. That way it is as far away from you as possible. ;) Take it outside and fling the whole thing into the woods! ;) If it all gets stuck in a tree, that's extra points!
ReplyDeleteUgh! But now it's too heavy because it's also filled with water! I tried to go and get it and I just couldn't. Oh my word. I have chills all up and down my spine!
DeleteMy daughter's cracking up here. You're so funny!!! :D
ReplyDeleteThrow a towel over the bucket so you can't see what's in it when you pick it up.
ReplyDeleteI hate mice as well. We had a mouse in my pantry a month ago and the damage that little monster did... one mousetrap later, bated with Mars bar (don't know if you have those in the US, but they're chocolate coated and VERY sweet) and I heard it snap. Sent hubby down to retrieve it (well I wasn't going to) and he picked it up with a shovel and put it in the woodstove!! I let him clear it out and relay it for several days after that!!
Dude....I have to channel my 89 y.o. grandmother at times like this. That woman was/is fearless. Living on a farm all by herself, taking care of things when my grandfather was in WWII...etc. She would look you straight in the eye, grab you by the shoulders and tell you, "Dwija, you can do this. Now go do it."
ReplyDeleteYou are strong, woman! Hold your breath, wear some gloves...put the bucket on the ground (in the woods) and just tip. Spill out the water first...and try not to gag when the mouse comes too. Then, of course, pat yourself on the back...after screaming back to the house.
Wait. You didn't ask for a play-by-play?? I could have sworn you did.....
Good luck!!!!
Channel, channel, channel....
Wait...sworn or swore? My grammar, good grief...
Deleteget a cat or two. and mice aren't that bad. i guess i got used to them since i work with them in a lab.
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly empathize. And you might get a kick out of this post :)
ReplyDeletehttp://theforsheyfour.blogspot.com/2008/11/first-thanksgiving-cue-theme-from.html
Mice creep me out COMPLETELY.
I have no such fear of rodents... but don't get me going on spiders. I would be happy to come and rid you of your rodent problem because honestly, dead mouse is looking like fun compared to this hotel room right now.
ReplyDeleteYou do the rodents, I'll take the spiders and we will CONQUER THE WORLD!
DeleteMan up Dwija! :) Hahaha it really isn't that bad, don't look at it, run to throw it away (you can scream while doing so) and yes, throw the bucket too. There is an actual saint that helps with mice problems, he fed them every day but forbade them to enter the monastery in which he lived. I can't remember his name though.
ReplyDeleteUm - how old is your oldest kid? :)
ReplyDeleteOkay y'all...
ReplyDeleteWith the help of 2.5 of my children, several large sticks, some rubber gloves and a video camera, the mouse is out of my house!
I'll be waiting patiently for my trophy.
I was about to say that I bet 5 bucks Lizzy would do it no problem.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a job for the kids. You can call it a science lesson.
ReplyDeleteYuck! Once I left a soup pot in the sink to soak overnight and, well... you can guess the rest. I almost threw up. Someone else had to take care of that one...
ReplyDeleteOh my lordy, lordy. That would be worse than any poltergeist!
DeleteI have called my husband and demanded he come home to kill "tarantulas" aka- daddy long legs.... i then refuse to go into any room tarantulas aka-crickets or any sepcies of creepy crawly has been spoted.... I wouldnt touch that bucket or go back in that room if I were you... I would send the boy (thats what giving birth to boys is for) to remove the bucket and toss the contents and then bribe one of the older girls to switch the clothes out... for the next week... in case the mouse isnt actually dead and just likes to swim in the bucket and comes back from not being eaten in the woods.
ReplyDeleteI left a crockpot soaking overnight on the counter and found, yes, a dead mouse floating in it after all of the children and the husband had left for the morning. I had no choice but to slap the cover on the crockpot and carry it outside to rest on the patio until the brave husband arrived home. The crockpot was tossed.
ReplyDeleteOn one other occasion, I was trapped inside my in-law's bathroom in the middle of the night with a mouse running circles at my feet. Did I mention that I was five months pregnant? Eventually I plopped a handful of wet bath towels onto the mouse and fled from the bathroom and up the stairs to awaken my sleeping husband who failed to notice my long-term absence.
