Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Brain dump, sort of a confession + baby update

I feel like being pregnant turns me into a honey badger (link not safe for kids.  Or people who don't like swearing.  Like really.  But man it makes me laugh....).  Or MORE of a honey badger.  Or something.  I can't post anything or write anything because all I can think is "Ugh!  That article made me so mad!  What an unabridged douche canoe that dude is!" (I used that exact phrase, "unabridged douche canoe," on facebook the other day and it was a huge hit, so I'm feeling know...if it ain't broke, no repairs necessary and all that.  Okay fine, along with being honey badger, my brain is made of cheesecloth.  Total inability to think of new material.)

Anyway, it's always hard for me to talk when I don't have something *uplifting* or *meaningful* or at the very least *mildly entertaining* (those asterisks stand for jazz hands.  You have to do jazz hands while you read the words to get the full effect of the sarcasm and such.  Go ahead.  Do it.  It'll be fun!) to say and I don't know if going on some long rant about the mayor of a city in Japan being a no-holds-barred idiot of a turd of some kind of gross creature that I can't think of right now would be all that interesting to you fine folk.

So no posting to the bloggy for me.  Also, I can't really do anything very interesting whilst on the modified bedrest so what do I say?  Like..."today Mary almost pulled my coffee onto herself" or "Paul insisted we get rid of one of our walls because he ran into it" (hey, maybe these could make a blog post after all.  Rookie Parenting Mistakes. Or Stuff my kids say that makes me worried they'll be incarcerated shortly after moving out of my home."  I only put that part into parentheses because I didn't want to break my streak of a parenthetical statement in every paragraph.

Oh!  I've been thinking ever since writing my crappy blogger post that maybe there are some of you who are imagining that I'm one of those holy women that simply cannot WAIT to be pregnant again and are overjoyed and giddy when they get those two lines and then immediately start knitting booties and listening to their hypnobirthing cds.  I. WISH.  No.  I hate being pregnant.  Srsly.  Wrote about it last time right here.  I am humbled and shocked that God thinks, despite my general inability to be patient or craftish or cookery, that I would make a good mother to another entire human being.  So there is my "wow!  amazing!" but I'm not like "Oh YES!  I spent 8 whole months being not pregnant!  I had no idea what to do with myself!"  Um, no.


I had another ultrasound today and baby is growing right on target and looks great so far (whew). The subchorionic hematomas are still there (boo) but have not grown and there are no new ones (yay!).  I'm on that modified version of not-really bedrest until my next appointment in a little under a month, but so far so good.  Thank you all for all your prayers and I would include a lovely profile photo of my fancy new in-utero baby right here, but the camera is, of course, out of batteries.  And it's 10:30.  Which is practically tomorrow  morning in pregnant honey badger land.  So.  You know.

Love y'all!  Thanks again for all the prayers and sweetness!

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  1. Oh, how I love the honeybadger...
    Glad to hear the newest whippersnapper is doing well!

  2. First of all - I LOVE honey badger! And since I am a badger at heart from the great state of WI, anything related to the badger is a great animal in my mind. Not that I would want to meet up with them in the woods or something or in the middle of an African safari - I think that is where the honey badger is from. Anyway, I digress...

    Oh, one last thing about the honey badger, that video - my DH and I quoted it for a long time know the line "Honey badger don't care..." :)

    And nothwithstanding my love and knowledge about the honey badger, I have no idea what "jazz hands" means. I am totally displaying my ignorance, but just keeping it real.

    Oh, and continued prayers for the baby. Congratulations on the good news.

  3. I'm just now reading your news! Congrats! I'll keep you and this little baby in my prayers!

  4. I LOVE Honey Badger! Sometimes I watch it and then go to the one where the guy is teasing his talking dog. I am shameless, I know.

    I am sorry to hear that you are on even modified bedrest - it is hard to do when you have small kids who can't understand why you aren't up to your usual energy level.

    Glad to hear the ultrasound shows a healthy baby that is growing well!!!!! I am so happy for you, Dwija - you are such a great mom.

    I have been in a snarky mood for months now - serious fatigue and absolutely no reason (I mean, I'm not pregnant or anything). So, I can understand your pregnant righteous indignation. I like "Douche Canoe". I may have to borrow that. So much better than "A##hole", which is my word of choice (and me the wife of a clergyman)!

    Take care of yourself. Even when think you don't have anything to write about, you write wonderfully.

  5. *jazz hand* hilarious. I laughed out loud, for realz. I am glad you are hanging in there... and the babe AND you are healthy. Continued prayers for you and the fam! :)

  6. Thanks for the update Dwija :) So happy and doing my jazz hands and all because it´s so much fun (I can´t find the asterisks on the keyboard)(only parenthesis) Sending all my love and prayers!!

  7. Have long loved honey badger vid! Glad you like it too. Maybe we're related. My recent excellently crafted tag was 'overzealous goober'. I used that in the context of referring to the person who flagged my Craig's list posting for reasons still unknown to me although I could venture a guess but they just deleted it instead of getting my side of the story.
    Ree Du

  8. Prayers for you, Dwija. I'm not a huge fan of being pregnant either, to put it nicely. I wish there was a stork! We'd be at at least double our current numbers! ;-)
    I can't even imagine what an amazing mama you must be though, God totally knows what He's doing!

  9. Hugs for you Dwija! Definitely miss you here, but totally understand where you’re at. Take good care of yourself and that little one.

    Oh, and I’m totally with you on the pregnancy thing. My fourth is just 3 weeks old, and I am SO GLAD to not be pregnant anymore!! I was even looking forward to nursing-induced sleep deprivation, just to be done with the pregnancy. Which is saying a lot, coming from don’t-do-so-well-on-no-sleep me.

