Friday, May 31, 2013

Still pregnant and thankful

This is not my favorite kind of post to write.  The only reason I MUST is because it's one of those things....well, it's what my life has suddenly become about, so if I don't tell you, I have nothing at all to tell you.  Does that make sense?

Burdening people, sharing sorrow- it's doesn't come naturally to me.  I just like to make people's lives better, you know?  But here goes.

Today, I am thankful to still be pregnant.  If I am still pregnant tomorrow, I will be even more thankful still.

Yesterday afternoon we had to race to yet another unexpected squeeze-us-in appointment at the ob's office because all of a sudden there was fluid.  A lot of fluid.  Not blood (praise God!) but just....water.  And even though I've had my share of babies in the past, it didn't occur to me at first what it might be because my water has never, ever broken before I am actually pushing baby out.  Membranes of steel!  But then it hit me what it must be and oh, it was a sad, horrible moment.

Today I am 15 weeks pregnant.  At the appointment we saw a big healthy placenta, a big healthy baby, a big healthy heartbeat.  What we did not see is any fluid around the baby.  What little there had been was gone, caused by an unanticipated tear or a hole in the amniotic sac, also attributed to the evil subchorionic hematomas.  Ugh!  My poor, tiny, helpless baby!

That's all I can think about.  There he or she is, so peaceful, unaware of any imminent danger.  Here I am, unable to do anything to fix it, to keep him or her safe.  I'm powerless.  The baby is helpless.  And so we wait.  We wait and we pray.

The best case scenario is that the tear heals itself quickly, the fluid replenishes itself quickly, and baby's lungs get big and healthy quickly.  And now that I know my membranes are extremely weak this time around, I've suddenly been on a mission to eat and supplement as much as I can to strengthen them.  Honestly, I don't know if any of it works.  But I know it's not going to make things worse, so I'm willing to try it.  Extra vitamin C, extra protein, bone broth, things with gelatin.  Plus lots of fluids to replenish the fluids.  Because if it tore once (when baby is not even big enough to really strike against it), it can tear again.  And I just can't....I don't want to think about it.  We can only take it day by day.

Today I am thankful that baby is still with us.  In six days we'll have another ultrasound to check on the fluid.  Between now and then I will think about little else.   Pray with me, please.


post signature
Pin It

160 comments :

  1. praying praying praying, Dweej!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Prayers, prayers, prayers!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Keeping you in my prayers! St. Gianna, Pray for Dwija and her baby!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. praying for you...this is awful- would bed rest help a little?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Praying for you and your family!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You got it. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, sweet friend.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I know how awful it is to sit and wait, to be unsure about the life and health of your unborn child. I pray that God give you peace of mind and heart, that your body can heal and that your precious little one will thrive.
    St. Gerard, St. Gianna, and Our Lady of Guadalupe, please intercede on behalf of Dwija and her baby!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, Dwija. Praying so hard for you and the baby. I pray the hole can repair itself and the fluid replenish quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, I WILL pray! Count on it. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Definitely praying for you and baby! I'll say a novena to St. Gerard Majella, who's a patron of expectant mothers. That covers the next 6 days nicely.

    St Gianna and St Gerard Majella, intercede for Dwija, please!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Praying for you, Dwija, and your sweet baby.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Baby Jesus, who baptized John the Baptist in the womb, help & heal Dweej's baby on this great feastday!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Much love and prayers to St. Gerard (http://lordcalls.com/prayers-to-saints/novena-to-st-gerard_

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes, Dwija, I will pray with you, we will all pray with you. God bless you and your sweet littlest baby, may Our Lady protect you and hold you in her sweet arms as you wait.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Prayers for you and your baby!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh Dwija, praying hard for you and your little one.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hi Dweej,

    I discovered your site a month or two ago and have enjoyed your adventures and your sense of humor. Reading this broke my heart though. I had bleeding with my first son and was rear ended while pregnant with my second, and I was an emotional wreck thinking I might lose my baby... it's the most awful feeling! Fortunately both boys are here and healthy, and I will pray that you are able to hold a healthy little one in the future after a nice long pregnancy!

    Jennifer @ Little Silly Goose (www.littlesillygoose.com)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Praying heartfelt prayers and sending love. St. Gianna, pray for Dwija and her baby.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You got it, Mrs. Dweej. Prayers coming your way. <3

    ReplyDelete
  20. our little family will be praying for yours.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Praying for you and the baby.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Praying for you and that precious little one!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh we're praying praying for you here in Florida. My mom's praying too. Love to you and that little baby.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am so sorry. I am praying for you and baby.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Prayers for you and your little one!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Many, many prayers for you and baby!

