Sunday, March 09, 2014

The Crying Season

I cry a lot. Well, maybe I should say that I cry easily.  What I mean is that I'm not sad a lot, but happy things make me cry as much or more than sad things do.  And I was reminded today that Crying During Mass season has started.
Maybe there are other converts out there who feel the same way, but all throughout Lent memories of that  difficult, wonderful, life-affirming journey 14 years ago come flooding back.  Maybe "memories" is the wrong word.  It's like...the weight of what might have been, what I could have missed out on, the idea of the absence of all of this makes itself abundantly clear.  As if I can feel the healing waters of the baptismal font washing over me again, except instead of my face, they're pouring right over my heart.

This morning was the Rite of Election- or the beginning of the Rite of Election which the candidates and catechumens will complete at the cathedral with the Bishop this evening- and that old familiar lump rose up in my throat.  And all I could think was "thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you...." as I tipped my head back and willed the tears to flow back into my eyes.

Alright, enough of that!  What I should say is let's remember to pray for everyone entering the Church this Easter.  Yay!  Welcome home!

And since I forgot for the last three days, here's the torpedo at  26 hearty weeks old.  Three months to go, people.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....



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39 comments :

  1. Woohoo! Looking good, Mama!

    I remember reading once before that your midwife told you that your abdominal muscles had separated in previous pregnancies and told you how to fix that. How did she know and how you do you fix it?

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  2. You're forbidden from losing any weight between PB's arrival and Edel. Because right now, our abs are finally identical.

    What. That wasn't the point of your post?

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  3. I love this - I cry easily too, like at television commercials and such.

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  4. You look great! So happy for you and your family -especially the littlest one! And Cari -I agree totally!

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  5. You have such a cute baby belly!
    -Amelia@OneCatholicMama

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  6. My second and third children were born 14 months apart. When I was five months along with the third, my belly looked a lot like yours and my co-workers started drawing straws on who would drive to the hospital. Fortunately I never got much bigger over the next four months. Hoping that happens for you! <3

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  7. Your Lenten memories are so special! Thank you for sharing them. Makes it more meaningful for me too now.

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  8. I still remember bawling when my husband went up to receive communion for the 1st time. That was in 2004 we were married in 1986 so almost 18 years before our whole family could approach the altar and receive together.

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  9. I know this is really off topic, but can you talk about maternity clothes? Like, what to you thrift and what do you splurge on? How do you look so cute and not frumpy, like I always feel?!

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  10. Three months left of my pregnancy too! You are looking great!

    I'm so happy you joined the Catholic Church, we need you!

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  11. My mom used to do that. I was so embarrassed, she'd always start bawling in Mass, and I never could figure out how she managed to be not-bored enough to manage that. But she's a convert, so maybe that's it.

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  12. This candidate appreciates your prayers! :)

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  13. I'm a convert too! This really hit home for me, thank you for sharing! When I first starting dating my now husband, he took me to adoration. I had no idea what it was all about. I quietly sat in the back of the church (my first real experience in a Catholic church) while waiting for him, tears starting streaming down my face. I had no idea why but I felt so moved and so "at home." I was received into the faith in that very same place a couple years later.

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  14. Yay for a bump picture! You are too cute!

    And I totally get teary this time of year (especially during holy week... oh and this year with the hormones... it ought to be extra intense!).

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  15. I was born a week before Maundy Thursday, and my first time at church was on Easter Sunday, so I know exactly what you mean. It's a rebirth of the church as well as remembering my own birth and spiritual rebirth, with my baptism being the first Sunday after Easter

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  16. you look so hot, and that belly is crazy pointy … he's gotta be lying on his back sticking his feet straight out!

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  17. Oh My Gosh, Dwija! You are cover-girl gorgeous!

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    1. Not that that is a surprise to anyone who knows you.

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  18. It's Crying Season for me all year long. But Lent, oh Lent. If I'm not crying from emotion, I'm crying from hating Lent. But it's all so so good. Today hubby and I were rushing out the door to go to Adoration before Mass, and my in-maws were going to bring the kids a few minutes later. I hear my eldest crying frantically for me and when I rushed into the room she was half-dressed and sobbing because she wanted to go to Adoration with us! It makes me cry right now just thinking about how happy that made me. Of course we waited and went as a family and I cried during Adoration and during Mass and during the Rite of Election and when we celebrated my second daughter's birthday. So yeah, Crying Season.

    And you ARE beautiful, Dweej. :)

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  19. I love the way we can see your belly button right in the middle, like the cherry on top.

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  20. I have honestly never seen a belly as cute as yours. And you look so pretty still...boys are good to their mamas! (And I tear up almost every day too!)

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  21. I'm a convert too, from 2011. I missed my own Rite of Election because I was a bit busy giving birth to my youngest that day. There was a baptism at my church last week of an 8 yr. old and I cried the whole way thru it, it was so beautiful. My husband is Protestant, so I cannot have my children baptized in the church and I wondered if the parents of that child realized how blessed they were to be able to bring their son forward for that sacrament.

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    1. Oh Amy, my heart hurts for you. You and your whole family are in my prayers.
      You *can* get your children baptized in the Church, even if your husband isn't Catholic. Shoot, if you use the proper Trinitarian formula, *you* can baptize those sweet babies of yours.

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    2. Ummm, yeah, I'm with Cari here (though I would only use home baptism in an emergency). There is no reason your can't get your children baptised Catholic. Unless it would cause some dire marital strife or something, I would enquire with your priest ASAP. You might even be able to have them all baptised at the same service. Extra fun there!

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  22. Convert here too and yup yup yup. Cry during mass front lent constantly!!! Beautiful belly.

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  23. Me, too! Our wonderful Deacon gave such a homily yesterday that I was doing the same, "Get back in my eyes, tears!" head tilt. Yay for the Church! Yay for Lent! Yay for Jesus! Oh, shoot. Now I'm head-tilting at work ...

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  24. Wanna cry a little bit more? Check this video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNN2dUPcFvI. Kids are playing the Easter history. Ok, it's in portuguese, but the video is pretty beautiful and you can work on the narraiton yourself. It was made last year by a baptist comunity, if I`m not mistaken, but the sotry is pretty faihtful. Hope you like it. and cry a little bit more... :-)

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  25. I'm so glad I'm not the only convert who gets a lump in her throat this time of year :)

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  26. I love this. I am currently converting and went through the Rite of Election yesterday. I am not usually one to cry easily, but I find myself doing it so much lately just thinking about everything: the fact that I was an atheist for over a decade, that I'm, incredibly, where I am now, that I missed out on this for so many years… I love the Church so much that I can't believe it took me so long to get here! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's fighting tears a lot these days :)

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    1. Amy, how beautiful!! Welcome home! I need to hear stories like yours when I become discouraged with what I see in my extended family. Sometimes it is easy for me to give up just a little bit and think that all our prayers for someone's conversion are for naught! Thank you for posting this!!

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    2. Agreed! This comment gave me so many happy feels :)

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  27. So, Dwija, if I run into you and see your sweet, sweet family and your adorable pointy bird and there are clouds in my eyes, I don't have to make up a story about my eyes being weak in the morning and the sun is so bright?? I'm glad you won't think I am crazy!

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  28. I have bouts of crying, mostly they get started at the mass. And pregnant with our third, well, it's just gonna happen. My husband is so sweet and understanding. I hope and pray our kiddos have the same interior love and longing for the Lord. And I Love Torpedo belly! You can do it!

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  29. Oh man! Is mass-crying both a pregnant AND a convert thing? Do they act as a double cry-whammie? I never knew. I feel so validated. Ps love getting to know you through various social media platforms! Ha!

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