I have additional horrible mouse tales, but I do not want to give you fodder for more nightmares. Do I hate mice? Clearly I do.
GASP! We are clearly kindred spirits...
DeleteWhew! I'm so glad you got the memo that at least one quick take this week must include the word "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"
ReplyDelete(And drowned mice. Wow. That's pretty horrible, even by my lofty standards.)
Once, I was mowing my dad's lawn, and I came across a big dead crow. I knew my brother Jeff (a hunter) was coming to visit that coming weekend, so I told him to take care of it. He went out in the yard with a bag and a shovel, and it was gone. "That's nature, El," he said. Ick!
ReplyDeleteSince that time, I spent a lot of time single and took care of bugs and the like on my own. But I hate rodents, and I'm not sure how I'd deal.
One of my tutoring students has a guinea pig, "Isn't he cute?" Nope. But he'd be cuter in a bucket of water. That's right, I typed it.
yep. we had a mouse crawl in a pitcher and get stuck in there and died...smelled soooooooo bad...we were disaffecting entire floors before we found this little tiny old shriveled up mouse!!
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend.
My good God in Heaven, this story terrifies me! We had a mouse not too long ago and it freaked me the hell out!! I'm voting with moving still.
ReplyDeleteladies ladies come on. our cats regularly leave dead mice on our front porch - to show off.
ReplyDeleteThen again, one of our cats died in our basement. This was like five years ago and the basement still scares me. Seriously. My husband had to remove it, take it to the vet for cremation etc. I couldn't even look at the whole process.
Wheen i do laundry now I run in and out of there like a little frightened....dwija.
: O
We had a LIVE one in our house. We kept seeing it, but couldn't catch it. Yep, my husband went to work the next day and LEFT me with it. I sounded like a crazy person walking around the house talking to it. "Now, mousy, staaaaay away, I'm coming in the laundry room, don't come out mousy...". Here's my blog about it.
ReplyDeletehttp://truthbeautyandgoodnessintheworks.blogspot.com/2011/11/mousy-in-housy.html
We had three in our Chicago apartment in the span of two or three weeks. As soon as we caught one, I swear to you another ran across the floor. It was awful! Sticky traps were the only way we could catch them. But the problem became what to do with them THEN! I won't tell you the rest. Just know that finding a dead one drowned in a portable receptacle might be the best luck you could have with such a rodent. So glad it's gone! Sorry you had to deal with that on a Friday! That's definitely a Monday problem.
ReplyDeleteLet me just tell you about my bucket incident. We had new construction going on down the street. They were clearing lots, etc., which drove field mice out - apparently to my house. We'd had several incidents over a few weeks time. I would catch them on sticky traps and hubby would have to "take care of it." I had a toddler that was generating all kinds of food scraps that I was throwing into the trash bin under my kitchen sink. I noticed those little mouse calling cards in the cabinet by the trash bin, so I suspected they were getting the baby's food scraps out of the bin. So, one night, I placed a sticky trap beside the trash bin under the kitchen sink. The next day, I kept hearing a banging under the sink. I checked and had caught a rather large field mouse on the sticky trap. No biggie - I hollered at hubby to dispose of said mouse. But I kept hearing the banging. I slid the trash bin out and sheepishly peered inside.... hubby had pulled the trash bag out of the bin and had not put a new one back in (dontcha just hate when they do that??) and a smaller mouse had fallen into the trash bin and couldn't get back out. This mouse must have also been in the family way and all the stress of her current predicament had resulted in the birth of several little mouse jelly beans. Momma mouse was jumping trying to get out of the trash bin and the little jelly beans were writhing about.... I'm not really a squeemish person, but I got the heebie jeebies!
ReplyDeleteHubby took the bin deep into the woods across the street and pitched the whole thing.
Haven't really had any problems since. I think Momma must've spread the word....
Mouse jelly beans! Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!
ReplyDeleteOk. Just arrived here (again) from Hallie. That Moxie Wife has tales of her own. Anyway, one good mouse story deserves another. Mine? As I was scooping dirty laundry up off of my basement floor to put into the washer, I turned around to sort some more, saw SOMETHING out of the corner of my eye. MOVING. LIVE MOUSE. Between me and my escape.
ReplyDeletePS ~ My husband has been in charge of laundry for months.
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