    ReplyDelete
  27. The girls and I just stopped and prayed, we will be praying and thinking of you, Dweej!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Praying for you and your baby hardcore.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dwija, Many prayers for you and your baby from me here in Florida. May St. Gerard, St. Gianna, your Guardian angel and our Blessed Mother, wrap themselves in protection around you both.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Will absolutely be praying for you. I had a friend with PPROM and through good nutrition and strict bed rest delivered a healthy beautiful guy at 36 weeks. I pray your outcome is similar. Regenerate fluid!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Praying for your precious baby.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Praying for you and your sweet baby!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh, Dwija, I am tearing up reading this. I will pray for you and your precious baby. Hang in there. Praying, praying, praying.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Praying for you and your baby. I had preterm labor and strict bedrest last year, it can be so overwhelming when your baby's in danger. Hang in there, Dweej.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Praying for baby, for you and for your family!!!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Dweej - praying for you right now. Asking for St. Gianna to intercede for you and the baby.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Always in my thoughts and prayers

    ReplyDelete
  38. Always in my thoughts and prayers

    ReplyDelete
  39. Many, many, many prayers for you and that sweet little one of yours!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. prayers upon prayers upon prayers

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh! I will be praying for you and your little one!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Lots and lots and lots of prayers...

    ReplyDelete
  43. I found this post via a prayer request on Twitter. Oh dear woman, I will pray for you and your baby. St. Catherine, pray for us. Mary, Mother of God, pray for us. Father God, please protect this mother and her child.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Praying for your peace and strong membranes!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Praying to St. Gerard for you and your baby.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Offering prayers for you, and asking St Gerard to look after you.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Offering prayers for you, and asking St Gerard to look after you.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Praying.
    (My first baby we had many early scares with a the dreaded SCH nonsense. Miraculously they did resolve, without any explanation, around 20 weeks.)

    ReplyDelete
  49. So so so many prayers going up for you and that sweet little one!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Oh dear! Praying! Hang in there... I know at my former OB practice a woman's water broke way too early but they prayed and roughed it out long enough and her baby was okay. It can happen.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. You will certainly be in my prayers. Take courage!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Praying for you Dweej and sending lots of hugs across the miles.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh, gosh, Dwija, I am so sorry that you and your baby are going through this. Many prayers coming your way!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Prayed right away and will continue. From all these comments, take hope that there's an army lifting you before the throne of grace.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I'm praying for you and baby!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Praying for you and the little babe and your whole family. Praying for peace!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  57. PRaying for you and this baby. I know that horrible stage of uncertainty, but you are in the right frame of mind; asking for prayers, resting and hydrating.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Oh, Dwija. A gazillion prayers for you and your sweet baby.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Oh so praying for you and your family,Please some peace for all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Praying for you, baby, and family!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Praying for you and your baby!!!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Praying on this Feast of the Visitation!

    ReplyDelete
  63. Oh, Dweej! I am so sorry. I'm actually headed out to adoration right now and am so glad I saw this. You and babe are coming with me. I hope you're getting a ton of rest. Okay, this might be completely off the wall but I remember the nurse at my doctor's office the first time around saying that aluminum (like in deodorant and possibly cooking ware) weakened membranes. I have know idea if it's true but it's stuck with me.

    ReplyDelete
  64. praying, praying, praying! Calling on the Blessed Mother, St. Anne, St. Gerard, St. Margaret, St. Gianna, and all the intercessory big guns for babies and mamas! Please, please intercede for Dwija and her baby, in Jesus' name, Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  65. You are in my prayers in a special way...

    ReplyDelete
  66. Joining you in prayer for this little life. Lord, hold baby in the palm of Your hand!

    ReplyDelete
  67. Jesus, who also lost blood and water, is with you in this, Dwija and Tommy. And I am holding you in prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Many prayers for you, Dwija!!!

    ReplyDelete
  69. Thanks be to God your baby is alive.
    What a nightmare for you all to be living through. Many prayers indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Praying. Thank you for letting us know even though you don't like to do this kind of thing. We want you to tell us when we can pray for you!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Praying for you! St. Gerard and St. Gianna!

    ReplyDelete
  72. Praying for you, your precious baby, and your family!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Praying hard for your baby, you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Oh, Lord have mercy. I will pray, pray, pray.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Will pray again tonight at Adoration. St Gerard Majella, come to Dwija's and baby's aid. Love you Dwija!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Adding my name to the list! Prayers for peace and healing coming your way! May God hold you and your baby tenderly in His hands over the next few days.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Praying RIGHT NOW.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Please know they my family will offer you and your sweet little one up in prayer during our family prayers. St Gianna, St Gerard pray for this little one and his/her mother. Healing and grace upon them please God.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Please know they my family will offer you and your sweet little one up in prayer during our family prayers. St Gianna, St Gerard pray for this little one and his/her mother. Healing and grace upon them please God.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Oh, mama! My heart breaks for what you are going through! Praying like crazy for you and baby and your whole family....

    ReplyDelete
  81. Prayers for you and your wee one. May God hold you both on the palm of His hand!

    ReplyDelete
  82. Prayers for you and baby. St. Gianna, pray for them!!!! You probably knew this and maybe it was mentioned already but one of the miracles attributed to St. Gianna's intercession for her canonization was a women who lost all her amniotic fluid at I believe 4 months and she was able to carry the baby to term. That baby was a little girl and she was at the canonization Mass for St. Gianna.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Oh my gosh, Dwija! I'm so sorry to hear you are all going through this and yes, please be assured we will be praying. Until then, a huge kiss and hug across the miles. xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  84. Oh! Love and prayers and hugs, dearie!!