    While you are stuck on semi-bed rest, check out these little gems. True Facts About the Seahorse. And don’t miss the one on the Dung Beetle. Heck, all the ones I’ve watched are hilarious. Fair warning: you may die of laughter.

    Yes, I did the jazz hands.

  10. We call my Lucia a honey badger quite a bit, cause she just got that "Honey Badger don't care" kinda attitude. The video was a bonding moment for my husband and I while we were dating and we still quote from it. We quote Hunger Games Bad Lip Reading more now, but Honey Badger still has its moments.

    So happy baby's doing well!

  11. I'm just now catching up on blog reading and jumped up and said what?! Baby?! Wow!! Congratulations, Dwija. We'll be praying for you and your little bambino. :-) xoxo

  12. Love that honey badger video!!

    I don't think anyone likes being pregnant really...we just like the baby we get out of it at the end. Prayers for your pregnancy!

  13. Love this one. Cause I'm cranky.
    3rd kid cookin' in three years, I keep telling people it's a miracle I keep doing this because I detest pregnancy SO MUCH. love babies. HATE the process.

  14. So glad to hear everything's going so well! Seriously, you could get on here and ramble every day and I would read every word. Your faith is truly inspiring. You're beyond awesome, my dear...:)

  15. I agree with Paige...ramble at will, we will enjoy it and continue to come back for more! Glad the newest little one is looking good. Continued prayers for you all.

  16. Pregnancy is so hard, but then so is everything worth doing, right? I'm so glad the baby is doing well. Do you find out the gender? I'm praying for a boy!

  17. Keep resting, lady! I'll be sending prayers your way!
    And yay for being a honey badger! That is my husband's nickname for me, pregnant or not. Watch out said that bird!

  18. I'm noticing lately what I always know...I am a completely different woman when i am pregnant. hormones make me cray-cray and I kind of keep to myself a lot more than when I'm not pregnant. Hang in're like -- a third of the way through at least, right? Prayers for continued health for you and baby.

  19. Stealing 'unabridged douche canoe.'

    With my daughter - everything was cause for a massive hysterical breakdown. My husband adopted this, 'back away slowly...speak not...nod and smile...' look that would make me cry harder. Ugh. Not my best moments.

    So glad to hear baby is doing well!! You're in my prayers!

  20. Dwija, I never said congrats and PRAISE THE LORD after your announcement: so Congrats!!! And PRAISE THE LORD!!!! I was so. glad. that was not a bad news post like I thought it was going to be.

    You had a hat-trick of stellar, tell-it-like-it-is, knock-it-out-of-the-park posts a few weeks back there, lady - I was drinking them up like watah - so I think you are a-ok to rest on your pregnant laurels for a little while and entertain us with grammatical commentary and hilariously original insulting phrases!!!

    Good luck enduing the waiting-it-out phase of this one - new little one is surely getting to know the fabulous woman who is his/her momma.


  21. Honey badger when pregnant! That is Exactly how I felt this past pregnancy!!!!! so glad to hear from you :)

  22. I think that merely by referencing honey badger and douche canoe in the same blog post, you have officially *won the internets* (with extra jazz hands). Hang in there!

  23. So glad the baby is still well. Just assuming here, but I think I'd be on pins and needles waiting for something bad to happen. Thank God for modern medicine so we know all is well.

  24. I love you, Dwij!!
    Seriously. I haven't been blogging or reading blogs because my mind is cheese cloth as well. :-/
    And I can't blame a parasitic human on it.. ARGH #donormilk LOL

  25. I want to watch that but I have a sleeping baby in my arms.... me thinks I'll have to watch it later!

    Continuing to pray for you!

  26. i had to turn the volume down so that my preschooler wouldn't hear the honey badger over the stupid wiggles (i really can't stand those guys) and it was so, so worth it. even though i had to stop the video half-way through when i was laughing so hard that little preschooler wanted to come over and see what i was watching. you are an inspiration--i love reading your blog!

  27. Dweej, you're pregnant, again? I didn't know! (This is the first time I'm hearing about this, by the way.) Congrats! :D

    -Tino Tarango, over at CP Catholic

  28. You just introduced me to Honey Badger. I blame you for the last half hour of watching his videos, when I should have been sleeping. When the six-week-old sleeps, I should sleep. But who can resist, "Oooooh, that's disgusting, it's eating a snake! It doesn't give a sh*t!"

    Congrats on the pregnancy--totally with you on the "I spent a WHOLE X many months NOT being pregnant, and I just really missed it, you know? NOT." #3 is 16 months younger than #2. Although honestly, my four-year-old is more work than the younger two, since he can ask me 1000 questions a day.

    1. Is that wrong-sounding---that I find it more tiring to talk to one child than to feed, diaper, and mind two?

      Can anyone give me some perspective on how that works out as they get older? Is it still like playing 20 questions with someone who can and will identify every possible inconsistency or exception to what you're saying? Or does it start to feel more like a conversation? Wolfie's one of the cutest kids I've ever seen, but the chaaaaaaaaaatter is killing me.

    2. Not only do they learn to converse like real people, once the younger ones can also talk, they chatter at EACH OTHER. I am RARELY subjected...I mean "blessed" with 20 minute conversations about whether or not black is just dark brown or whether brown is dark tan.

  29. I saw a honey badger in the San Diego zoo and thought of that video! I guess it had to be taken off display for a while because so many people were coming to see it that it got stressed all because of the video.

    I'm so glad to hear that the baby's growing well!

  30. We love you in all your badger forms! Glad to hear all is well!!

    If it makes you feel any better, I did the math the other day--in our 5 and 1/2 years of marriage, I've only spent 3 months not pregnant or nursing.

    Doing the happy "I'm not pregnant" dance this month over here. ;)


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