Saturday, March 01, 2014

Lent for Pregnant People

A sweet reader, who happens to be 35 weeks pregnant, messaged me a couple of days ago (hi Claire!) asking about observing Lent while with child.  In previous years she's incorporated fasting into her Lenten observance, something that won't really work during this season of her life.  Normally I would just respond to her message personally, but since I have to write a post today anyway, all of you get to see what I would say.  Lucky!

For me the first thing to keep in mind is that observing Lent is neither a competition between you and anyone else NOR is it even a competition between you and yourself.  Either of these approaches can lead to undue focus on self rather than on preparing for the glory of Easter by focusing on Jesus. So instead of a competition, we ought to strive to frame everything in terms of preparation.  Giving something up for Lent is a common way to unite ourselves with Christ's suffering in the time leading up to His crucifixion.

I feel like I need to pause here and tell some kind of joke because I've said too many serious things in a row.  Oh!  Paul tried to tell Cecilia today that a burglar came and stole her unicorn's clothes (long story) but Ceci just laughed at him because "everyone knows that burglars only steal burgers!"
End intermission.

If you like the giving-upping aspect of Lent, giving up something like sugar or tea or insert-your-favorite-daily-treat-here, is perfect if you're pregnant.  It will be something that reminds you daily to meditate on and give thanks for Christ's willingness to suffer.  Each time you have to deny yourself that thing you're so accustomed to having, you'll be called to prayer and thanksgiving.

Another option would be to Take Up something.  Maybe a decade of the rosary per day.  Or maybe an entire rosary.  Or to pray four novenas in a row (not in one day.  Okay, I mean you could do it all in one day, but you might fall into the competition instead of preparation trap, know what I'm sayin'?).  Maybe you've always wondered if you could make daily Mass a part of your routine.  A pregnant Lent might be a good time to give it a try.

Or how about something that doesn't seem holy per se but might push you more toward holiness?  For me, for example, I know the domestic realm is my vocation but I happen to really stink at...most things domestic.  If I took up deep cleaning a small section of my home every day, that would certainly remind me to give thanks for Christ's suffering.  It would also require that I give up something else I enjoy (hello internet.  I love you) so I would have enough time to accomplish it and it would benefit my family because, you know, the house would be so...taken care of.  That's another sort of thing I could, and probably should, take up for Lent this year since I am also totally pregnant.

Okay, I think that's probably enough from me.  Hope this helps a bit and congratulations on your baby!  Homestretch, girl.  You can doooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiit!


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18 comments :

  1. You suggested sugar or tea. I think you might be writing this to me, because you did not mention coffee. Curious. ;)

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  3. YES LENT IS NOT A COMPETITION!! It's actually not even required to give something up. The only requirement is to fast and not eat meat (and if you have medical issues it's okay not to do those things).

    I can remember in high school and college people would compete about who was doing better things for lent like: "Person A: I'm giving up bread!" "Person B: I'm giving up bread, alcohol and SODA!!"

    I'm actually awful at giving things up and half-way through lent would go crazy and start doing it again. So the last few years I've added something to my life like going to daily mass 1-2 times a week, saying more prayers, going to adoration, etc. I think it's sometimes harder to add stuff anyway.

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  4. Oooh, I like the last suggestion. I've actually come up with the idea of trying to do my least favorite household tasks first thing in the morning and joyfully. I think that would actually be more challenging than giving up chocolate, and more about embracing my cross of motherhood and marriage. Lent is about preparing to meet the risen Lord, not an orgy of Pelagian self-improvement or an attempt to outdo the hardcore practices of our friends at Our Lady of Perpetual Chastisement.

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  5. Lent is interesting for us as we're vegans. We're the only vegans in our family. So, it's always amusing to us when our extended family is like "ahhhh, no meat for so long" and we're more like "ugh ... yea, we eat like this all the time". We also don't drink coffee or alcohol. I know, I know, lol. So, we've had to get really creative in terms of what we give up and how we sacrifice! Generally, we eliminate the (vegan) desserts and just incorporate more service.

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  6. Cecilia is my favorite. She reminds me of my Charlotte. I think they'd be fast friends.

    This subject is something I've struggled with for a long time since I've been pregnant-nursing-pregnant-nursing-pregnant-nursing... Forever. Thanks for sharing some tips!

    And I'm glad I'm not the only one bad at domestic stuff. I wish I could just robo clean the whole house, so I'm going to pray on that and see if maybe that's what I should do for lent.

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    1. "robo clean" hahaha!!! I have a friend who keeps house in a way that no matter when I go, the counters are sparkling, a candle is burning, laundry is humming and the kitchen sinks are empty and there are DEFINITELY no dishes piled on the counter, next to the sink...and so I just cannot compare (even though I do sometimes, ouch!). Because "robo clean" sounds right about up my alley (i.e. dishes piled on the counter, even as I type).

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    2. I know someone like that too, and I can't even imagine!!! I don't know how people do it. I get so overwhelmed.

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    3. the answer might be FLYLADY. flylady.net. routines. have a look.

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  7. Thanks again for warning against the ugly monster of pride that can fool us into thinking we are doing something for Jesus when it's still about me me me me me. Starting Lent at 33 weeks pregnant. Hollllla!

    Lent is always different around here....j/k I'm pregnant or nursing or both the last few years! A sweet friend reminded me today that holiness is about the interior life - the state of your soul -the care you take of you and your spouse and children's souls - that's holiness. So that has been a great reminder too. Interior. If these exterior acts thrust our interior to change (they should!) then b-i-n-g-o!

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  8. Totally agree. It actually helps me because that temptation to be over zealous fades a bit and I know His care for me and my child, and then I look at how I can return His Love in gratitude so that I don't just take it as a "pass" and miss the PERSON at the center of Lent. (Him!) :)

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  9. "I feel like I need to pause here and tell some kind of joke because I've said too many serious things in a row." I literally laughed out loud. I love your blog so much :-)

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  10. You are right. It isn't a competition. I've been prayingabout what I should do for Lent and I keep coming back to the same few things: I need to give up yelling, add more cleaning. I want to have a gentle voice with my children like Michelle Duggar (who I most definitely am not), and my house is a disaster zone (I detest cleaning and am very bad at it, and my husband is a pack rat, so clutter, everywhere). I also have to be realistic though, with a demanding 5yo, an active 18 month old and a newborn...I am already sacrificing sleep, and when my husband leaves next weekend until May for work, I'll be sacrificing my sanity as well.

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  11. Just as a PSA: Lent does NOT include Sundays. You can have whatever you've deprived yourself of then... go ahead and count 'em! lol - 40 days from Ash Wednesday to Easter do NOT include Sundays.

    You're welcome. ;)

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    1. (using my husband's google account, btw. lol)

      Replied to myself to add a link: http://www.uscatholic.org/node/425

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  13. I think it's good to recognize that some years, your Lent might be "more involved" and sometimes, not so much. I'm 24 weeks pregnant but feel a decent amount of energy and have a desire for a more "intense" Lent -- so we have a lot planned. Last year, I felt worn out and kept things to a minimum.

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  14. LOVE this post...31 weeks and this was just what I had been thinking about :)

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