    ReplyDelete
  85. Praying Dwija! I saw Cari's first quick take and hadn't been online all day and my stomach did a flip flop for you. Storming heaven with prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Oh my sweet Dwija!! know that Courtney and I are praying for you and your sweet little angel. Praying hard my friend. Hugs from VA!!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Oh sweet virgin Mary, on this, the day of your Visitation, please intercede with your beloved son and provide Dwija and her baby protection and healing.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Why don't they have you on bedrest? My water broke at 32 weeks, with my first. I was in labor, but then it stopped (thank goodness, he was transverse and they were prepping me for a c-section) I was in the hospital for 28 days,flat on my back, only getting up to go potty and a quick nurse assisted shower. He made it to 35 weeks and they then induced him and the rest is history. (he did come via c-section though in the end) Just wanted you to know, I understand, a little. I was much further along. My last baby was delivered 5 weeks early also because of no fluid. Thank God that fluid keeps on producing itself.

    You and that sweet baby are in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Gathering my family to pray for you! Praying for extra guidance from Our Lady...

    ReplyDelete
  90. Our family is praying for you and your little one

    ReplyDelete
  91. St. Gianna St. Gerard, pray for us! Pray for you!

    ReplyDelete
  92. oh Lord hear our prayers, in his name I pray for peace and comfort and a mighty healing. I pray for protection now and in the coming days. hugs and prayers, C

    ReplyDelete
  93. Praying for you and your sweet little one! Jesus I trust in you!

    ReplyDelete
  94. Just prayed my heart out for you and baby Dwija!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  95. Praying for you and your little one!

    ReplyDelete
  96. Our family will be praying for you and yours.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Oh how scary!! Prayers for you and a quick-healing tear! <3

    Jamie

    ReplyDelete
  98. Prayers and strength for you, your family and your sweet baby!

    ReplyDelete
  99. Many prayers and blessings for you and your sweet baby. May you be surrounded by peace and protection.
    -Jaime

    ReplyDelete
  100. I'm praying, too. Lots of memorares.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Oh Dweej. Sending you and babe so much love.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Big hugs and lots of prayers for you and baby, Dweej. -Nina

    ReplyDelete
  103. Praying - I have been there too (18 and 20 weeks)- St. Gianna, pray for this mother and baby

    ReplyDelete
  104. I'm praying hard for you both. I don't know how, but I pray you can keep a strong heart while you wait for your next ultrasound. God bless you, Dweej and Dweejkin!

    ReplyDelete
  105. Joining all the others and PRAYING!

    ReplyDelete
  106. Dwija, oh praying hard,{{}}

    ReplyDelete
  107. So sorry, will definitely be praying for you all.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Posting again to let you know I've been thinking of you so much. Our family was praying for you and your sweet baby at Mass tonight as well as during the rosary. We will continue to pray until we hear from you. Much love Dwij.

    ReplyDelete
  109. God Bless you and your sweet baby. May he send healing to the membranes and wash your little one in healthy waters. No matter what the docs say I would keep up with the prayer, healthy diet and if they haven't already, put yourself on bed rest. It can only help the healing process. I know the feeling of waiting and hoping for the best but those awful thoughts inevitably creep in. I say pray for positive thoughts all around. Positivity does wonders <3

    ReplyDelete
  110. I adore your blog...
    Will pray to St. Gianna on your behalf... who interceded in a case very similar to yours!
    http://www.stgiannaphysicians.org/her_life/canonization_miracles/

    We also have acquaintances who had the same situation as you and their baby was born healthy- now 5 years old.

    Will keep you in prayer in a special way as I am 28 weeks along with our first baby.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Oh my goodness, lots of prayers coming your way. Esp. on this feast of Corpus Christi - as Christ chose to take on flesh and come to us as a baby, may he protect and sustain your little one through this difficulty!

    ReplyDelete
  112. Oh wow. best of luck for you and your baby. I cannot imagine how difficult this waiting is. I had a hard time with it for each of my pregnancies because I felt so helpless. You are doing what you can, there is nothing more you can do. I am hoping the very best for you!

    ReplyDelete
  113. I am praying, praying, praying for you! God is good always and in all ways. He has a plan for you and I am praying that you can be one of those amazing, miraculous, unbelievable stories that leave everyone knowing there can be no explanation but His amazing presence in this world. I am sending you a giant virtual hug! God bless you, Dweej!

    ReplyDelete
  114. Sending good thoughts to all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Praying for you and the little one.

    ReplyDelete
  116. So many prayers coming your way for all of you!

    ReplyDelete
  117. I will offer up my pain for you and your little one. Our Lord is awesome. Keep praising Him and telling your baby that he's in God's hands - always, and that God has plenty of work for him to do on earth!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...